


Recovery

by WhereWeStandIsNowhere



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2019-11-13 05:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 42,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18025931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhereWeStandIsNowhere/pseuds/WhereWeStandIsNowhere
Summary: The final battle between Supergirl and Reign leaves Sam in a coma. Alex takes it upon herself to be the person who helps her heal. Canon-ish until 3x12, but no Legion or Lena/James. Cross-posted on FF.net





	1. Awaken

Alex grabs Ruby’s backpack off the counter as she hears heavy footfalls rushing towards the kitchen.

“Lena is here already, where did I leave my-.” Ruby stops mid-sentence when she sees what Alex is holding in her hands. “Oh, I thought I had it in my room last night,” she laughs as Alex helps her arms through the straps.

“Now hurry up before Lena gets mad you made her late again,” Alex laughs as she ushers Ruby towards the door.

“You know Aunt Lena is never really mad,” Ruby answers before giving Alex a tight hug. “Don’t forget we are visiting my mom today,” she shouts as she races out the door towards the awaiting vehicle.

Alex hasn’t forgotten. She never forgets that Fridays are the most painful days of the week.

It’s been five months since the final showdown between Reign and Supergirl. By the time the battle had happened, Reign had gained full control over Sam’s mind and the team had realized too late that they had been the same all along.

_“How could I have been so stupid? How could I have missed this? She confided in me. She told me every instance of memory loss and I’m the idiot who couldn’t realize most of those dates lined up with an attack by Reign.” Alex is pacing around the DEO command center, chiding herself._

_“You can’t blame yourself for this,” Kara responds, attempting to console her sister. “Hindsight is 20/20, there’s no way you could have known.”_

_“We almost saved Purity from turning and we didn’t even know her, Kara!” Alex nearly shouts as her pacing stops and she turns to face Kara. “Sam has Ruby and- and us. We could have helped her fight Reign from taking over her mind.”_

_Kara has never seen her sister so rueful in her life. Usually Kara is the one weighted down by undue guilt. She never thought Sam and Alex were particularly close, but Alex’s reactions seem like there could be more there._

_“Maybe we still can,” Kara whispers. “Maybe that love for Ruby and Lena and you and I will be enough? Maybe we can get her to fight her way back to the surface.” She sees Alex’s resolve fall even more._

_“Ruby has been through so much Kara. She will do anything for her mom. But I couldn’t risk her life for all the maybes in the world. I’ve already failed her and Sam once. I refuse to do so again,” Alex sulks._

_Kara sighs and realizes exactly why this hurts Alex so much. She feels a connection with Ruby and she feels as if she’s failed her and Sam by not realizing sooner. She walks over to Alex and puts both hands on her shoulders. She looks her in the eyes while she says intently “we will find a way to stop Reign without killing Sam.”_

_Alex somehow trusts and believes her in that moment._

It’s been five months and Sam has been in a coma ever since that fateful day that Supergirl and Reign finally faced off. Genetic tests reveal she still has Kryptonian DNA, so they have been trying to heal her using the same techniques they use on Kara. They’ve kept her under sun lamps 24/7, monitored her life signs, kept her on a ventilator. Two rooms down, lied Kara in a similar state.

Two months passed and progress was great. Kara and Sam improved enough for their bodies to function on their own. They were taken off ventilation and Ruby, Lena and Alex waited on baited breath as their loved ones held on.

And then, their progress diverged. Sam plateaued as Kara continued to improve. A twitch of an eyelid or a finger here and there, increased brain activity revealed Kara would awaken soon. And she did. But Sam laid still, her mind silent.

It hasn’t been easy for Kara, and the grief hasn’t gotten better for Alex. She thought Kara waking up would have her feeling overjoyed, but with Kara awake, she realized she was grieving for Sam as well. For the friend she was becoming to Alex, for Ruby’s mother.

Alex walks into the DEO and sees Kara grinning while talking to Winn. She still doesn’t have her powers back, but they seem to be resurfacing.

“Hey, shouldn’t you be at CatCo,” Alex asks once she’s within 5 feet of the pair.

“I took the morning off,” she says with that small smirk she often smiles. “Winn and I are going to work on a new injection he thinks might increase my rate of recovery. Plus, I figured we could get some training in while we can still spar without needing the green room.”

“Kara what did I tell you about experimenting on yourself to speed up your healing. If you spent half as much time under the sun lamps you’d have full powers back by now,” Alex groans. She points a stern finger at Winn, “don’t kill my sister with your weird concoctions, we both know chemistry is not your strong suit.”

Winn holds up his hands in surrender, while Kara chuckles and bumps him with her shoulder. “I promise I am having Lena check all of his work. So, what do you say about sparring?”

“Sure,” Alex agrees. “But, I want to run some tests and check on Sam first.”

Kara nods her head and Alex heads towards the medical bay. Kara gives Winn a smug look that has him shaking his head. “I am not getting in on this bet. You were pissed when you found out about James and I’s bet on you and Lena. No way am I going down that road again. Alex scares me more.”

“Don’t be such a baby,” Kara chuckles. “Let’s call Lena and see if she has our results!”

Alex heads towards the unit where they have Sam quarantined. She’s locked away in a cell similar to Purity’s. There’s a mic. system set up so when people visit they can speak to Sam without breaching the security locking her away. Alex was hesitant to treat Sam this way, especially if Ruby was going to be visiting.

Lena and J’onn convinced her this was the only way. They had no way of knowing if Reign was still active without being able to monitor some brain activity and they couldn’t take the risk of Sam awakening as Reign. And, with her DNA still indicating she is Kryptonian, Alex fears to think that the transformation is complete and they will never have Sam back. She refuses to let herself think that way.

Protocol for entry into the room required a lot of paperwork and several security checks and balances. Under no circumstances was anyone allowed to enter Sam’s containment chamber alone or without the concentrated kryptonite weapons developed to stun her.

But five months of being left dormant and surveillance of Sam’s chamber had lapsed. Many agents believed Sam would never wake up.

Alex wishes to say today is the only time she’s broken protocol to see Sam, but she did so for the first time two weeks ago. It was brief, she thought she saw movement and needed a closer look. Nothing happened, she held Sam’s hand for a few moments, saw what she thought was eye movement below her eyelids. Her cellphone rang and startled her out of her trance and she quickly left the room.

Nothing had changed in Sam’s progress but Alex was beginning to think that maybe touch may help. She knows she’s read that somewhere. Maybe her touch would be strong enough to ignite something in Sam. So, she walked intently to her unit and disabled the alarms.

She opened the holding doors and walked over to Sam’s limp body. She took her pulse and a blood sample. She checked her readings. Nothing seems different.

Now she sits next to Sam with their hands enveloped. She stares intently at her calm, and strikingly beautiful countenance. Alex would be lying if she didn’t admit that Sam was gorgeous. She clearly has a thing for brunettes with big, beautiful, brown eyes. And on top of it all, Sam was kind, so very intelligent and one of the emotionally strongest people Alex has ever met in her life. She was nothing like Reign. 

Alex loves Kara, but she hates Zor-El with a passion for what he did to Sam. Alex’s grip grows tighter on Sam’s hand as her anger spikes for a moment while thinking of that man.

She doesn’t know why she’s so attached to Sam. She felt that they could be good friends just from the moment they met eyes. And meeting Ruby and seeing the fruitions of becoming a mother sparked something in her. It led to her making the hardest decision of her life. She broke her own heart knowing she’d like to have her own Ruby one day. She can only thank Sam for that.

And now, she’s ended up with Ruby and it’s in no way what she thought she’d been asking for. She’s been caring for Ruby since a few weeks after the incident. Lena tried to care for her at first, but seeing her best friend in a coma as well as her girlfriend weighed too heavily on her, on top of having to keep L Corp and Catco afloat in their absences. 

Alex eventually moved into Sam’s house to look after Ruby since her apartment was too small and harbored too many memories of Maggie. 

As much as she loves Ruby and is happy to take care of her, every time she looks into her eyes she sees Sam and it hurts. She has no idea why, but it opens up a saturating feeling of longing, deep in her gut. It hurts sometimes almost as much as when she had to say goodbye to Maggie.

She assumes it is sadness for Ruby, for she sees the grief and longing in those eyes too. She knows Ruby is barely holding it together.

Alex strokes Sam’s hair once, pushing it to one side. She stares intently at her eyes, then the EEG monitor, then at her eyes again. 

Alex sighs. “Sam,” she whispers to the sleeping form. “It’s been five months since I’ve seen you smile. I look into Ruby’s eyes and they remind me of yours and I realize I miss them.”

“Whatever is going on in there, I need you to fight it. Please fight it!” Alex is begging and she never begs. “I love Ruby so much, but she misses you. I can’t take seeing her hurt anymore. You need to wake up.”

Alex sniffs, she refuses to cry but damn does she feel like she is close to it. She looks at the monitor and notes again that nothing has changed. She begins stroking her thumb against Sam’s hand as she speaks.

“Ruby is so amazing and strong like you. She’s holding it together, but it gets harder every day. I can tell that she’s hurting. She’s been visiting you every Friday. I hope you are hearing her when she talks to you.” 

Alex pauses, palms her face and rubs at her eyes willing the tears back. 

“Sam, she’s so smart and I don’t want you to miss too much. She graduates middle school in a couple of months and she has one of the highest GPAs in her class. She’s nervous even now to start high school. I told her that’s months away but she worries as much as you do,” Alex laughs out bitterly. 

“She’s going to visit today. It’s been five months too long, Sam. It’s time for you to wake up. I don’t how much longer we can all go on missing you.” Alex checks the monitors several times throughout her conversation but still nothing changes.

She sighs and checks her watch. She realizes she should probably go find Kara to spar before she comes looking for her and finds her in here exposed to Reign.

Alex stands and steps towards the head of Sam’s bed. She leans over and plants a peck to Sam’s forehead similar to how she wishes Ruby goodnight every evening. “Please wake up soon,” she whispers near Sam’s ear and heads towards to door. She doesn’t notice the single peak that dances across the EEG as she steps out.

She spars harder than she ever has with a powerless Kara. They are panting in opposite ends of the sparring room, Kara gripping her abdomen.

“I think I’m gonna pass out,” Kara huffs. “You didn’t hold back.”

“You need to be prepared to protect yourself, even without your powers. I won’t go easy on you just because you’re powerless. That is always when you need to be your strongest, Kara,” Alex barks at her.

“You only get like this when something is bothering you,” Kara points out. “What has you so worried? Is there something wrong with Ruby?”

“Something wrong with Ruby?” Alex mocks bitterly. “Her mother is in a coma, Kara. She may be completely gone for good, lost in her own mind. And in the off chance that she isn’t, she could wake up as a worldkiller and destroy everything.”

“Alex, we just need to remain hopeful,” Kara pleads.

“I’m beginning to lose hope,” She sighs. “Every day she remains asleep, her odds diminish.” She hangs her head in sorrow and leaves Kara behind. She cools down by sparring with the punching bag for an hour. Kara knows not to bother her when she gets like this, and gives her sister her space.

Alex focuses all of her anger onto the bag and attempts to clear her thoughts. She doesn’t know why she’s so frustrated. Why does she care so much about Sam? Why does this have her so wound up?

She thinks of Ruby. She’s just worried about Ruby. She’s a teenager and she needs her mother.

“Maybe Sam needs her as well,” Alex thinks. In that moment, she decides to let Ruby past the barriers keeping her from her mother.

An hour later, when Lena arrives with Ruby, Alex leads her straight to the medical bay. Usually they will do homework before visiting Sam, but Alex wants to go through with her plan. Thankfully Lena and Kara are too wrapped up in each other to notice the unusual behavior Alex has been exhibiting. Ruby, on the other hand is much more observant.

“Why are you so jumpy,” Ruby inquires.

“You are going to get to see your mother,” Alex exclaims.  
“Yeah, I get to every Friday?” Ruby remarks.

Alex smirks and shakes her head. “I’m going to sneak you past the security measures.”

Ruby stops mid stride and Alex grabs her hand. “We have to do this quickly, Ruby we don’t have much time,” she pleads as she tries to pull her along.

“Alex, what if we get caught,” Ruby asks.

“I will get in trouble,” Alex admits. “But Ruby, your mom has been asleep a long time. The longer she sleeps, the less her odds become. This needs to happen.”

Ruby looks down and ponders it for a moment. She raises her head with resolve and looks Alex in the eyes. She sees desperation in them, and feels the same urge within. She nods confidently and continues towards her mom’s containment room, Alex right behind her.

When Alex disables all of the security measures and opens the second chamber door, Ruby’s resolve weakens momentarily. Alex grabs her hand and ushers her along.

“If anything happens, I will keep you safe,” Alex assures her. “If I tell you to run, Ruby you need to run. Don’t wait for me, don’t look back, just get out and close the doors.”

“But-“ Ruby begins.

“Do as I say,” Alex demands and Ruby reluctantly nods.

She creeps in slowly behind Alex. It’s haunting to Alex how afraid Ruby is of her own mother. But Reign did terrible things and she barely recognized her the last time she had encountered her mother’s alter ego. 

“I won’t let anything bad happen,” Alex promises.

Ruby steps next to her mother’s bed. She looks at her for several moments then looks to Alex for direction.

“I read that coma patients are more likely to respond to audible and physical stimulus,” Alex explains, stepping closer to Ruby. “I think you should talk to her, like normal. Maybe hold her hand as well?”

Ruby nods and takes Sam’s hand. “Hi mom,” She starts awkwardly. “Alex let me in to see you. She’s been taking really good care of me,” she notes, looking toward Alex. “But, I miss you. It’s been months since I’ve had one of your famous hugs to cheer me up, or a surprise ice skating session.”

Alex takes a seat at the foot of Sam’s bed while Ruby continues to chatter on about how the last week has gone. Once she’s finally got her mother caught up she stops to realize she never thought she’d be able to touch her mother again. 

She looks down at Sam for a few moments before deciding to hug her as best as she can. She leans in and wraps her arms around Sam’s prone body. “Please wake up,” Ruby pleads.

She continues to observe her mother but becomes frustrated that nothing is happening. Alex walks over to her and puts a hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t say it would be immediate, Ruby. But, we can keep trying,” She promises. “For now, we have to go. Lena will be coming by to help with your science homework any minute.”

Ruby nods sadly and begins heading towards the door. Alex begins to follow when she notices movement on the EEG. She steps closer to Sam as she thinks she notices her fingers twitch. She can’t believe it, thinks she’s going crazy.

She only has a few seconds to ponder until alarms begin to blare and Sam sits straight up with an intense and powerful gasp.

“Ruby, get out,” Alex shouts as Sam or Reign continues to gasp for air. Alex demands Ruby listen with one look and Ruby is quick to exit the room and shut the doors behind her. 

In that moment she is aware that several people have entered the room and she has been caught in the containment chamber, but that is the least of her worries. She may currently be locked in a room with Reign.

She takes time to observe. The brunette is starting to become aware of her surroundings and Alex knows it will only be a few seconds more before her fate is decided. She notices though, that her hands are still restrained, Reign could easily have ripped loose. But, maybe she hasn’t fully awakened yet. Or maybe, she is powerless just like Kara. Either way, she may be harmless.

She hears tons of commotion outside and knows she only has a few moments to help decide the woman’s fate. They will shoot before Sam has a chance to prove herself in order to protect Alex. She needs to show them the woman before her is Sam before they move in.

She hears Lena shout, “get Ruby out of here.” Sam’s eyes grow wide at that and finally Alex knows. She knows it must be Sam in front of her. She rushes forward and begins unbuckling Sam’s hands. Once free they instantly grab hold of Alex in a vice grip.

The DEO team moves in, but Alex blocks their shot at Sam.

She remains in that position on purpose and brings her hands up to Sam’s face, cradling it in her hands. “Sam, I need you to let me go and put your hands up in the air, ok? They think you’re Reign. I know it’s you!” She is desperately pleading with the woman. “Put your hands up.”

Sam registers what Alex says and begins to sob as she lifts her hands in the air. Alex tries to wipe away her tears but they come too quickly for her to contain. “Stand down,” She shouts behind her, her eyes never leaving Sam’s. She hears no movement behind her to indicate anyone has listened to her orders. She gets lost in teary eyed pools of brown and tries to convey that she won’t let anything happen to her.

“J’onn,” she pleads, turning her head towards the three people standing outside the chamber. “Tell them to stand down. It’s Sam, I promise it’s Sam. Tell them to stand down.”

“We can’t know for sure, Alex,” he replies firmly. “You know how Reign can play tricks. You know she could be deceiving us right now.”

“It’s Sam, J’onn. Please just trust me,” she begs, almost in tears now. She looks to Kara and silently pleads with her to get him to agree.

“J’onn, if Alex says it’s her, we need to trust her.” Kara isn’t so sure also, but she trusts her sister. She also knows Alex would risk her own life to save Sam and she’s not willing to let that happen.

J’onn sighs. It takes him several seconds before he gives the order and the agents lower their weapons.

Sam gasps into a gut-wrenching sob before she wraps her arms around Alex in a tight and desperate embrace. Alex holds onto her and tries to console her, whispering reassurances into her hair. 

She sobs for an uncountable length of time. The entire team has filtered out to give them space as Alex keeps her in their embrace for as long as Sam needs. Each sob is heart-shattering. Alex hasn’t seen anyone in this level of pain since Kara had been released from the clutches of Red K. She wishes she could alleviate that pain, but knows it’s not that simple. How do you heal someone’s soul?

Finally, Sam pulls back, her sobs weakening. “I did such terrible things,” she rasps out, her voice nearly gone due to disuse and over-exertion from crying. 

“That wasn’t you, Sam,” Alex replies, brushing her hair out of her face.

Sam does not relent. She yanks her head back as if she’s been scalded. “I’m a monster. How can you even be in the same room as me?” She is disgusted and guilt-ridden and Alex refuses to let her doubt herself.

“Because you are kind, strong, smart and incapable of ever doing the things Reign did. A monster is the person who coded Reign into your genetics. You are not a monster, Sam.” Alex looks her in the eyes and begs her to listen to her. “It wasn’t you. We all know it wasn’t you.”

“I hurt you,” Sam sobs. “And Ruby, oh God, Ruby.” Sam lifts her hand to hold back another gasping cry. “I remember it all. I was the one doing all of it.”

“Sam, look at me,” Alex demands pulling the CFO’s chin to get her to raise her head back to eye level. “Everyone knows it wasn’t you. Ruby, she forgives you. I forgive you. You need to forgive yourself.”

“If I had just come to the DEO sooner. If I had realized. She had total control and I had no idea,” Sam rambles on.

“And if I had realized your blackouts coincided with Reign’s attacks,” Alex adds. “Hindsight is twenty, twenty. Sam, I beat myself up for it for weeks. It’s useless. We need to move forward.”

“How can I move forward knowing all the pain I’ve caused?” Sam pleads, shaking her head as more tears begin to fall.

Alex brings her hands to cup Sam’s cheeks and uses her thumbs to brush away her tears. “You are such an amazing and caring and kind woman, Sam. You have done and can continue to do so much good. You fought Reign. You are the one who defeated her. Not us, you. I know it wasn’t easy, Sam. I know it took an unbelievable amount of strength. And it’s because you knew what Reign was doing was wrong. You couldn’t let that parasite continue to use you to wreak so much havoc. You are a hero, Sam.” Alex thinks she may have gotten through to her until Sam’s head falls in shame.

“I don’t think I’ve defeated her,” Sam admits.

“What do you mean?” Alex asks.

“She’s still in here,” Sam says pointing to her head. “We fought, the entire time I was asleep. I pushed her deeper and deeper into my psyche. Unfortunately, I ended up getting lost as well. I heard you this morning, talking to me. I followed your voice for a while but then it stopped. And then I heard Ruby,” Sam smiles through tears at that. “I heard her and I just followed and followed and here I am.”

“Sam, that’s amazing. It worked,” Alex admits excitedly until Sam grips her wrist a little too tightly.

“Alex, don’t you see?” Sam nearly shouts. “If I found my way out, so could she.”

Alex shakes her head, ignoring the slight pain in her wrist. “No, Sam. We won’t let that happen again. We can teach you how to control her. Lena can continue to try to find a way to purge the coding. We will be able to stop her this time.”

“And what if you can’t?” Sam asks. “What if I hurt you again? What if I kill Kara next time? What if I hurt Ruby?”

“You would never, Sam.” Alex gasps. “Ruby is what kept you strong. What made you fight. What kept Reign from establishing full control for so long. You know you would never hurt her.”

“I can’t be sure,” Sam sighs.

“What if we brought her back in, so you could see-“

“No,” Sam says sternly, cutting her off. “I can’t be around her until I’m sure I won’t hurt her.”

“Sam-“

“Alex, promise me you will keep me contained until we are sure,” Sam begs.

Alex looks at her wearily for a moment, but finally nods reluctantly. “We will keep you here in the containment chamber. I’ll bring Lena back in and we will start with some tests okay?” Alex asks and Sam nods. “Let me just go talk to Ruby.”

She turns to walk away but Sam grabs her wrist again, stopping her. “Tell her it’s for her protection, that I love her.”

“Of course, Sam,” Alex agrees. She leaves the chamber, reinstating all of the security mechanisms as she goes. She finds Ruby, Lena and Kara at the end of the hallway waiting for her.

“How is she?”

“Is she okay?”

“Can I see my mom again?”

All three voices speak over each other attempting to learn Sam’s fate.

Alex chooses to answer Ruby first. She walks up to the teenager and puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Ruby, your mother loves and misses you. She told me she woke up because she heard you speaking to her today.”

“There’s a but coming isn’t there,” Ruby perceives. 

Alex pinches her lips together and nods sadly. “Honey, Sam is worried that Reign could still take over. She fought and pushed her very deep into her mind until they both got lost. But she’s worried that if she was able to find her way out, so may Reign. And she’s worried most of all, that she could hurt you.”

“Can I still talk to her from the observation room?” Ruby asks hopefully.

“Of course, Ruby,” Alex assures. “And I will do everything I can to get her cleared soon.”

It’s a promise she will assuredly keep. If she is not at home babysitting one Arias, she plans to be here monitoring the other.

“Wait, so she says she went into her deep psyche?” Lena ponders. “That explains why her body continued to function but there was no brain activity. Her conscious was too deep in the brain to be monitored.”

“Do you believe Reign could reemerge?” Kara asks her girlfriend.

“it’s possible,” Lena says sadly. “But, Sam has controlled her before. I have no doubt that now, she may be able to fully contain Reign within her mind. We just need to train her mentally and physically. I can try to invent a monitor to reach Sam’s deeper thoughts. We can monitor them if there is any odd movement, we will know it could be Reign awakening. Then we can go from there, be prepared.”

“And what do we do if Reign does emerge,” Alex asks. She is slightly unimpressed with Lena’s plan and a bit angry that she admitted the risk of Reign resurfacing in front of Ruby.

“We help Sam fight her off,” Kara replies as if it is the easiest thing in the world. 

Alex wants to argue but knows now is not the time, especially with Ruby right there. It is best to keep the hopes high.

“Ruby, Lena and I are going to run some tests on your mom. We will make sure she has everything she needs and is comfortable while she remains here and heals. After, I will come get you so you can say goodbye, okay?”

Ruby nods sadly and replies with an “okay.”

Alex nods to Lena and they begin heading back towards Sam’s room.

It’s a short walk to the end of the med bay where Sam’s room is, and yet somehow, it still manages to be silent and awkward. Lena and Alex have never had the best relationship. Even with them both worrying about Kara and Sam, and being jointly responsible for Ruby, they didn’t get particularly close. They encouraged each other, but never talked about how they felt. 

Lena doesn’t know how to talk to Alex about anything that has happened with Sam. Because, she knows Sam means something to Alex. Something that would toe the line of talking about feelings, and Lena doesn’t know how to touch on that with Alex. Admitting that her and Kara were dating was difficult enough.

Alex clears her throat and opens the door to Sam’s observation room, letting Lena file in before her. “Sam, we are going to need to come back in, is this okay?”

Sam nods and shudders out a “yes,” as Alex begins eliminating all security measures except for the cameras.

They draw blood, test her pulse and check her scans. They do everything they can to study Sam’s condition using the medical equipment available in the containment room.

“We need to bring you to radiology and have another CT scan done,” Alex tells Sam, who instantly begins shaking her head.

“I don’t want to be unsecured, in case-“

“Sam, that isn’t going to happen,” Lena interrupts her. “But I can’t assure you until we try to study the rest of your brain.”

“I need you to figure out a way to move me where we are sure I can’t hurt anyone,” Sam pleads.

“Okay,” Alex promises, taking Sam’s hand. “Okay,” she assures again.

“We need to see if you can stand, Sam,” Lena moves on. “By all accounts, your body has been healed a long time, but five months of disuse can lead to atrophy and weakness in the legs.”

Lena and Alex work towards removing the straps on Sam’s ankles and Sam immediately turns and dangles her free legs over the edge of the bed. 

She lowers one leg and puts weight on it while leaning against the bed and holding on to the railing attached to the side of the bed. She feels steady enough to lower the second leg and remain holding onto the railing. When she feels balanced, she puts the full weight of her body onto both her legs.

She doesn’t predict her knees giving out on her and as she tumbles to the ground she hears a deafening creaking and groaning sound. 

Alex and Lena watch before them as Sam falls to her knees, contorting and bending the metal bed railing on her way down. Lena looks astonished as Alex runs towards Sam’s side.

Sam has enough time before Alex arrives next to her to realize what she’s done. “Stay back, Alex,” Sam demands, stopping the redhead in her tracks.

“Sam-“

“No, I might hurt you,” She interrupts.

“How does she have her powers back,” Lena wonders.

“She’s been under the sun lamps this whole time,” Alex answers before looking smugly at Lena. “Which means your girlfriend should probably listen to me and be under the sunlamps instead of looking for easier ways to heal.”

“Noted,” Lena relents.

“Sam,” Alex tries again, stepping closer to the brunette. “You’re half Kryptonian. In implanting Reign in you, they also implanted Krytonian genes into you. You have powers, but we can teach you to control them.”

“I can’t be sure I won’t hurt you,” Sam shakes her head. 

“Take my hand, you haven’t hurt me yet and we’ve touched several times. Think about threading a needle, or holding a small creature in the palm of your hands if that helps. Imagine gently taking my hand and then take it,” Alex guides her.

Sam is hesitant at first, but finally her hand falls into Alex’s. “I promise you won’t hurt any of us, Sam. But if you’re ever worried, just think about your strength and the level you intend to use before you do anything. Think of it like a dial. It worked for Kara and it will work for you, I promise.”

Sam nods at Alex, who then pulls her up. She is scared she is gripping Alex’s hand too tightly and attempts to let her go, but Alex keeps a grip on her hand.

“You aren’t hurting me Sam, hold on to me as you need so we can assess if we need PT to get you walking,” Alex instructs.

Alex helps Sam take multiple steps around the room, her steps getting more assured with every foot traveled. Eventually Alex lets her go and Sam is able to travel around the room a few more times alone before she decides to sit back down.

“Looks like you’re completely recovered,” Lena remarks.

“I’d really like to move you to a more comfortable chamber, Sam. Out of the medical bay, into a more private room. Kara and I can take turns training you to control your powers, and the rest of us can monitor you more closely if you’re not stuck in the med bay,” Alex muses.

“If you can figure out a way to transport me safely, I will go where you need me to go. So long as you make sure I am not a threat,” Sam agrees.

“Kryptonite, it’s the weakness of all Kryptonians. Reign was only slightly susceptible to it. But you should only have at most half of her strength,” Lena explains. 

“The kryptonite needles work on her, so we know she’s weakened by it. We just need to figure out how much,” Alex agrees.

“I want to make sure it works before we leave,” Sam tells them.

“We will test it in here before we let you out, okay?” Alex assures her.

Sam nods.

“We are going to arrange with J’onn to have food and whatever you want delivered to you. We will have a DEO agent monitoring you at all times,” Alex informs her, her agent persona shining through until her features fall soft again. “Will you be okay?” Alex wonders.

Sam looks at her and her features soften as well as she nods. “Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

“Ruby wants to say goodbye from the observation room. Can I let her come see you?” Alex asks.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Sam smiles.

Lena tries to ignore the tension in the room between the two of them. She says her goodbyes to Sam and leads Alex out of the containment room. Once everything is secured again, Alex collects Ruby while Lena begins to tell Kara what happened.

“Is my mom going to have to stay locked up,” Ruby asks as she walks along Alex’s side to her mom’s room.

“She wants to remain that way until she knows she is safe,” Alex admits.

“My mom would never hurt me,” Ruby argues.

“Ruby, I know. But, she wants to make sure that she protects you. Sam loves you,” Alex assures her. “You go ahead in and say goodbye, I’ll wait out here.”

Ruby nods and walks through the door into the observation room alone. Sam sits on the bed with her head down, until she hears the door shut. Her head shoots up in response, and when she sees her daughter her face alights with a smile. She rushes toward the glass wall of her holding cell, “Ruby, I- I’ve missed you so much,” Sam says softly, tears forming in her eyes. She remembers trying to conjure the image of her daughter in her brain and failing over and over again. “I’m so, so sorry, for everything I’ve done. All the harm I’ve done. I’m sure you’re terrified of me, but-“

“What, no, Mom?” Ruby stutters, interrupting Sam’s rambling. “I hate Reign for what she did, all the pain she caused, but that wasn’t you. You would never do those things. I know you would never hurt me, Mom,” Ruby asserts.

“I would never hurt you, baby. But-“

“Then come home,” Ruby demands.

“I would never hurt you, but Reign might,” Sam replies, shaking her head as a few tears fall. “I need to be sure she is gone. Alex and the DEO will help me ensure that and then I can come home.”

“I understand,” Ruby admits reluctantly.

Sam smiles at her daughter. “My brave girl,” she says. “How are you doing in school, how is living with Alex?” Sam wonders. This was supposed to be a quick goodbye, but she needs to know Ruby is doing okay.

“Alex is amazing,” Ruby nearly shouts. “She has been helping me with my homework so I’m doing even better in school and we have movie nights and she’s been teaching me self-defense,” Ruby rattles off. “But I miss you, Mom. I can’t wait ‘til you’re home with us.”

Us, Sam wonders in her head. Would Alex continue to live with them if she returned home?

“I love you,” Sam tells her.

“I love you too, Mom,” Ruby replies.

Sam smiles at her and nods. She is so very proud of her daughter. “You should grab Alex so I can talk to her before you head out. I know we’ve already taken up too much time.”

Ruby frowns and begins to head towards the door. When she gets to it she turns back around to her mom one last time. “I love you,” she repeats. “Please do everything you can to come back home,” Ruby pleads.

“I promise, I will,” Sam assures her.

Ruby goes outside and a few moments later Alex walks in. She walks slowly and awkwardly towards the glass, stopping at least three feet away. She’s not sure why this feels weird, it just does after everything that has happened today.

Sam remains up to the glass as close as she can. She notices the space between them and wonders why Alex feels the need to be so far.

“Thank you, for taking care of Ruby. I want to make sure you know how grateful I am for everything,” Sam says softly to her.

Alex looks down and crosses her legs as she nods. She looks the most vulnerable that Sam has ever seen her and she wonders if that’s what’s keeping her from coming closer. 

“You have to know I love watching Ruby, but she needs her mom,” Alex admits.

“She said she can’t wait ‘til I come home to you guys,” Sam laughs. She doesn’t know why she says it. “She might be a little less likely to wish for my speedy recovery when she realizes her favorite babysitter will likely go back to her own life,” Sam says, realizing she’s being self-deprecating.

“If I stuck around, would you be willing to come home now?” Alex asks abruptly, stepping closer toward the glass. “I could monitor you, you wouldn’t have to be locked up and-“

“Alex,” Sam stops her. “I have superhuman abilities I’m not able to control. Regardless of Reign, we need to make sure I’m not a walking wrecking ball. I’m sure when Kara first got here, there were adjustments.”

“You’re right,” Alex laughs, remembering some of Kara’s early mishaps. “I’m just really happy you’re awake,” she smiles.

“I’m really happy you helped me find my way out,” she smiles back. They hold the gentle gaze between them for a few content moments before Sam breaks it. “What’s the plan for making sure Reign can’t do the same?” Sam asks seriously.

Alex nods at the shift towards the elephant in the room. “Tomorrow morning we are going to test kryptonite on you. Lena has the device we used on you when you were Reign, we can dial it down so it doesn’t kill you. If Reign emerges, Lena can easily dial it back up and we can get you two contained again.”

“Are you sure it works?” Sam asks.

“Of course, Lena has improved upon it, just in case,” Alex admits sadly. “I assure you, I will have you out of here as soon as possible,” Alex promises. 

“Alex, you can’t be so sure-“

“No, I am sure. Sam, you are stronger than Reign. Tomorrow, if everything goes to plan, Supergirl wants to have her first training session with you to help you control your powers. We make sure Reign is contained, get your powers under control and then you’re coming home,” Alex informs her.

Sam is thankful for all of Alex’s high hopes, but she’s worried she won’t meet her expectation. How do you admit that you’re terrified of yourself, of your own mind?

She nods regardless and agrees for now. She knows she should remain positive, but that technique has never gone her way. “When can I see Ruby again?” She asks.

“How about Sunday?” Alex suggests. “Maybe even face to face with the kryptonite-“

“Don’t push it, Danvers,” Sam retorts.

Alex shakes her head and laughs. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she promises as she heads to the door.

“Alex,” Sam stops her right before she leaves, and the redhead turns back towards her. “I can’t thank you enough for taking care of Ruby.”

“I love taking care of her, but thank me by working on getting better, Sam. We will call it even then,” she says, smiling across the room at the brunette.

Sam nods and says “deal,” before Alex finally exits. She sits back down onto the bed and sighs deeply. Us, she thinks again. She’s beginning to wonder if that’s something she wants. 

Her contemplations are interrupted by someone clearing her throat. She smiles when she looks up to find Lena standing in front of the glass.

“How are you feeling?” Lena wonders.

“Amazing for someone who has been in a coma for the last five months,” Sam laughs as Lena grimaces at her attempt at humor.

“Is there anything I can get you to make sure you’re comfortable?” She asks her friend.

“I am really not sure,” she replies sadly.

“If you could have food from any restaurant right now, what would you get?” Lena questions.

Sam thinks about it and smiles. “Oh my gosh, pad thai from the Thai Palace for sure,” she practically moans out.

Lena types in her phone for a few moments before putting it away. “Done,” she smiles before taking a seat cross-legged on the floor. 

“What are you doing,” Sam wonders.

“We haven’t had a girls’ night in over five months,” She explains. “Sit, we are having a mini girls’ night right now.”

“But what about Kara?” Sam wonders.

“What about her?” Lena asks.

“I heard Alex call her your girlfriend earlier. She’s still injured from what I did to her. You should be with her, helping her heal,” Sam explains.

“Sam, you didn’t do anything to Kara, Reign did. And besides, her sister has sentenced her to a night under the sun lamps and you know how Alex can be,” Lena chuckles.

“Yeah,” Sam intones softly, a small smile developing on her face. Lena doesn’t miss a second of it.

“It seems I’m not the only one that has a thing for a Danvers,” Lena jokes.

“What? I do not!” Sam practically shouts. 

“Oh, come on. Sam, you were practically drooling just now,” Lena laughs.

“I was not,” Sam defends.

“Was too,” Lena shoots back, giggling. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Alex is a catch and Ruby basically worships the ground she walks on.”

“She deserves better than an emotional mess and a terroristic mass murderer,” Sam bemoans.

“Sam, you are nothing of the sort. I promise, I won’t let Reign take over again,” Lena whispers.

“A lot of you are making promises that can’t be kept,” Sam notes.

“We love you, Sam. We will do whatever we can to make sure you are okay. I want my best friend back. Alex has been unbelievably lost and different since you’ve been gone. Ruby misses you so much sometimes, you can tell she’s aching. She acts strong, Sam, but she’s still a kid. All of this matters. You are so important and loved by us, and that is what makes you strong. That is what you have that Reign doesn’t have, and because of that, I know you will always defeat her,” Lena states seriously before her phone buzzes.

Sam looks up at her intently and nods lightly. She almost believes it.

“That’s the food, Winn is bringing it. Let’s eat and talk about lighter stuff. Ask me anything you want to know about what you’ve missed. Let’s just not bring up Reign,” Lena suggests.

Sam nods and moves toward the slot to retrieve the food from Lena.

They eat, and talk for a couple of hours. About Ruby’s soccer matches. The one game that Alex coached where a few single moms hit on her. Lena makes sure to note the angry blush that peppers Sam’s cheeks during that story.

Lena talks about how her and Kara finally admitted their feelings for each other and have been together since a few days before the fight between Reign and Supergirl.

She tells Sam how she ultimately cared for Ruby as her godmother. But with Kara out, Alex was working less on missions and more on healing her sister. Lena knew Alex would never leave the DEO if she didn’t have a reason. And, with her CFO out, Lena now had to go back to managing L Corp., while continuing to help James steer CatCo. Plus, it was a good decision for the both of them. Ruby and Alex both needed each other. 

Sam is thankful for how much care Lena has for her and her daughter, and even Alex. She knows Alex isn’t Lena’s biggest fan. But, Alex has no idea how much Lena cares for her. She has no doubt that as soon as the redhead begins to trust Lena, they will be the best of friends.

When they are all talked out, Lena wishes her a good night and promises to see her tomorrow.

When Sam is alone, she can’t help but mourn everyone she has killed, again. Getting lost in all the memories she has gained since absorbing Reign, she cries herself to sleep.


	2. Renew

After finishing her morning routine and rushing Ruby off to school, Alex immediately heads to the DEO to start on Sam’s rehabilitation. She walks through the doors and goes right to preparing everything for Sam’s testing and move today. 

She makes sure the holding room they have for Sam is comfortable and even grabbed a few things from home she knows she will enjoy: her favorite throw, a few books she was planning to read, a current newspaper (after ensuring it bore no mention of Reign), and a couple of the brunette’s favorite snacks. She doesn’t think about how little of this information Ruby needed to supply. She doesn’t wonder how she knows so much about Sam’s habits just from the few nights she spent studying her.

When she’d done every thing she can think of, she decides to talk with Sam until Lena arrives with the inhibitor.

She heads toward the medical bay and finds Sam still in bed but awake. She looks terrible, like she barely slept all night. Alex feels incredibly guilty for having left her alone with her demons.

“Did you get any sleep?” Alex worries.

Sam raises her head and shakes it before laying back down. “I just can’t get it out of my head, Alex. It’s all there. All those people, it’s in my head. I remember everything, the prison, the subway station, CatCo. I almost killed Kara, twice. I’m so sorry. And you-“

“Sam,” Alex tries to interrupt.

“No,” She stops her. “I hurt you. I almost killed you. What would I have done if I did?” She is crying again, this time tears flow freely. Alex wonders if they have stopped all night.

Alex wants to go into the room and hold Sam. Assure her it’s alright and prove to her that she is still human. But she knows releasing the security on Sam would put her in even more distress. She figures the only thing she can do is talk.

“One time, Kara was accidentally exposed to this form of Kryptonite called Red K. It’s turns you into a dark and bitter person, someone who makes good on every terrible thought and says every terrible thing that comes to mind.” Sam is still crying but Alex sees that she is listening. She walks over and sits on the floor in front of Sam’s bed on the other side of the chamber wall and continues.

“She threw Cat Grant off of the CatCo. building. She eviscerated me, told me every terrible thing she could think of, made me feel awful. She broke my arm in a fight, she hurt me too. The worst part is that everything she did was just an overmagnification of all the little nagging feelings she had about us. They all had a basis, even if they were just minute in her mind, they made themselves feel large. I have never seen Kara so broken as the day we released her from the Red K and she recalled what she had done. I don’t think I’d seen anybody that broken,” She pauses for a moment before adding “until you woke up yesterday.”

Sam sniffles at that and shakes her head. “What I did is so much worse,” Sam sobs. “I can never be forgiven.”

“Sam, just like you, Kara had no control of herself and did terrible things. Actually, even worse so, she actually felt those thoughts. She hurt me, physically and emotionally. But I forgave her, because I love her. I didn’t let her off the hook. We had to work through a lot, but we are stronger for it. You can’t live in the misery of your past, especially the parts you can’t control. You had no control over Reign and there is no getting over the pain she caused if you don’t work to move passed it. Work towards making up for it, Sam. Work towards forgiveness. You can’t give up,” Alex encourages her, raising from the floor.

Sam wipes her eyes and attempts to curb her tears but they still fall from time to time. She sits up and looks down before whispering, “okay.”

“Okay?” Alex wonders and Sam nods lightly. “Okay, so today we use the inhibitor and get your brain looked at. I’ve also got a new room set up for you-“

“Alex I need to stay secure,” Sam reminds her.

“And you will be just as secure, I promise. But you will also be more comfortable,” Alex assures her.

“If we can ensure that I will be contained, I will do whatever you need Alex,” she sighs.

Alex smiles at her for finally agreeing to something.

“And that’s what I am here to do,” Lena announces, interrupting the snarky comment Alex had planned on making. Kara has followed her in as well. “I enhanced a few things on the inhibitor just to be sure it could control someone with twice the power of Reign. Sam, it is foolproof,” She promises.

“I can’t be sure until we test it,” Sam groans, getting up and stepping towards the exchange slot. 

“Sam, I need to warn you,” Kara halts her for a moment. “I’m not sure how much you remember of how Kryptonite felt to Reign. The inhibitor is a little less painful, but It isn’t pleasant. I need you to be aware of what you are about to do.” Kara says seriously.

“I will do whatever it takes to get home to Ruby,” Sam replies confidently.

Alex smirks at that. She knows Sam will be okay, just by the love she has for Ruby. She knows that is what saved Sam’s soul, and what will continue to do so. She has no doubt that Sam is stronger than Reign and something in her swells at the thought. 

“Okay,” Lena exhales in agreement. “I’m going to give you the inhibitor and this device that monitors your grip strength in pounds of pressure. I’m going to start you off at sixty percent of the amount necessary to weaken Kara to human strength.”

“Okay,” Sam nods firmly, retrieving the items from the other side of the chamber.

“Place the inhibitor on your right temple. I am going to count to three and then turn it on. Give me a verbal or a visual signal if it’s too much, and I will turn it off immediately. If you feel fine, we will have you give the monitor the tightest squeeze you can with your dominant hand. When we get you to delivering about 80 pounds of pressure your power should equal that of a human’s,” Lena explains.

“Sounds easy enough,” Sam replies. She places the device on her temple and stands up tall. She takes a breath and nods her head.

Lena counts to three and turns the device to the desired level.

Lena tells her to squeeze the monitor and it immediately crumbles in Sam’s hands. Lena’s jaw drops.

“Couldn’t you have gotten an industrial strength one, Lena?” Alex chuckles when it completely disintegrates under Sam’s strength. She misses the cringe and disappointed look on Sam’s face.

“That device can handle over 5000 pounds of pressure,” Lena exclaims in awe.

Finally, Alex’s and Kara’s jaws join Lena’s on the floor. Kara’s strength would be only at about 1200 pounds at this point, well within the range of the meter.

“Are you sure that is sixty percent of the amount necessary to weaken Supergirl?” Alex scoffs.

“Of course, I am not some twit,” Lena bites back. “She must be stronger than Kara,” She wonders, looking towards her girlfriend.

“Reign kicked my butt every time, I wouldn’t put it past her being that strong. Let’s up it to a hundred,” She encourages.

“Sam-“

“Let’s do it,” Sam agrees before Alex can say more than just her name.

Lena supplies her with a new monitor and they try again.

The same result occurs.

They continue this route several times, Lena is on her fifth and final monitor and Sam is already at 200 percent inhibition.

“This is the last shot, or I need to build a few more monitors,” Lena notes.

“Go to 280 percent,” Sam demands.

“Sam, that might be too much,” Alex tries to stop her.

“I don’t care,” Sam replies.

“Kryptonite has a lag effect,” Kara chimes in. “Once we reach the amount that will affect you, each additional amount will exponentially deplete-“

“I don’t care,” Sam repeats. I will warn you if it’s too much and we can easily dial down.”

Lena looks to Kara and Alex for a moment before shrugging. “She is right,” She notes.

“Lena, you don’t know how it feels,” Kara says sorrowfully. “It really isn’t pleasant even at small exposure.”

Lena takes her hand and nods. “I know, but she wants closure now. I will turn it off immediately if it’s too much. I won’t let it kill her.”

Kara doesn’t look so sure but she squeezes Lena’s hand and nods in agreement.

Alex can’t look when Lena says three.

It’s quiet for far too long in Alex’s mind, though it truly is only a second before Lena sighs and asks Sam to squeeze the device.

It registers at 500 pounds of pressure.

At 300 percent, the monitor reads 80 pounds and they all seem to celebrate except for Sam.

“Keep going,” She demands.

“Sam, we have you at the strength of the average female at your age. It worked,” Lena explains, thinking Sam is confused.

“I want to be as strong as a weak human, not an average one,” Sam tells her.

“I don’t think that is necessary,” Kara replies.

“I think it is,” Sam says. “I need to be sure. Let me be sure,” she pleads.

“Sam, doing this will exhaust you, weaken you beyond belief. Without the sun, this could even cause you to solar flare over time,” Alex warns her.

“Alex, please,” she begs, looking directly into the redhead’s eyes. “You know I need to be sure.”

Tears pool in her eyes as she nods her head. “We won’t do this to you permanently, Sam. We aren’t trying to torture you.”

“I will endure whatever I need to, to ensure Ruby is safe,” She replies.

“No, Alex is right. We will only do this for today. After we have done tests and assured you, you are fine, we will release you back to this level,” Lena challenges her. She cannot agree to reduce Sam’s strength to that of a hundred-year-old woman.

“Fine,” Sam agrees begrudgingly.

In the end, they settle on 315 percent inhibition.

Alex notices that Sam is barely standing, that she looks like she’s dead on her feet. The brunette wobbles a bit before going over and sitting down on her bed.

They squabble a bit more about lowering the level just a little, but Sam holds them to the deal.

They end up having to relegate Sam to a wheelchair, because she is too weak to walk to the radiology lab.

Alex wants to continue to push the subject, but decides to give in to Sam’s wishes.

They run every test imaginable now that her brain is active again. Countless brain scans, MRIs, CTs, ENGs, etc. Anything to measure any and all brain activity.

“Everything is clear,” Lena sighs after going over all of the scans with Alex for a sixth time. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Nothing?” Sam wonders with a scoff.

“We know you’re Kryptonian via the DNA sequencing we’ve ran on you every week since you entered the coma. Your brain should function almost exactly as Kara’s. I am starting to work on technology to dive deeper into the brain, but until that is complete, this is the furthest we can look,” Lena explains.

“But, Sam woke up due to stimulus,” Alex supplies.

“What kind?” Lena questions.

“Ruby’s voice, and her touch,” Sam answers.

“Were there any commonalities before each of your blackouts? A common factor that could point to a stimulus to awaken Reign?” Lena wonders.

“I- no, not that I can recall,” Sam replies, wracking her brain to the last thing she can remember each time she became Reign. She finally falls on one thing. “Pain or danger. I got shot at that press event, I once stuck my hand in boiling water, and I bent that beam in front of Ruby. All of those times, pain or a danger to myself was present and Reign took over for self-preservation.”

“That is excellent,” Lena muses, while Alex’s and Kara’s heads both shoot towards her, both holding a confused and worried expression.

“How is that good news?” Alex wonders, hoping Lena doesn’t plan to harm Sam.

“Pain is a strong feeling and an easy one to manipulate. If we induce pain and Sam’s brain scans still appear normal, that could be proof that Sam has her contained,” Lena explains.

“Lena, you can’t be suggesting what I think you are,” Kara says, shaking her head in disapproval.

“Do whatever it takes,” Sam replies.

“This is ludicrous, there has to be another way,” Alex tries to reason.

“This seems like the most plausible effort,” Lena admits. “self-preservation is second-nature to any life form. If we induce a need for it, and Reign still doesn’t emerge, she may be contained for good.”

“What you are talking about is bringing Sam to the verge of death all for the chance to hint at whether Reign may be constrained,” Alex argues.

“I would never risk my friend’s life, Agent,” Lena barks at Alex.

She looks at Lena, appalled at her lack of empathy. Kara looks just as concerned. She turns to reason with Sam.

“Sam, this could kill you. What about Ruby?” Alex questions.

“I am doing this for Ruby,” Sam replies sternly.

“How is this for Ruby if you kill yourself?” Alex asks bitterly.

“I would rather be dead than risk my daughter’s life continuing to harbor a world killing, terrorist that could potentially kill her and you and everyone else I love,” Sam argues back. Her chest heaves with exhaustion as she attempts to catch her breath. Ironically, she doesn’t look forward to being a hundred years old.

Alex can’t believe what she’s hearing. She can’t believe how much Sam has given up, how sure she is that there is no hope she could be Reign on her own. “I refuse to watch or be a part of this,” Alex replies, heading toward the door, stopping in front of Lena. “Don’t fuck this up, whether she likes it or not I am not letting her leave Ruby an orphan,” Alex says sternly to Lena, before continuing out of the room.

On the other side of the door she processes everything and lets the emotions hit her. She doesn’t know why she feels like this. She thinks it’s just because she can’t bear the thought of telling Ruby that her mother was killed by the woman who is practically her aunt. 

She tries not to think about the fact that Sam said she loved her. Alex doesn’t dare let herself think how Sam loving her makes her feel, even as just a friend. She doesn’t wonder if Ruby isn’t the only reason she cares so deeply about Sam. She doesn’t dare allow herself to think anything other than Samantha Arias better get herself together before Alex has to set her straight.

She ends up in the gym, laying into a punching bag while she tries to consider every single aspect of this situation that has her pissed off and work each one out from there.

She starts with the old guilt. The thoughts of how she should have realized sooner. The sorrow that they never were able to find a way to expel Reign for good. The fear that, that impotence is the very reason Sam is now in this very spot.

She moves on to Sam. The stubborn brunette reminds her so much of Ruby. She fully understands where the younger Arias gets her attitude, strength, and resilience from. She lands extra punches in addition to her rhythms, syncopating her anger into every blow. How dare that woman be so selfish and incorrigible.  
Finally, she lands on Lena. Lena who has said yes to every dangerous request Sam has made. Lena who just wants to prod and experiment on Sam. Lena who refuses to talk any sense into Sam. She lands an especially hard blow at the end of that thought. Where does the woman get off?

“Hey,” J’onn interrupts her Lena fueled attack. 

“What,” Alex barks unintentionally.

“I noticed you’re a little frustrated and I figured I’d try to talk it through with you,” he replies casually.

“You read my mind,” she states knowingly.

“I can’t really help it when you’re basically screaming inside your own head,” he chuckles.

“Well, you know why I’m mad. What’s your advice?” Alex asks. She knows for all it is worth, J’onn has one of the most rational minds she’s had the pleasure of learning from. She trusts him with her life.

“My advice?” He wonders for a moment and collects his thoughts. “Right now we are focusing on diagnostics. Unfortunately, it has gone in an unconventional way. However, Sam and Lena are consenting adults. They have a right to proceed through these diagnostics any way Sam feels fit.”

“Even if Lena is biased and Sam has a suicide wish?” Alex wonders.

“it is their choice, so I still must say yes to that. Alex, you are ignoring the bigger picture. Lena is trying to do whatever it takes to reassure and save her friend and Sam is willing to die to ensure everyone is safe from her. They too are not wrong in their feelings,” J’onn explains.

“They aren’t thinking with Ruby in mind,” Alex argues.

“They would argue they are,” J’onn replies. “Regardless, I do agree this is the wrong way to go about this.”

“You do?” Alex asks, surprised.

“Yes. Finding out the status of Reign is not the most pertinent question. It is, if Reign still exists and can get free, how do we control her? And I believe we already have the answer to that,” he muses. 

“And that would be?” She asks.

“Sam,” he chuckles in response. “She is the one who defeated Reign. The one who locked her away deep into her mind and found her way out. She is stronger than Reign. So much so that Reign may never find her way out even without strengthening her mind. While Sam is here, my father and I can teach her some techniques; ones similar to meditation here on Earth. They will strengthen her mind, further expand and convolute the apexes of the brain. Through this, she can keep Reign lost within her mind for as long as she lives.”

“Then why are you letting them do this to her?” She questions angrily. “If you have a way to solve this, why not say anything before they risk her life?”

“I have read Ms. Arias’s thoughts a lot. She needs reassurance before she can learn. First, Lena must prove Reign is contained. Then we teach Sam to continue to contain her so she never need worry about facing her. I realize the danger, but I trust Lena. You need to as well one day, as Kara will need that from you if she chooses to spend her life with her.” He leaves her with those words as he heads out just as Kara enters cautiously.

They smile at each other as they pass. Kara stops at the door and mumbles a “hey” at Alex. She crosses her arms passively and tries to judge if Alex has cooled off.

“Hey,” Alex mimics back softly.

“I just wanted to tell you Sam is done for the day. She’s fine, just resting in the new chamber,” Kara informs her.

“How is she? How did it go?” She asks impatiently.

“Lena devised that we electrocute her, it would fry her nerves and free up an easy way out if Reign was active. We went up to what Lena calculated would be the max voltage she could theoretically handle at her current state. We made sure we had sunlamps on and Lena made me hold on to the inhibitor. If she coded, Lena was confident restoring her full Kryptonian power would save her,” Kara explains. “We were safe, Alex. You have to know Lena only wants the best for Sam as well,” she pleads attempting to build a common ground between the two of them.

“What did you find?” she demands, ignoring her sister’s plea. 

“Nothing conclusive. We delivered the highest voltage Lena would allow. Reign never emerged or showed signs,” Kara shrugs. “Sam is resting now; she’s pretty worn out.”

“I’m going to see how she is,” Alex states before heading towards Sam’s room. She doesn’t expect to run into Lena halfway there.

“Hey,” Lena starts as she gets closer. “She’s waiting for you, but I’d like to talk first.”

“Can it wait?” Alex asks, impatient as ever to make sure Sam is ok, for Ruby’s sake of course.

“I’d rather it didn’t,” she says crossing her arms.

Alex sighs and relaxes for a moment. She tries to remember what J’onn said and give Lena the benefit of the doubt. “Go ahead,” she relents.

“I know how much you care about Sam, Alex. I don’t need to know in what fashion, but I see it in your face how deeply you feel for her. Sometimes, our emotions can cloud our judgements-“

“And sometimes your desire to prod and experiment can cloud yours,” she bites back before Lena can finish her sentence.

“Alex, I care about Sam,” Lena replies tensely.

“Enough to not let your ego get in the way?” She taunts.

“She is my best friend,” Lena nearly shouts, tears brimming her eyes. “How dare you to question me on whether or not I have the closest person in my life’s best interests at heart. I love Sam and Ruby with everything I have and I will do whatever it takes to keep them safe. I have known Sam all my life. I know she’s stubborn as hell and I know what it will take to prove to her everything you, and I, and everyone else already knows.” 

She is shaking as she speaks and Alex is taken aback a moment before she backs down. “I’m sorry. I know that. Of course I know that, I just- I don’t want her to get hurt any more than she has. She’s not thinking straight and I was mad that you were encouraging her thoughts.”

“Sam knows what’s at stake more than all of us,” Lena replies. “Give her credit. It’s why she’s being even more stubborn than usual.”

“I’ll try,” Alex nods, relenting all fight left within her. Lena smiles at her and encourages her towards Sam’s room.

When Alex gets in, she finds Sam resting on her bed. She looks weak and tired and Alex finds herself angry again at the thought of what she’s been through today.

She walks up to the glass and peers at Sam for a few minutes before the brunette feels her presence.

Sam opens her eyes slowly and blinks a few times before a smile dawns her face. “Hi,” she whispers, her voice dry and laced with exhaustion.

“Hi,” Alex smiles fondly back.

“I’m alive,” she jokes.

“Barely, it seems. Have they reduced the percentage on the inhibitor?” Alex asks, wondering why she is still so weak.

Sam shakes her head. “I convinced them down to 310,” she groans out.

Alex tries to remain calm no matter how much she wants to tell Sam how stupid that is. She sighs loudly and doesn’t say anything before disarming Sam’s room.

“What are you doing?” Sam panics as Alex walks in.

“What is the sense of all of these locks and barriers when you look like you’re on your death bed?” Alex says releasing an exasperated sigh as she walks closer to her bed. 

“You shouldn’t be in here, Alex. I could hurt you,” Sam warns.

“I’m not so sure,” Alex replies bitterly. “We had a deal, Sam. The tests were promising and J’onn is sure he has a way to ensure Reign will not emerge. You are not doing anyone any favors by making us keep you in this state.”

“What is J’onn’s plan?” She asks, coughing between words. Alex grabs a glass of water and forces the brunette to drink.

“He wants to teach you methods to strengthen your mind, continue to build upon the cage trapping Reign,” Alex summarizes.

“We can’t be sure that will work,” Sam denies. “What if she outsmarts me, or overpowers me?”

“Sam, you have already shown you are stronger than her. This is the closest thing we have to a solution right now. We can continue diagnosing the extent in which Reign remains, while training you to control your mind and your powers,” Alex explains.

“Until I am sure-“

“What if Ruby wants to see you?” Alex asks, her impatience growing. “Do you want her to see you like this?”

“I’d rather not see her until-“

“Sam, that isn’t fair to her,” Alex cuts in again.

“I don’t care about fair, I care about my daughter’s safety,” Sam replies as sternly as possible in her weakened state. 

Alex growls and then sighs. She pushes Sam’s legs aside and plops unto the bed angrily. Personal space be damned; she needs to find a way to get through to the stubborn woman. She puts her head into her hands for a few moments and tries to gather herself.

She looks at Sam sadly and tries to appeal to her once more. “You are locked in one of the most technologically advanced holding cells on the planet, you are currently wearing an inhibitor that can deliver enough Kryptonite to kill you, and you are surrounded by dozens of highly trained agents and Supergirl at almost all times. You are secure, Sam. I need you to trust me on that.”

“Of course I trust you, Alex,” she replies. “It’s myself that I don’t trust.”

“Sam, our deal was to release you back to human strength once you were cleared,” Alex reminds her.

“But I haven’t been cleared,” Sam argues.

“You are the most stubborn woman I have ever met,” Alex growls. “Do you only care about yourself and your feelings?” Alex tries to sound angry but the last words come out wrapped around a sob.

Sam feels guilty immediately. Alex is not someone she would expect to see cry, and now she’s realizing she’s seen it more times than she’d like. Almost every time, she regretfully recalls, having occurred while she was Reign.

“I’m sorry,” Sam pleads, taking Alex hand.

“I wish you’d stop apologizing,” Alex sighs in response, wiping her eyes. “Please, Sam, let us drop the power just 10 percent. You will still be weak, but not too weak to perform normal tasks.” She tries one final time to plea with Sam.

“I can’t risk it,” Sam repeats.

“If you continue to stay this weak, you will never progress. You will not have the energy to train with Supergirl to ensure that you can safely navigate with your powers. You will not have the energy to train with J’onn. Any tests we perform on you will be killing you slowly, as all the energy you expend is your life force leaving you. For your health, for my sanity and for Ruby’s sake, please let us turn it down.” Alex begs. She’s looking into Sam’s eyes, holding her hand and pleading with every ounce of energy she has left in her. “Let us all see you grow into this state over the next 70 years.”

She blinks back a few tears. “I’m scared,” she admits softly.

Alex fights the urge to hug Sam. She looks so broken and fragile and Alex just wants to hold her together. Instead she squeezes her hand encouragingly. “I know. But we will all do whatever it takes to keep you and Ruby safe, Sam. You just need to trust us.”

Sam nods her head and appears to relent. “You can lower the inhibitor to 300 percent,” Sam sighs. “But, I need you to leave and enable all the security controls again. I also want a guard in here at all times with the control.”

Alex nods, knowing Sam could have worse demands. She is happy Sam is willing to reason with her. She gets up and gives Sam’s hand a gentle and grateful squeeze. “I’ll grab Lena and Kara,” she says, trying to contain her relief.

She leaves the room and reinstates the security systems. She leaves and returns with Lena and Kara after a few minutes.

Upon entering the room, Lena immediately releases ten percent power on the inhibitor and Sam feels worlds better in seconds. Alex presses a button on the wall and a small sun lamp above the bed turns on.

“I’d like that off,” Sam shakes her head, rising to sit on the edge of her bed. She notices how much easier the movement is with just the reduction of ten percent on the inhibitor. She tries not to think of how that compares to the other 300 percent. She tries not to correlate the fact that she is somehow almost three times as strong as Supergirl and could easily hurt or kill everyone she loves watching her from the adjacent room with a hug.

“It will help you regain your energy,” Alex argues.

“I don’t want to regain power, Alex. I let you lower the Kryptonite, I did not ask to be healed. The weaker I am, the better,” she explains.

Alex nods and turns off the lamp. She shakes her head at how insufferable the woman is. She doesn’t know why she keeps trying. 

“How do you feel?” Lena asks.

“Stronger,” Sam replies. “It worries me.”

“Your strength is not the enemy, Sam. I can teach you how to control it,” Kara replies.

“How?” Sam wonders.

“Using the same techniques I used when I was learning to control my powers,” Kara replies. “In time, when you feel comfortable with not inhibiting your powers, we can work on a few things.”

“What is the plan going forward?” Sam inquires. “I need to know what I am facing.”

Lena and Kara share glances and a nod before Lena begins to speak. “We need to test other stimuli on you to see if it garners any reaction that could indicate if Reign is still present within your mind.”

“How do we plan to do that?” She questions warily.

“Well, we need to stimulate strong emotions that may entice Reign to reveal herself. She didn’t react to pain, but she may respond to fear, or extreme anger, possibly even a need for self-defense. We will need to manipulate your emotions,” Lena explains.

“So what will we be doing?” Sam continues to wonder.

“Well, I know something that sometimes makes me extremely angry and puts my self-defense skills to the test,” Kara chuckles. “That is sparring with Alex, which is what we will have you doing with a special brain monitor Lena is working on.”

“What?” Both Sam and Alex ask in shock.

“Alex, we both know you are the best at teaching technique and developing people via sparring. You’re how I learned everything I know. Plus, you’re a huge instigator,” Kara chuckles.

“Am not,” Alex denies.

“Are too,” Kara shoots back. “It’s going to be frustrating the first time you go against Alex and that may be enough to draw forth Reign. Plus, it will teach you how to protect yourself, Sam. Alex will teach you the right way to fight and defend. You will need to know this as part of gaining control of your powers and your strength.”

“I don’t feel comfortable fighting Alex,” Sam says wearily. “I can easily hurt her with my powers. And what if Reign does emerge?”

“We will have Lena observing and you will keep your inhibitor on to at least 280 percent,” Kara responds. “Think about it. We don’t have to do it tomorrow, or even this week. But this is a solid plan.”

“Okay,” Sam nods.

“When you are comfortable lowering the inhibitor, I will begin your strength training,” Kara reiterates, hoping to press into Sam’s head that she will have to face her powers sooner or later or she will not progress.

“I don’t know if I will ever feel comfortable with that,” Sam replies regretfully. She stares down at her lap for a moment before looking back up toward the three of them. “Nothing you are saying will ensure Reign can’t get out.”

“We will start your training with J’onn immediately,” Alex says. “His techniques will strengthen the control you have over your mind. When you feel like you can control Reign, we can progress towards working on your powers,” she says hoping to assure Sam. She knows the brunette isn’t going to feel comfortable with the idea of having her powers back overnight. This is something they will have to wear Sam down on, and to do that Alex knows they have to make her feel comfortable.

“Okay,” Sam agrees. 

“J’onn will join you later for your first session and we will go from there,” Alex tells her, receiving a nod from the brunette. 

“Get some rest,” Lena adds.

“Alex has selected Agent Vasquez to look over you this afternoon,” Kara explains. “She will alert us if you need anything.”

“Thank you, for everything. I don’t know what would have happened to me if I didn’t have you guys,” Sam says, adoration and relief framing her face.

“We love you, Sam,” Kara replies. “Just trust that we will do everything possible to help you and that we always have your best interests at heart.”

Sam nods at her and Kara smiles before taking Lena’s hand and heading out of the room, Alex follows a few moments later after saying goodbye to Sam. 

Alex looks over the data Lena and Kara collected on Sam today and they discuss more planning and training. Lena and Winn go over plans to enhance a brain monitor to be able to see activity deeper in the brain. 

After hours of strategizing, the entire team is confident of their way forward regardless of the outcome.

Alex feels assured that Sam will be safe and home as soon as she lets them lower her inhibitor. She decides to check in on Sam and see if J’onn’s training helped. 

When he sees where Alex is heading, Winn tries to follow, but Lena laughs as she pulls him back by the collar and shakes her head. Kara giggles as well as Winn remains confused for a moment until he realizes why and joins in.

Alex finds Sam sitting on the floor meditating when she walks in. J’onn has left her to continue to train on her own. She looks over the brunette and finally sees the first calm look she has seen on her face since she awoke. She is thankful J’onn was able to bring some peace to Sam.

She sits on the floor in front of her and waits.

The brunette never opens her eyes, but she eventually speaks. “He taught me how to build upon my mind, how to actually delve within my mind, and build upon it’s vastness with my thoughts,” Sam explains, continuing her meditation.

“How do you feel?” Alex wonders.

Sam smiles and finally ends her pose. “Like I might have a chance,” she replies.

“Yeah?” Alex asks through a large grin. “That’s good,” she says, relief flooding her voice.

“I still want the security while I continue to train with J’onn,” Sam says and notices Alex deflate a little. “I know that’s not what you want to hear, Alex. I promise when I feel like I absolutely have control, I will let you guys dial the inhibitor down so we can train and continue to test for Reign.”

Alex doesn’t like it, but she knows Sam is being rational so she nods her agreement.

“I think I can sustainably keep her out, though,” Sam exclaims hopefully. “I can keep her trapped, but I want to be sure.”

“I understand,” Alex replies. “I believe in you, though. And I think that in whatever instance you stack yourself up against Reign, you will win. Okay?”

Sam hears the confidence in her voice and the emotions swell within her as she just as intensely replies “okay.”

They share a look that contains so much promise and affection before Sam finally breaks it.

“Besides, we will just keep saying that’s why instead of what you’re really scared of,” Alex says, while crossing her arms.

“And what would that be?” Sam wonders.

“You’re scared of me kicking your but in this sparring Kara has planned for us,” Alex tells her confidently, earning a chuckle from the woman.

She looks down at her lap a moment and breaks the moment before speaking. “How’s Ruby?”

“She’s great, Sam,” Alex smiles. “She misses you like crazy. Lena and I have been helping her with school, but it’s not like she needs much. She’s just as smart as her mom,” Alex smiles toward the brunette.

“She’s doing great in soccer. One of the best forwards on her team, according to Lena she gets that from her mom as well,” Alex is now smirking as she says this. Sam doesn’t need to know that she has a thing for soccer players. But when Lena let that slip, Alex had filed that info away in hopes of one day seeing pictures of Sam in her college soccer kit. 

“I wasn’t bad,” Sam shrugs, with a laugh.

“I can’t believe you never told me you played. I’d been to how many of Ruby’s soccer games and you never once mentioned it. I’ll have to check out your skill one day Ms. Arias, I was a defender,” Alex replies smugly.

Sam grins at her. “Noted,” she laughs out.

Alex smiles for a moment before getting back to Ruby. “So, anyways, Ruby went to a birthday party today, and then she is staying the night at Sara’s house.”

“So you’re off the hook tonight?” Sam wonders. “Gonna go out on the town?” She’s asking for selfish reasons and she knows it.

“More like go to my bed. I cherish the moments I get the home to myself,” Alex chuckles.

“Right, it’s like I love Ruby and she is by no means a lot of work, but when she’s gone it is somehow blissful. Then I miss her like halfway through the night and it’s not so blissful. Is it weird that I miss both of those feelings as much as I miss Ruby?”

“Not at all. You miss your old life and even the hum drum parts of it,” Alex sighs, understanding Sam completely. “Can I bring Ruby in tomorrow to see you?” Alex wonders.

“I don’t think I should do that so soon,” Sam replies wearily.

“What if I work out an early session with J’onn and you feel comfortable?” Alex asks.

Sam thinks about it for a moment but realizes agreeing to think on it wouldn’t hurt. She nods her head and Alex beams at her.

They talk a while longer about Ruby, their prior game nights, Sam’s college soccer days and whatever else they land on. 

Finally, Alex decides it is time they both get some rest. She wishes Sam goodnight and heads home, a smile never leaving her face until she falls asleep. 

Sam spends the evening meditating just as J’onn taught her. When she awakens several times in the night, she meditates to try to ease her mind and go back to sleep. It doesn’t lessen her guilt or lessen the number or intensity of her nightmares. But it helps assure her she is keeping Reign at bay, and that’s just enough to let her sleep.

Sam realizes she cannot change the past, but she will do everything in her power to keep Reign from emerging and repeating it. 

J’onn and M’yrnn spend the morning with her and teach her a few techniques to see further into her mind. It’s nearly noon when Alex interrupts the three of them with lunch.

“Kara has your food, guys. I figured Sam could use a break,” Alex tells J’onn as she passes him. He shoots her a knowing grin before shuffling M’yrnn out of the room.

“Just pizza,” Alex says, as she puts a few slices on a plate and slides it through to Sam. 

“I never thanked you for all the stuff you left in here for me,” Sam says. “And now you deliver pizza to me? You’re a goddess, Alex.”

Alex laughs at the irony of it. “I think it is actually the other way around my dear.”

“Yeah,” Sam sighs. “Seriously though, Alex. I mean it. You’ve done so much for me. I don’t know how to thank you.”

“How about you thank me by letting your daughter come and spend some time with you today?” Alex asks hopefully.

Sam sighs. She feels much more confident after another day working with J’onn and that was the agreement. Sometimes she feels like Alex can turn her into putty, and part of that stems from how clearly and openly the agent loves her daughter.

“Okay,” Sam agrees.

“Okay?” Alex asks excitedly.

“Yes, okay,” Sam confirms.

“I’d hug you if I could, Sam,” Alex says happily. “I’m proud of you.” 

Sam smiles at her, just happy to make the redhead happy. The two of them eat and talk for a while before Sam decides to meditate more until Ruby arrives.

When her daughter arrives, she beams, her smile the brightest it’s been since she woke up. It’s only been two days, but she’s missed her daughter so much.

“Hi Rube,” Sam says softly, walking over to the containment wall. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Mom,” Ruby replies, standing on the other side of the wall. “I wish I could hug you.”

“I wish I could too, baby,” Sam replies sadly. “As soon as we are sure it’s safe, Ruby. Hugging you is the first thing I want to do.”

Ruby smiles at her but it isn’t quite full. Sam knows despite finally being awake, this is still hurting Ruby.

“How long will that take, another five months?” Ruby asks bitterly.

“Ruby,” Sam scolds.

“Are you going to miss my graduation?” Ruby wonders.

“I will try my hardest-“

“It’s always soon, I’ll try, if, maybe or whatever unofficial confirmation you can give,” Ruby interrupts her. 

“What do you want from me Ruby? Do you want me to come home and turn into Reign and succeed in destroying the world? Do you want me to accidentally hurt you because I have no control over my powers? I don’t want to be in here, Ruby. I don’t want to be away from you, but I need to protect you,” Sam replies. She sighs and takes a seat on the floor.

Ruby mimics her and rests her chin in her hands. “We just miss you, and want you to come home,” she says softly.

“I know, Rube. I promise you I am trying, honey,” Sam swears to her daughter. She doesn’t miss the use of the word “we.”

“Okay,” Ruby sighs in yielding. “My coach sent me some videos of my last soccer game. Do you want to see? I scored twice!” Ruby says excitedly, pushing her phone up to the glass.

“Wow, Ruby that’s awesome,” Sam exclaims, watching her daughter on the small screen. She wishes she could watch her daughter in person.

“Alex taught me that,” she exclaims pointing to the screen right as she fakes out the player with some footwork and attempts a shot on goal. “I can’t wait until you’re out and then I can have the two greatest moms ever teach me soccer. I’ll be unstoppable,” she shouts excitedly.

“Ruby,” Sam stops her. “Alex isn’t your mom,” she tries to say gently.

“Well no, but right now she’s kind of acting like one. Like yeah she’s fun and cool to hang out with, but she also moms me and tells me to go to bed, or do my homework, or do my chores. And I can’t call her Aunt Alex, because aunt implies that you are sisters and you two are definitely way too into each other to be sisters,” Ruby chuckles not registering the shocked look on her mother’s face.

“Ruby,” Sam practically squeals. She has no idea what to say to that.

“Oh come on, you guys stare at each other with this weird look every time you’re around each other. It’s like you forget there are other people in the room for whole minutes at a time. It can get a little disgusting sometimes,” Ruby says matter-of-factly.

“Oh my God,” Sam exclaims, hiding her horrified face into her hands. “Ruby, please tell me you haven’t had a discussion like this with Alex?” Sam begs.

“Of course not,” Ruby laughs. “I’m not doing all the work for you.”

“How did I raise such a brat?” Sam laughs.

“Alex tells me all the time that I am your child,” Ruby jokes back.

“Yeah, well I think she’s rubbing off on you just a little,” Sam replies, before getting serious. “Ruby, I wish things were as simple as the way you see them. But, I need you not to meddle in Alex and I’s relationship and just let things pan out the way they need to,” Sam tells her.

“Okay,” Ruby agrees reluctantly. “When you’re out, can you and Alex play soccer with me though?” She asks.

“Deal,” Sam replies, grinning at her daughter. Her daughter who is always too smart for her own good.

They continue to talk and play a few games Ruby brought for the two of them on the Nintendo Switch, until Alex comes to retrieve her.

“Thank you for pushing me to do this,” Sam admits as Alex helps Ruby gather her things. She looks over to the brunette and smiles.

They all say their goodbyes and the two of them head out.

Sam thinks through a lot of her and Ruby’s conversations and wills herself to try harder to overcome her fears and get out. She falls asleep to thoughts of a redhead and all of her encouragements.


	3. Uplift

“What percent am I at, Lena?” Sam wonders, eyes trained on Alex from across the sparring mat.

“280 percent,” Lena replies casually.

It’s been eleven days since Sam woke up. Lena has finished the scanner allowing her to dive deeper into Sam’s brain and found no trace of Reign. Sam’s daily trainings with J’onn have assured her of her power over her own brain and so she has been allowing them to lower the inhibitor, which means new training.

“You’re sure I need to do this at a level above human strength?” Sam asks Alex.

“Trust me, she sparred with me at almost full strength before I had formal training, and kicked my butt,” Kara laughs, answering the question.

“Are we just going to keep talking or are we going to get this started?” Alex taunts.

Sam sighs unhappily and raises her fists. She doesn’t even know if she has it in her to try and fight someone, especially Alex. That’s what made Reign and Sam so dichotomous.

“That’s what I thought,” Alex chuckles moving forward. 

“Space your fists out more, more center of body, pull them closer in,” Alex begins shouting instructions at her. “Protect your center, defend against any strike.”

Sam makes the adjustments as Alex continues to advance towards her. She expects to dodge or block a blow when her feet are kicked out from under her and she lands flat on her back with a huff.

“Never lose focus on your opponent,” Alex tells her, while hovering over her prone body. “Anticipate their next move.”

Sam growls and gets herself back together before she stands and faces Alex again.

It continues that way over and over again, Alex noting all of Sam’s weaknesses by exploiting them and taunting the brunette.

Sam lands on her butt or her face. A few times she is pinned against the wall or ends up with her arms in a hold. She takes several blows to the abdomen and many below the knee that quickly reintroduce her to the ground.

Alex bests her in every bout and Lena, Kara and Alex quickly see the anger and frustration rising in Sam.

She goes from defensive stances to attempting to strike. Alex easily thwarts her efforts each time and continues to ground, pin and disable the brunette, all while adding insult to injury.

She calls Sam sloppy and tells her she’s begging to be injured or hurt. Alex insults her precision, her patience and her resolve. She calls her weak and insults Reign along the way.

“Power means nothing if you can’t control it. You cannot rely on strength without technique,” Alex tells her sternly before deflecting a blow and flipping Sam toward the mat. “That’s why even with much more strength, Reign and Supergirl were equally matched.”

She continues to call Sam weak and demands she try harder. Tells her she will never make it out of here to Ruby if she doesn’t try. She goads her attacks and scolds her for letting anger fuel her and cloud her judgement.

“Focus and hit me,” Alex demands as they continue their bout around the mat. Alex continues driving in insults, hoping to piss Sam off enough to prove Reign won’t emerge.

Finally, Sam moves in quickly, and dodges Alex’s attempts to restrain or disable her. She looks skilled for the first time out of dozens of prior attacks. Everything halts as Sam lands a powerful blow to Alex’s jaw.

Alex whips back and falls to her knees as she attempts to recover while Lena and Kara run onto the mat. Sam’s hands go up to her mouth as she gasps, realizes what she’s done and falls to her knees in front of the redhead pleading for forgiveness.

“Alex, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she repeats over and over again. She realizes she has landed a full strength blow to Alex’s face and may have just broken the woman’s jaw. She can’t believe what she’s just done and it was all her. Reign had nothing to do with the harm she just inflicted. She begins to sob as she reaches for Alex, mumbling sorry repeatedly.

Kara and Lena join the pair while trying to get a look at Alex’s jaw to assess the injury.

Lena puts an arm around Sam and tries to quiet her distressing pleas. She reassures her Alex will be fine while Kara removes Alex’s hands from her face.

A loud pop is heard before Alex groans. She moves her jaw in several directions to ensure it’s fine, then she grabs one of Sam’s hands and begins assuring her it’s alright.

“Sam, I am okay,” she tries to console the distraught woman. “You did exactly what I asked. I goaded you into attacking me.”

“I shouldn’t have done that. I should have been able to control myself. I’m no better than Reign,” she cries.

“Sam, I train new recruits all the time and tell them not to hold back. I expect hits like that in the sparring room. You did nothing wrong,” Alex assures her.

“I hurt you again,” Sam replies glumly.

“It’s not any worse than any other sparring injury I’ve had happen to me. I’m okay. I’m better than ok. I’m so proud and happy,” Alex exclaims as she pulls Sam into a hug.

“Happy? I could have broken your jaw,” Sam says, confused how that is anything to be proud of.

“Sam, Alex riled you up enough for you to strike her. You were steaming mad. Did you ever feel as if Reign was going to emerge?” Lena asks.

“No, that’s why I feel so terrible. Striking Alex was all me,” Sam laments.

“That’s why I’m happy Sam. This is further proof that you have control over Reign. This is a big step,” Alex says happily.

“Nothing out of the ordinary appeared on the monitor,” Lena adds. “I think it’s safe to assume she’s gone now, Sam.”

Sam nods at the realization but she still isn’t so sure.

“With all the tests we have performed that have appeared negative and all the training you and J’onn have been through are you confident enough for us to release more power and begin your strength training?” Kara asks.

Sam looks to Lena and Alex who both have pleading expressions on their faces. They have continuously believed in her and she knows they are exhausted by how much effort it has taken to get Sam to trust herself. She knows she hasn’t been easy to deal with.

She doesn’t want to disappoint them anymore. “I’d like that,” Sam replies, never breaking eye contact with Alex as the words leave her mouth. She sees the relief flash across her face and instantly decides it’s worth it.

\----------------------

They decide Sam’s training schedule will include a daily session with Kara. These trainings would fall after J’onn’s to ensure Sam’s hold over her mind was fresh and sharp. Sam would also continue sparring with Alex two mornings a week.

Sam’s first training with Kara falls a few hours after her sparring with Alex.

Alex waits outside of Sam’s room until Kara emerges. The sisters exchange nods before Kara opens the door to let Alex through.

Alex walks in and finds Sam assembling playing card houses in her cell. She tells the agent watching Sam that he can step outside until she leaves. He doesn’t look happy about it but listens to his superior.

Alex walks up to the glass and giggles when Sam huffs after the second layer of cards fall and collapse the whole stack.

“So this is what she decided to start you off with,” Alex chuckles.

“Right?” Sam laughs back before standing and joining Alex on the other side of the glass. “She has me at 180 percent right now,” Sam explains worriedly.

“She did these things when she was learning too,” Alex says softly. “I promise they help.”

They smile at each other for quite a while before Alex speaks again.

“I have something for you,” Alex says.

“You do?” Sam asks, beaming as she says it.

“Yes, but I want to give it to you in person,” Alex tells her.

“Well we will spar again on Wednesday-“

“No I have to give it to you now,” Alex interrupts.

“Alex-“

“I need you to trust me and yourself right now,” Alex cuts her off again as she begins to shut down all security measures holding Sam back. Sam who is at almost the strength of Supergirl.

Sam feels fear bubbling up inside her as Alex enters the room. This is the third time the agent has endangered her life to enter the same space as her. 

“Trust me and trust yourself,” Alex continues to say as she walks through the door and up to Sam. “You won’t hurt me,” she assures her.

Sam stares at her a moment before noticing the purpling of the skin already developing on the redhead’s jaw. She raises her hand to stroke the spot instinctually and resents herself for doing that to Alex. “I already have,” she replies sadly.

Alex grabs her hand and continues to press it towards her jaw and cheek. ”I’m okay,” Alex promises her for what seems like the hundredth time. “You have control,” Alex notes softly and encouragingly. “You aren’t hurting me now. You aren’t too strong or too dangerous.”

Sam sighs deeply before retracting her hand. “I am calm and rational right now, Alex. We cannot be sure I will always be in control when my emotions themselves are not as controlled.”

“You will learn all of that in time, Sam. You can’t keep punishing yourself,” Alex says. She pulls a pair of glasses out of her jacket pocket and steps closer toward the brunette. She fastens them onto Sam’s face and then looks at her triumphantly. “Do those help?” She pushes away the thoughts of how beautiful the brunette looks in glasses.

“Are they supposed to make my vision stronger?” Sam asks, squinting through the lenses as she tests them. 

“No, no. Do they drown out noise, stop you from accidentally using X-ray vision? That must be driving you crazy even at only 200 percent. Focus on those powers and tell me if this hinders them.”

“Alex, I don’t have those powers,” Sam says, confusion lacing her voice.

“What do you mean you don’t have them? You’re Kryptonian,” Alex exclaims. “You just need to focus.”

“I can’t do that. I’ve been focusing for hours with Kara. Practicing patience and steadiness. Before that I focused with you and for hours with J’onn still at 280 percent. My senses never went haywire,” Sam explains.

“So you don’t have all of Kara’s powers?” Alex ponders. “How could that be?”

Sam takes the glasses off and shrugs. “I’m only half Kryptonian.”

Alex realizes why Sam is so much stronger than Kara. Strong may be the only thing she is. “So instead of being half as powerful as Kara, you may have only half as many powers at varying strengths,” Alex muses. 

“Seems like it,” Sam sighs with relief as she hands Alex the glasses back.

“We need to figure out what powers you do and don’t have,” Alex exclaims.

Sam laughs a little and shakes her head. “Not today, Alex. I am actually exhausted even at 180 percent.” She strides over to her bed and takes a seat.

“Prolonged exposure to kryptonite will have a prolonged weakening effect,” Alex explains, following the brunette. She stops about 5 feet from Sam’s bed, giving Sam her space. “I can turn on the sun lamps, they will help.”

“I will just let myself heal naturally,” Sam argues. 

“You probably should get some sun, Sam. Maybe an hour or so, you’ll need it to stay healthy,” Alex tries to convince her.

“Just one hour?” Sam asks.

“One hour,” Alex promises.

Sam stares at her for a moment before nodding her head. “Okay,” she agrees.

Alex grins. She wants to hug the brunette. It’s taken a while but she is finally willing to face her powers and let go of her fears. “I’m so proud of you, Sam. You’re making a huge amount of progress,” Alex says happily.

“Only because you’re so persistent,” Sam replies, rolling her eyes. She gets up from the bed and walks over to Alex. She fears her strength for a moment before she wraps her friend in a tight embrace. “Thank you,” Sam whispers into her neck. Alex never wants to let go.

Sam unfortunately releases her after a few lengthy moments.

The two awkwardly stare at each other until Alex clears her throat and breaks the silence. “Okay, I’m going to pick Ruby up from school. I’ll turn on the lamps and instruct the agent to turn them off in an hour,” Alex says as she leaves Sam’s chamber. 

The brunette just nods and tells her goodbye. “Tell Ruby I love her,” Sam adds.

“Of course,” Alex promises and leaves Sam to heal.

\----------------------

It’s week three of Sam’s constant training schedule. She has finally allowed them turn off the inhibitor key, but Sam refuses to take it off. She also refuses to let them put her in a regular room or let them relieve the guard from his post.

She trusts herself but she’s still not 100 percent sure Reign is gone.

“Ready?” Alex asks and receives a nod from the brunette. She turns the key up to 300 percent and allows for Sam to adjust.

Being free from Kryptonite makes being exposed to it again really uncomfortable. Sam always needs a few moments to adjust, before her and Alex can begin their training.

“Ready,” Sam announces as she rolls her neck and gets into position.

They run through practiced techniques and combinations. Punching, blocking, kicking, dodging and weaving. The two of them practice them in a skilled dance while they warm up.

Sam has been getting much better. She’s bested Alex a few times now and gotten good enough to be evened down back to her partner’s strength. Never has she injured the redhead again. Sam has kept her strength in check and held back slightly whenever she feels herself gain a lead over the woman.

When the two begin to spar, Alex notes instantly that Sam is getting good. She dodges several blows and keeps herself righted after Sam pushes her back several times and gets the best of her. 

She can’t believe how far the brunette has come, opening with the offensive. 

She blocks one blow to the left and another to the right before locking her arm around Sam’s. She attempts to flip her but the brunette holds tight and pulls Alex towards her center of body.

Alex is eye to eye with Sam, before the Kryptonian attempts to kick her leg out from under her and ground her. Alex grabs hold of her and takes her down with her as she tumbles backwards.

Alex lands with a huff as Sam crashes on top of her. Sam groans as she lifts her head back to eye level with the redhead.

They look each other in the eyes for a few moments before Sam begins laughing hysterically. She rests her head in the crook of Alex’s neck, puffing warm air onto the agent’s shoulder in between fits of giggles.

Alex notes the arousal she feels holding the woman on top of her, but she attempts to tamp it down. She definitely tries to ignore Sam’s thigh pressing between her legs, and the hot breaths against her pulse.

When Sam finally gets herself together she raises her head again and tries to catch her breath. “I can’t believe how good I’ve gotten,” she celebrates, wearing the most beautiful smile Alex has ever seen.

“You’re doing better than Kara did by this time,” Alex confesses, trying to ignore how entrancing Sam’s deep brown eyes are.

“Awesome,” Sam exclaims happily in a little dance, accidentally driving her thigh into Alex’s core. Alex can’t hold back the satisfied groan she unconsciously releases.

“Oh my god, Alex,” Sam shouts, crawling off of the redhead. “Did I hurt you?” She demands looking over the agent from top to bottom.

Alex shakes her head and takes a moment to recover before standing up. She tries to cool the heat in her cheeks as she turns towards Sam. “I’m okay. I think we should stretch and finish up for the day,” Alex says, trying to calm her nerves. “You did great,” she adds.

Sam smiles at her and Alex feels something take over, she feels herself fall.


	4. Secure

Ruby’s graduation is about five weeks away and Alex wants to toy with the idea of surprising Ruby by having Sam announce her release from the DEO by showing up to her ceremony.

Sam has been doing great with her trainings. They have discovered that Sam is incredibly strong, she can fly, she can use heat vision and she has superspeed. She doesn’t have heightened senses, or freeze breath and, most alarming to Alex, she is not as invincible as Supergirl, which is odd considering her tolerance to kryptonite.

She has come a long way. She can control her powers and isn’t so scared of them anymore. But, she is still afraid Reign could emerge. Alex worries Sam will never get over that fear, but she will have to leave the DEO eventually, and she thinks that time is now. She knows Sam is ready.

It’s towards the end of the day when Alex finally has time to visit Sam. Kara, Winn and J’onn are debriefing in the command center while Alex slips away.

She heads towards Sam’s room and is a few feet away when she hears screaming. She runs, picking up her pace even more when she realizes it’s Sam’s voice.

She bursts into the room, where she finds Sam crippled on the floor in agony in the middle of her chamber.

“She deserves this, Alex,” the agent hears. She turns and finds the guard responsible for watching over Sam and the remote for the inhibitor key in his hands.

“You are going to kill her,” Alex argues with him.

“That’s the intention,” he mocks.

“Please don’t,” Alex begs.

“Reign killed my sister, why should I let her live?” He scoffs.

“That isn’t Reign, that is Sam,” Alex argues.

“And Reign is in her,” he shouts as he turns the inhibitor up even more. Sam screams even louder and Alex can’t handle it.

“Please,” she begs. “That isn’t Reign, she’d have emerged by now. You’re killing a person.”

“Either way, if she lives there is a risk,” he argues. “I can’t let her kill another human. Kill one to save a thousand.”

He moves his hand toward the dial on the inhibitor again and Alex pulls her gun and blasts him with a beam of energy. He is knocked against the wall unconscious. She runs and grabs the remote from him and dials it to zero, then crushes it. She secures him before rushing into Sam’s room, not even caring about the alarms.

She gets to Sam and falls to her knees next to the woman’s body which lies in the fetal position. Alex checks her pulse and sighs in relief when she feels it there, faintly. “Sam?” she nearly shouts at the woman.

Sam groans a moment before she begins to sob quietly. Alex collects her into her arms and holds her as she cries. She is sure the woman has solar flared and now is in extreme pain. She knows being blamed for things Reign has done and being targeted for it will affect her psyche as well. 

But she also knows the woman was on the verge of death, is in an immense amount of pain, was antagonized in the name of Reign, and even solar flared, and Reign did not emerge. It is with that knowledge that she decides Sam is coming home now. She will not let the woman punish herself anymore.

“Kara I need you to fly Sam home,” Alex says. J’onn, Kara and Winn are all there, having been alerted by the security systems.

“Alex what happened?” Kara wonders.

“Agent Klein over there decided that Sam was Reign, and Reign deserved to die for killing his sister. He used the remote to turn up the kryptonite on the inhibitor. It was at almost 500,” Alex explains angrily.

“Alex, Sam needs to stay under the sun lamps and we haven’t officially released her,” J’onn argues.

“Winn has already installed sunlamps in Sam’s room hasn’t he?” Alex argues, knowing the nerd did so secretly, hoping the woman would eventually join Supergirl in a crime fighting duo.

He begins to argue and defend himself but Alex cuts him off. “J’onn, he almost killed her and she didn’t turn into Reign. I’m taking her home,” She argues.

Sam shakes her head as violently as she can. “Ruby,” she whispers.

“I will have Lena take Ruby until you’re ready,” Alex explains. 

Sam doesn’t argue after that. “Kara, please get her home. She needs to be home,” Alex pleads.

Kara nods her head and walks over to her. She bends down and lifts Sam in her arms before walking out of the room with her. Alex sighs.

She stands up and walks over to J’onn. “Take care of him,” she says nodding toward the agent’s body. “Make sure he doesn’t remember anything about this place. I’m taking a few days off,” she remarks as she heads out the door, rushing home to meet Kara and Sam.

When Alex arrives home twenty minutes later, she finds Kara in the living room.

“How is she?” Alex asks.

“Weak but alive. She’s been in and out,” Kara says.

“Thank you,” Alex replies. “For bringing her here without question.”

“Sam was ready to come home for a while, we just needed her to be sure,” Kara shrugs. “I’m sorry this happened to her on our watch.”

“Me too,” Alex sighs sadly.

“I’m going to go check on the situation at the DEO then go home to Lena,” Kara tells her. “Call me if you need anything?”

“Of course,” Alex answers.

Kara hugs her before she heads out to the balcony and flies off.

Alex sighs and prepares herself to see Sam. She is beyond angry and she blames herself. She should have better vetted the agents sent to watch over Sam.

She walks over to the door and takes a moment to collect herself before she opens it and walks through. Sam is asleep in her bed, the sun lamps aimed directly at her and turned on. She thanks Kara in her head for having the foresight to do that.

Alex knows Sam will be out for a while with the amount of Kryptonite she was exposed to. She’s furious that someone was able to hurt Sam. She’s angry that she couldn’t protect her from it. 

She stands in the entryway for several minutes and watches over Sam. She makes sure her rest is peaceful and that nothing is ailing her. 

She certainly doesn’t take the time to think about how beautiful the brunette looks resting soundly. She doesn’t realize how deep her attachment to Sam is, or notice how much she wants to kill Agent Klein. She doesn’t realize she only gets thoughts like that about enemies who have hurt Kara. She doesn’t register the profound happiness that Sam is home, or the realization that this is home to her as well. She ignores that she has fallen.

Alex finally leaves Sam to rest. She keeps the door open in case she hears her wake and she needs assistance.

She busies herself tidying the house up. She calls Lena and speaks to Ruby for a while. She kills as much time as possible trying to distract herself from hovering over the woman in the other room.

She settles on watching some Grey’s Anatomy while Sam continues to sleep. She doesn’t realize how tired she is herself, until she falls asleep within the first fifteen minutes of the episode.

She awakes to screaming. The room is dark and it takes her a moment to get her bearings and remember where she is before she’s rushing towards Sam in the next room.

Sam is panicking, panting roughly as she sits stark straight up in her bed. 

Alex gets to her side and takes a seat next to her on the bed, taking her hand. “Hey, hey,” she shushes softly. “You’re home. You’re safe.”

“Ruby?” Sam questions in a whispered tone. 

“She’s with Lena. We are alone here and you’re both safe,” Alex assures her.

“I had a nightmare,” Sam explains sadly, staring at her lap. “I hurt you and then I hurt her.”

“You did? Or Reign?” Alex wonders.

“What’s the difference,” Sam shrugs in defeat.

“The difference is everything, Sam,” Alex argues. “You are not her. You are kind and empathetic and gentle. You love Ruby and you would never hurt her.”

Sam shakes her head. “I should go back to the DEO.”

“You cannot continue to punish yourself, Sam. You need to move on,” Alex tells her.

“I need to know I am not a risk,” she argues.

“I watched you almost die,” Alex exclaims loudly. “He almost killed you, Sam. Reign didn’t emerge even to protect herself. It wasn’t a simulation; it wasn’t some test. He was going to kill you. You, Sam, not Reign. I will not let that happen again.”

“But Ruby,” Sam attempts.

“Ruby needs her mom,” Alex bites back. “It’s been almost seven months, Sam. Your fear is clouding your judgement and it’s making you selfish. I will not let you deny Ruby of her mother.”

Sam sighs and begins to cry softly. “Am I a bad mother?” She asks. “Have I been using Ruby as an excuse to protect myself?”

Alex puts her other hand on top of the one of Sam’s she has been holding. She squeezes her hand affectionately and sighs. “You’re an amazing mother, Sam. You have always wanted what’s best for Ruby. Staying away from her just isn’t in her best interest anymore.”

“Okay,” Sam relents.

“Lena is going to watch Ruby for a few days while you rest up and heal,” Alex tells her.

“What about my trainings? Can I continue them?” Sam wonders.

“Kara wants to continue to train with you a couple of times a week. You can spar with Kara from now on. J’onn believes you can continue to perform the techniques he’s shown you without his guidance, but he welcomes you anytime,” Alex explains.

“And you?” Sam asks.

“What about me?” Alex questions.

“What do you plan on doing now that I’m out?” She clarifies.

“What do you want me to do?” Alex asks, the question falling thickly from her throat. She doesn’t know what answer she expects. She doesn’t want to stop seeing Ruby. She doesn’t want to stop helping Sam progress. She doesn’t know if she can think about going a day without seeing either of the two Arias women she has grown so fond of.

“Will you stay?” Sam asks softly. “Help me acclimate and take care of Ruby again with all these changes? I’m not so sure I can do it alone.”

Alex can’t hide the relief on her face. She lets out a breath and smiles at Sam. “Of course,” she agrees. “Whatever you need, Sam.”

Sam smiles back at her, fondly.

“You should keep resting,” Alex breaks the moment in an attempt to keep things from growing awkward.

“I am exhausted,” Sam laughs. 

“You solar flared. Your powers are gone so you’ll be considerably weak for the time being. The best remedy is rest and sunlight,” Alex informs her.

Sam nods before scooting back down in the bed and situating herself to go back to sleep. “You don’t have to argue with me about sleeping,” she laughs.

“Good,” Alex laughs back, heading towards the door. “Sleep tight, Sam.”

“Good night, Alex,” Sam replies sleepily.

A few hours later, Alex is awoken by whimpering from Sam’s room. She rushes in the find the woman in the middle of another nightmare. She takes to Sam’s side and attempts to wake her.

Sam awakens with a start and looks around to get a grip of her surroundings. She grabs Alex’s hand the moment she realizes she’s there.

“Do you have nightmares often?” Alex wonders, squeezing Sam’s hand affectionately.

Sam looks sullen for a moment before she nods. “Every night,” Sam cries. “I seem them. All of their faces. Everyone I have killed, or hurt.”

“J’onn has showed you how to put these thoughts behind you,” Alex tells her.

“I can’t do it. I need to atone for what I’ve done,” Sam cries, shaking her head.

“Torturing yourself is not the way to do that. We need to heal your heart,” Alex says softly. She takes her hand and cups Sam’s cheek with the other. “We need to help you forgive yourself.”

It takes everything inside of herself not to press into Alex’s hand. She realizes how greatly she wants the intimacy but she doesn’t deserve it. She doesn’t deserve anything.

“I don’t deserve forgiveness,” Sam sobs softly.

Alex strokes her cheek and attempts to quiet her. “You have the power to do so much good, Sam. Through L Corp, through your powers. Let that be your path to absolution.”

Sam nods her head and Alex removes her hand. 

“Try to rest some more,” Alex says, standing and preparing to leave. “Call me if you need me.”

She attempts to extract her hand but Sam hold her in place.

“Stay with me?” She asks, her voice pleading gently. 

“The lights,” she says, shaking her head.

Sam reaches next to her and shuts them off. “I will spend time under them tomorrow. Right now, I need sleep.”

Alex hesitates a moment before agreeing. “Okay,” she replies softly, heading toward the other side of the bed. She knows Sam wouldn’t have asked if it weren’t necessary.

She crawls in and lays stiffly for a minute next to Sam. She feels the brunette’s hand lace with hers and she returns the grip securely.

“Kara used to have nightmares a lot,” Alex whispers. “She would always crawl into bed and talk until she fell back asleep. She never had them when I was with her.”

“Maybe you ward the bad dreams away,” Sam replies sleepily. “You’re a dream catcher.”

“A dream catcher,” Alex repeats softly through a light laugh. She looks over to Sam and sees her breathing lightly. The brunette is already asleep.

Alex lays there quietly and thinks about the situation. She tells this is what friends are for. She used to always do this for Kara. She definitely doesn’t want to hold Sam and promise her she will be okay. She falls asleep with thoughts of denial, her hand still laced with Sam’s.

\----------------------

When Alex wakes the next morning, the sun is peaking through the curtains. She feels the warmth of a body on top of her and peers down to see Sam cuddling her arm and using her shoulder as a pillow.

Alex grins and pushes the brunette’s hair out of her face. She looks peaceful, content, beautiful. Alex remains entranced for a moment. She remembers all the panicked and denial filled thoughts of last night and throws them all away.

She knows she has fallen. But she knows several other things. Sam is still healing and needs time to reacclimate to her life. Sam has many other things to focus on, like Ruby, getting better and training. The last thing Alex wishes to do is complicate things with her feelings.

She stays there and lets herself enjoy this moment for a little while. She lets herself imagine this is something she could have.

Then she slowly slips her arm out of Sam’s grasp. Thankfully the woman is a heavy sleeper like her daughter. However, she is absolutely a koala when it comes to cuddling.

Once Alex is finally free of Sam’s hold, she slips out of bed and out of the room. She heads to the kitchen to start making breakfast. She figures Sam must also be a fan of banana chocolate chip pancakes, since Ruby never wants anything else for breakfast on the weekends.

She starts making the batter, when her phone rings. She continues her progress while she answers Kara’s call.

“Hey, Kara. Everything alright?” She asks.

“I was calling to ask the same question. How is Sam?” Kara asks.

“She’s okay, alive. She’s weak and apparently having nightmares,” Alex sighs. “I wish she would have told us sooner. Maybe we can get her in with one of the DEO psychiatrists.”

“You should talk to her about it. She listens to you,” Kara insists. She’s not naïve to the relationship growing between the two women.

“Yeah right,” Alex chuckles bitterly. “If she listened to me she’d have been home weeks ago. None of this would have happened.”

“Hey, it’s not anyone’s fault,” Kara stresses.

“What did you guys do with that idiot?” Alex asks, ignoring Kara’s reassurances.

“J’onn wiped his memory of the DEO and of Sam, then some agents threw him out. Winn began a scan and screening on all other DEO employees to make sure no one else has the same sentiments that Agent Klein did. We found no one else to be alarmed about,” Kara explains.

“Good. He’s lucky I didn’t kill him,” Alex growls. “I told Sam she will be continuing her training with you from now on. I was hoping we could train her to join the team. I think it will help with emotional healing and atonement”

“That sounds like a perfect idea,” Kara agrees. “She wants to help the DEO to help herself atone?”

“I’ve only talked to her about training,” Alex replies, shaking her head. “She’s still afraid of what she can do. I need you to train her and help encourage her to join, but we can’t push her too hard.”

“I understand,” Kara replies. “I’ve gotta get back to work. I just wanted to make sure Sam was doing well. Maybe Ruby can talk to her tonight?”

“I’ll ask Sam if she would be comfortable with calling Ruby tonight. I’ll see you later?” Alex asks.

“Of course. Love you, Alex.”

“Love you too, Kara,” Alex replies before hanging up the phone. 

She has everything prepped and begins pouring pancakes and scrambling eggs. She’s down to griddling the last pancake when Sam emerges from the room and ambles slowly toward the kitchen bar.

“Hey, you should probably stay in bed, Sam. I was just going to come bring this to you,” Alex fusses, rushing over to help the brunette onto a bar stool.

“I wanted to make sure I wasn’t a paraplegic,” Sam remarks. “Turns out I’m not. Just very, very weak.”

“The amount of kryptonite you were exposed to could have killed you. It absolutely would have killed Kara,” Alex explains seriously.

“Yeah,” Sam breathes out. “I realize now why you and Kara were so hesitant to use it in the first place.”

Alex looks at how regretful Sam looks and wishes she could hold her. She wishes she could affectionately whisk away all of Sam’s sorrows and regrets and fears. She wishes she had the right.

Instead she takes Sam’s hand. “I’m just glad you’re ok. I was so worried about you.”

“I’m sorry I put you through that,” Sam apologizes.

Alex squeezes her hand and shakes her head. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Sam. We slipped up. We put you in danger. I feel like it’s my fault,” Alex says sadly.

Sam pulls her into a hug. When she pulls back she puts her hands on Alex’s shoulders and looks her seriously in the eyes. “I know that if you would have known, that would never have happened. I know you would do everything in your power to protect Ruby and I. I know you stopped him in time and saved my life,” Sam tells her.

Alex nods her head, knowing she would do anything for the woman in front of her. She wishes Sam would absolve herself of guilt as easily as she forgave her.

Sam sniffs a moment, then laughs. “I also know you’re burning a pancake.”

Alex registers that statement and notices the smell of something burning in the air. She jumps up and rushes over to the stove to turn it off. She flips the burnt pancake revealing how black the underside is. Sam can just barely see the black puck from her seat at the bar. She cannot contain her laughter.

“I swear that’s never happened with Ruby before,” Alex promises through a laugh. Her cheeks are slightly red. “You’re distracting.”

“Oh you have no idea,” Sam replies, her voice an octave deeper.

Alex refuses to believe the woman is flirting with her. She clears her throat and tries to change the subject. “I made us chocolate chip banana pancakes, scrambled eggs and some bacon,” Alex tells her, pushing two plates of food her way.

“Ugh, I love you,” Sam exclaims, shoving a bite of pancake in her mouth.

Alex’s heartrate sparks at the endearment, before she remembers the younger Arias always responds the same way.

Then she just finds it adorable how alike the two women she’s grown to love are.

\----------------------

Sam calls Ruby that evening and they talk on the phone for what seems like hours. Eventually they put the phone on speaker and Alex joins in extending the conversation well past the young Arias’ bedtime.

When they hang up, Sam lies back on the bed and sighs happily.

“That sounds like a very content sigh Ms. Arias,” Alex notes, poking the brunette in the side.

Sam turns her head and looks at the redhead, sitting on the other side of the bed. She smiles at her and closes her eyes. “When I first found out I was Reign, I thought there was no way I’d ever have this back.”

“It’s because of this, Sam. Because of Ruby, that you defeated Reign,” Alex tells her. “Remember that.”

Sam smiles at Alex and nods. She wishes Alex knew she was part of what made her strong too. “I want to be sure that when my powers return, and I’m sure I can control them, we will bring Ruby home.”

“Well, then you should rest up beneath the lamps. It usually takes Kara about a week to come back from a solar flare,” Alex says patting Sam’s hand. “I’m just going to clean up from this morning. You rest.”

Sam agrees and turns the lamps on and closes her eyes.

She awakens not much later in a panic before the lights remind her where she is. She looks over at the clock to realize it’s only been an hour.

She gets up to look for Alex and finds her listening to music in the kitchen while she does dishes. Sam admires the slight swaying the redhead does along with the music before she steps beside the redhead. She takes a towel and begins drying the dishes Alex hands her way.

“I thought we agreed you should be resting,” Alex says, but doesn’t stop passing dishes to her.

“I can’t sleep without my dreamcatcher,” Sam replies nonchalantly. She continues to dry the plate in her hand, completely ignoring that Alex has stopped.

Alex regains herself after a moment of adoration for the woman beside her. How she can make such a declaration nonchalantly, with no regard for the whims of Alex’s heart. “You barely rested under the lamps today.”

“I spent a couple of hours outside on the phone,” she argues. “I’d rather get my rays the old-fashioned way anyways. Hand me some mimosas and I’ll be living the part of college life I never got to have,” Sam jokes. “Come on, I promise to spend all day tanning tomorrow. Especially if you join me.”

Alex looks at her and grins before bumping her with her hip. “Fine, deal,” the redhead agrees, although not as reluctantly as she’d like to seem. “But I hate to break it to you, if you’re anything like Kara, alcohol won’t affect you anymore.”

“No,” Sam gasps. “Where will my liquid courage come from now.”

“Guess you’ve just gotta have some, you know, real courage,” Alex taunts biting her lip and raising a brow at Sam. She grabs a handful of bubbles from the sink and tosses them at the brunette.

Sam gasps, dropping the plate into the sink and immediately grabbing the spray nozzle. Alex doesn’t have time to react before Sam is soaking her with the nozzle. Alex screams and reaches forward and points it back as Sam, soaking her as well.

They both drop the nozzle as they laugh, Alex pushing Sam into the counter behind her during their scuffle. Sam realizes their proximity; the way Alex is panting into her between deep laughter.

She grips the marble countertop behind her attempting to calm her heartbeat and restrain herself.

Alex isn’t so reluctant. She quiets her laughter and stares deeply into Sam’s eyes before they peel down to her lips. She leans in closer, begging for Sam’s permission and she gives it to her unquestionably when she looks down to the redhead’s lips as well.

A shrill ringing breaks them apart in a flash, a deep cracking noise following.

“Oh my God,” Sam gasps.

Alex breathes out a “you can say that again,” trying to regain herself, before she looks down to see why Sam truly made the exclamation. In her hand lies a chunk of marble from her countertop. “Sam,” Alex gasps.

“The phone, it startled me because we, well we,” she stops and shakes her head. “It startled me,” she ends the sentence there.

“Sam, your powers are back already?” Alex exclaims and questions simultaneously.

“I guess so,” she replies just as shocked.

“You must heal faster than Supergirl. You’re not indestructible but you heal quickly. That’s good to know,” Alex tells her.

“Yeah,” Sam sighs. She’s not sure how she’s ever going to get use to this whole powers thing. “It’s going to cost a fortune to replace that marble,” Sam bemoans.

“Hey,” Alex says softly. “Let’s get cleaned up and deal with this in the morning?”

“What about your phone?” Sam asks.

“It was Winn’s ringtone. He calls twice if it’s an emergency. I’ll call him back in the morning,” Alex says.

Sam nods her agreement and follows the brunette to get towels for themselves and the kitchen floor. When most of the water is sopped up, Sam follows Alex into her room..

Alex finds Sam and herself a set of clothes to sleep in and hands a pair to her. “I’m going to change into dry clothes and then I’ll be back okay?”

“Okay,” Sam agrees, thankful Alex is there to keep her grounded.

The two of them fall asleep with their hands entwined again. Sam only has one nightmare.

\----------------------

Sam spends the next day in the sun training and performing some of the self-control techniques Kara had taught her. She’s halfway through her warmups when Kara lands on the patio in front of her. “You’re looking good, the form is almost perfect,” she encourages Sam.

“Alex told you I had my powers back,” Sam smiles at the blonde.

“Yes, and I figured we could jump back into training. I’d like to start on flying as soon as possible,” Kara replies.

“No way,” Sam exclaims.

“Way,” Kara laughs. “Actually, I was hoping we could start training for you to enter the field.”

“Enter the field?” She asks cautiously. “Kara, I thought we were just training me for self-control purposes, so I can go back to a normal life. I don’t- I don’t know if I want to be a superhero.”

“Just think on it, Sam,” Kara replies. “You could help us do a lot of good.”

“Right now I just want to be sure I can control my powers,” Sam sighs. “I just want my normal life back, before I add anything on top of it.”

“Okay, Sam. We will work on control some more,” Kara agrees. “You know, flying really helps with my control. When I’m feeling antsy, sometimes it’s the only thing that calms me.”

Kara can’t help the smirk that meets her lips when she watches Sam’s eyebrows raise in consideration.

By the end of the day, Sam is spent, but for the first time in a while she doesn’t yearn to be grounded. She only wants to take to the sky and work all of her anxieties out through loops and bounds. Supergirl finally convinces her to come down and when she lands she can do nothing but grin.

“See,” Kara tells her, crossing her arms smugly.

“Whatever,” Sam chuckles, pushing at the blonde with her shoulders. She looks over towards the back door and catches Alex leaning against it, watching her fondly. Suddenly, flying doesn’t seem like the best thing in the world anymore.

Over dinner, Sam agrees Ruby can return home the following night. They agree upon a family dinner with all five of them present.


	5. Adjust

Alex gets back from the grocery store to find Sam pacing in the kitchen. She unloads the stuff in her hands and then takes the brunette’s hands into her own.

“I leave for an hour and this is what I return to. What’s wrong?” Alex asks softly, urging Sam’s worried eyes to fall upon her own.

“Ruby is coming home, what if I made this decision too soon? What if I’m not ready? What if I hurt her?” Sam rambles off.

“Hey,” Alex shushes. “Hey, hey,” she whispers willing Sam’s mind to stop. She pulls Sam into an embrace and holds her tightly. “You haven’t hurt me, Sam. We’ve been together for 3 days. I’ve awoken you from nightmares. You haven’t hurt me and you won’t hurt Ruby.”

“The counter,” Sam reminds her, looking towards the broken marble. “That could have been you.”

“I don’t think so, Sam. When you hold me, or Ruby or any one you care about, you focus. You’re doing it now and you don’t even realize it. You’re holding back,” Alex says.

Sam finally relaxes into Alex’s embrace and embraces her tightly in return.

“See? I trust you, Sam,” Alex breathes into Sam ear.

Sam sighs and nods her head, continuing to hold onto Alex, letting her ease her.

Alex finally pulls back and holds on only to Sam’s hands. “It’s going to be like old times, okay? You and Ruby both home. You can go back to work any time. Anything you want to do; you can do it without needing to be afraid.”

“I don’t want it to be like old times, Alex,” Sam replies. “Old times didn’t have you in it.”

Alex tightens her hold on Sam’s hand. “I’ll stay as long as you need me,” she promises.

Sam smiles at her. She doesn’t know how to tell Alex that may be forever, but knowing Alex will stay for the time being is all Sam needs for now.

“Let’s start on dinner,” Alex says nodding towards the kitchen.

Kara, Lena and Ruby arrive a few hours later. Ruby is the last through the door and as soon as Sam’s eyes land on her, they light up the brightest Alex has ever seen.

Ruby rushes in and is enveloped in Sam’s arms immediately. Alex hears the two of them exchanged multiple exclamations of affection and admissions of missing each other.

She can’t help but let a tear fall as she sees the joy and relief on Sam’s face after finally holding her daughter for the first time in almost a year.

Eventually, Alex finds herself invited into the hug. Then, Lena, then Kara, until all five of them are squished in an affectionate and celebratory embrace.

Dinner goes normally. Lena, Kara and Ruby recount the soccer match Ruby had this weekend where they tied at zero.

Lena reveals the research they put forth to improve upon a brain monitor to study Sam’s mind has been implemented in medical research. She tells them that they may be able to find a treatment for certain amnesias, Alzheimer’s and possibly dementia. Kara looks at her with a pride in her eye that Alex has only ever seen aimed at her.

She realizes what Kara sees in the woman for the first time.

After dinner, they decide to watch a movie. They land on The Incredibles, and bundle up on the couches. Ruby snuggles into her mother, while Lena sits on the love seat awaiting Kara.

“We are just going to sneak out for a chat,” Kara says to Lena, kissing her cheek. She starts the movie then follows Alex out onto the patio. 

“It’s been a while since we talked,” Kara sighs. “Really talked.”

“Yeah,” Alex breathes. “I guess with Ruby occupying so much of my time outside of work, I’ve been a little distant.”

“And Sam waking up,” Kara adds. “You’ve been very involved in her recovery. When did you guys get so close?”

“I don’t know,” Alex admits. “She came to me, before we found out she was Reign. Told me about her blackouts. I don’t know why she decided to trust me first, I think maybe she felt the same pull I feel towards her.”

“Pull?” Kara wonders. “You mean attraction,” she supplies.

“No,” Alex shakes her head. “This connection, it was like an instant trust. This feeling of belonging. Like I had met her just at the right time.”

“Alex,” Kara sighs.

“She must feel it too,” Alex argues. “Lena has boundless resources and has been her best friend since college. Why me?”

“Love,” Kara replies easily.

“No,” Alex denies. “Sam isn’t gay.”

“Alex,” Kara laughs, not understanding how the two of them are so oblivious. “Forget how Sam feels, her sexuality aside as well. How do you feel?”

“Kara, I don’t know,” Alex groans, placing her head in her hands.

“You’re a liar,” Kara tells her.

Alex stares at her a moment and tries to fight Kara’s call on her bluff. She finally sighs exasperatedly and throws her hands up for a moment in surrender. “I think I love her,” she admits. “Despite everything, all the baggage and struggle, I feel something strongly for her.”

“Stronger than Maggie?” Kara asks.

“So much,” Alex whispers back immediately. “I fell for Maggie so quickly. It felt new and exciting, but we never had the time to see each other’s bad sides, to learn each other. Sam has been so gradual and painstakingly slow until it was too late Kara. How do you stop yourself from falling when you don’t know you’re falling until it’s too late?”

“Why would you want to?” Kara wonders.

“I can’t tell her,” Alex answers. “I can’t put this on her.”

“That makes no sense, Alex,” Kara argues.

“She’s recovering. She’s got so much on her plate as it is. It would be selfish of me to add this to it,” Alex explains. “I will approach the issue when Sam is ready for it.”

“When Sam is ready, or you are?” Kara asks. “It sounds like you’re just making excuses.”

“Kara, I’m not going to budge on this. Ruby is involved as well, so it is much more delicate than just what I want or even what Sam wants,” Alex argues.

“I get it,” Kara sighs. “I just want to see you happy.”

“I am happy,” Alex disagrees.

“Truly?” Kara wonders.

“Kara, I am,” Alex promises. “I’ve got family and friends who love me, a great job and a great life so far. I’ve got plenty of time to add to it.”

“Yeah,” Kara agrees.

“What about you and Lena?” Alex wonders. “How’s that going?”

Kara beams instantly, thinking about the CEO. “It’s amazing, Alex. I had no idea I had felt this way about her until I realized how much she hated Supergirl. It was like a gut punch,” Kara breathes. “I realized I had lied to her and because of it she now hated half of who I was. It hurt worse than Kryptonite.”

“I remember,” Alex nods.

“I’m so beyond lucky she forgave me, Alex,” Kara sighs in relief.

“She thought you were gonna die,” Alex admits.

“So are you saying if Sam is about to leave on a potentially life threatening mission, or if she was about to die, you’d admit your feelings for her?” Kara wonders.

“Don’t get any ideas, Kara,” Alex laughs.

“Anyways,” Kara continues through chuckles. “We are really good,” Kara smiles. “I can’t begin to tell you how lucky I am.”

“That’s great, Kara,” Alex tells her, a smile not fully reaching her cheeks.

“Is it?” Kara asks.

“What do you mean?” Alex wonders.

“You clearly don’t like her,” Kara replies, crossing her arms.

“Kara, I don’t dislike her,” Alex argues.

“Alex, come on. You obviously don’t approve of her in some fashion,” Kara argues.

“Fine,” Alex huffs. “She’s cold and hard to read, and you’re you. I just have a hard time trusting her,” she admits.

“Remember that trust you feel with Sam? I have that with Lena. I trust her with my whole heart,” Kara explains passionately. “Alex, she was raised a Luthor. Of course she’s distant, but she isn’t like that with me, or Sam, or Ruby. You need to give her a chance and let her open up. Stop treating her like an enemy,” Kara demands of her.

“Okay,” Alex relents, knowing she needs to give the woman her sister so clearly loves a chance. “I will try harder with Lena.”

“Good, because I’m going to marry her one day,” Kara tells her resolutely, a proud smile adorning her face.

Alex walks over to her sister and pulls her into a lengthy hug. “I’m proud of you, Kara,” she tells her as she releases her. They head towards the door, both of their backs significantly lightened.

When they make their way inside, Ruby is out like a light. Lena is not far along, and Sam is stuck underneath her daughter watching the movie which isn’t even halfway over.

“I thought you’d never come in to rescue me,” Sam says to the women once they enter the room.

“How is she asleep already?” Alex chuckles.

“She hasn’t slept much at our house,” Kara admits. “Lena stayed with her the last few nights. They watched movies and napped when Ruby could bring herself to sleep.”

Sam feels so much shame and guilt for putting Ruby through that. She kisses her daughter’s forehead and shakes her head. “Alex will you help me put her to bed?”

Alex nods, heading over to the brunette to pull her daughter off of her. If she hadn’t spent several nights with Sam she’d wonder where the younger Arias got her koala like abilities.

“I am going to get Lena out of here before I have to carry her as well,” Kara chuckles, pulling Lena up and helping her towards the door.

“Drive safe,” Alex calls to Kara as she cradles Ruby. Sam gets up and pulls her sleeping daughter from Alex’s arms. She smiles when she realizes how light the girl is with her powers. 

“I guess this is one use for these powers,” she jokes to Alex.

Alex grins and pushes Sam towards Ruby’s room. “Put her to bed and go ahead and lay down. I’ll clean up in here and join you.”

Sam nods at her and does as she’s told. She tucks Ruby into bed and kisses her forehead. “I love you, Ruby,” she whispers to her girl. She looks over her daughter’s sleeping form for a few minutes, thankful that she finally has this back. She is so happy that everything is getting back to normal.

She gets ready for bed and lies down for only twenty minutes before Alex joins her.

They lie there quietly for a few moments before Sam speaks. “Thank you,” she says. “For cooking, and taking care of Ruby and I, and for making sure I keep progressing. I wouldn’t be this far without you Alex.”

Alex takes Sam’s hand and squeezes it. “Don’t mention it, Sam. I promised you I’d get you home.”

Sam falls asleep wondering if Alex is doing all of this just because of a promise or if she feels anything towards her.

When she wakes up for the third morning in a row to an empty bed, she allows herself to think the agent is only fulfilling a duty.

\----------------------

Two days later, Alex returns to work.

Sam wanted to go with and continue training with Kara, but Alex encouraged her to stay home and hang out with Ruby after school.

Sam does everything she can to occupy her time, until she spends her first time alone with her daughter since Reign. She meditates the nerves away and does some of the focused training techniques Kara showed her.

Finally, she hears her daughter’s eager footsteps hurrying through the front entryway.

“Mom, you gotta see this,” she exclaims, rushing through the door. “Alex sent me a video of this new planet Kara got to explore today. Alex said it could potentially house human life, but it’s beyond human reach.”

Sam can’t get over how nerdy her daughter is and how perfect Alex is at capturing that interest.

She watches the video on Ruby’s phone and finds the planet unbelievably beautiful. She can’t believe other planets like that exist and then she remembers she’s actually an alien from a planet like that. She makes note to ask Kara to tell her about Krypton one day.

“So,” Sam says once Ruby has put away her phone. “How about we have a snack and work on some homework.”

“I only have math today,” Ruby exclaims happily. “Algebra” she adds.

“Oh thank God, numbers are my middle name,” Sam laughs.

“No it’s not, it’s Marie,” Ruby chuckles, pulling out her books and paper.

Sam grins at her and tousles her hair. “Alright, you get started and I will make us some PB&J’s,” Sam tells her.

It doesn’t take very long before Ruby and Sam work through the math homework. They decide on chocolate ice cream for celebration. They’re sitting across from each other at the bar, devouring the pint Alex just brought home.

“So, does Alex live with us now?” Ruby wonders.

“For now, yeah,” Sam replies.

“For now? Like unless you guys break up?” Ruby asks.

Sam nearly chokes on the ice cream in her mouth. She takes a second to compose herself and shakes her head. “Ruby, Alex and I aren’t together like that,” she explains softly.

“But I saw her sneaking out of your room,” Ruby replies.

“She stays with me to help me deal with nightmares,” Sam sighs, opting to tell her daughter the truth. “I’m sorry if you got your hopes up, Rube. But Alex and I are just friends.”

“But you want to be more,” Ruby adds.

“That’s not really up for discussion, Ruby,” Sam tells her.

“You should tell her,” Ruby continues to push.

“Ruby,” Sam says seriously.

“Fine,” Ruby relents shaking her head, but doing as she's told.

The two of them make themselves busy having a mini soccer tournament in the living room before landing on playing the Switch.

Alex arrives home later and joins in on their MarioKart tournament. The living room is full of giggles and taunting well past Ruby’s bed time.

Each of them think about how much it feels like family, but neither of them say a word.


	6. Liberate

Ruby is sleeping over at a friend’s house, leaving Alex and Sam with the house to themselves for the night. It’s been three weeks since Sam has been back home. Ruby didn’t want to go, but Sam talked her into it, saying she needed to get out and have a normal teenage life. Sam promised she wasn’t going anywhere anymore and Alex promised to look after Sam in her absence.

Alex and Sam order Chinese and eat while watching TV. Sam isn’t big on watching Grey’s Anatomy, but she will watch anything for Alex.

“The little Grey kind of looks like you,” Sam notes after an episode or two.

Alex laughs. “No,” she denies before a beat. “You think so?”

“A little bit, yeah.” Sam chuckles.

They continue to watch the show, mostly quietly, for several episodes. When Callie and Arizona are on screen, Sam decides to break the silence with a question that’s been often on her mind. She never got the story on why the detective left. She can’t fathom a reason in the world anyone could ever leave a woman like Alex.

“What ever happened to Maggie?” Sam asks, hoping she isn’t crossing some line. “I mean, if it’s okay that I ask. I just- you never told me how you fell out of love.”

“We didn’t fall out of love, that’s what made it so hard,” Alex sighs.

“Then, why are you apart?” Sam asks.

“We wanted different things,” Alex explains sadly. “I have always wanted kids. Maggie and I, we never talked about it. Until I met you and Ruby. I brought it up and Maggie revealed she didn’t want kids. We should have talked about it sooner; I don’t know why we didn’t. I feel so stupid jumping in so deep for someone before we even discussed our future.” Alex sighs and pinches her nose. “But then we did talk about it, a lot. For weeks, from morning to night. And we knew, one of us would never have been happy if we stayed together. Maggie left a few days later.”

“Alex, I’m so sorry,” Sam says in consolation.

“It was our fault. We were too stupid in love to actually figure each other out and know who the other person was. We moved too fast,” Alex replies dismissively. “I was stupid and naïve and I got ahead of myself. I’m just glad I met you and Ruby when I did or I can’t even begin to imagine what would have happened between Maggie and I.”

“Hey we all do things we regret. Obviously, you loved and learned a lot from being with Maggie,” Sam consoles her.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’d change anything. I mean her leaving hurt like hell, but it made me realize just how important family is to me,” Alex agrees. “You never talk about Ruby’s father. Had you always wanted kids?” 

“I never had the chance to decide. I accidentally got pregnant with Ruby at 16. Her dad, he was just some boy, young and dumb. I didn’t want to ruin his life with a baby. When he told me he didn’t want it, I realized maybe I did. My mom kicked me out, but I was determined. It felt like it had been decided for me, I was having this baby. If you asked if I’d change it though, I’d say, hell no.”

“I’m sure it was hard,” Alex replies.

“Absolutely, but she is worth it,” Sam replies fondly.

Alex nods her head. “Ruby certainly is amazing, just like her mom,” she says, staring deeply at the brunette. “But now, if you had the choice, would you have another child?”

Sam shrugs. “If I had someone to do it with, a partner, I don’t see why not. Raising a child is so rewarding. I can only imagine doing it with someone I’m in love with this time.” 

Alex nods her head and swallows thickly, tamping down the adoration she has for the woman in front of her. 

“For what it’s worth, Alex, I’m glad you didn’t settle for giving up your dream. You’re amazing with Ruby and you deserve to be a mother. You make an amazing one,” Sam adds, taking Alex’s hand in her own.

Alex’s eyes shine with tears and she nods her head, noting the tense Sam used. “That means a lot.”

Sam squeezes Alex’s hand and yawns. “I think it’s time we go to bed. I need my beauty sleep.”

Alex doesn’t tell her she’s already beautiful, like she’d like, she just follows as Sam drags her into the room.

Her and the brunette go about their nightly routine in the bathroom. Avoiding getting in each other’s way with grace as they switch between washing their faces and brushing their teeth. They grin quietly at each other the entire time. Alex refuses to think about how domestic it is.

Sam lays down in bed first, waiting for Alex so she can turn off the light.

Alex finishes up in the restroom, throws her laundry in the hamper and heads over to her side of the bed.   
They rarely fall asleep together anymore now that Kara is fully healed and Alex is working more late cases. The few times they do, they talk until one of them, usually Sam, falls asleep. 

Sam finds it hard sleeping without Alex. Even with continuous training and seeing a therapist, she still has the nightmares. They only come when Alex isn’t there.

They rarely touch, other than holding hands. They don’t do that every time they fall asleep together; just on nights that are particularly trying. But, Alex always wakes before Sam, always with Sam cuddled up beside her in some fashion.

Alex crawls into her side of the bed and after she has laid her head on the pillow for a few moments, Sam turns off the lights. Another one of their rhythms.

Tonight, they are both quiet as then lay there. A few minutes pass before Alex hears Sam sigh, and then she feels the bed shift.

Sam lies her head on Alex’s shoulder and wraps her arm around her center. “Is this okay? We are just going to wake up this way in the morning anyways,” Sam explains.

Alex laughs at that. “I wasn’t sure you were aware, you’re kind of a koala.”

“Yes, but only when my bedmate is very comfortable and keeps the nightmares away,” Sam explains.

“Is that so. Well I take that as a compliment,” Alex says through a smile. She pulls her arm out from between them and wraps it around Sam’s torso. She refuses to admit how natural it feels.

“Why do you always leave so early?” Sam asks, sinking further into the redhead now that she knows it’s okay.

“Ruby,” Alex answers.

“She’s very smart, she’s already noticed and asked me if we are together,” Sam laughs.

“What?” Alex panics.

“She’s not stupid, Alex. You may think she doesn’t notice, but I guess your sneakiness is no match for her,” Sam shrugs.

“What did you tell her?” Alex wonders.

“The truth. That I have nightmares from being Reign. You sleep next to me and help me through them,” Sam explains nonchalantly.   
“Oh,” Alex answers. She’s glad Sam is so honest with Ruby. She wonders if Ruby seemed excited or angry when she asked if they were dating. She knows it’s a question she can’t dare to ask Sam.

“She’s got her head on straight, don’t worry so much about her. Sleep in with me from time to time,” Sam tells her. She yawns and burrows further in to Alex, nodding off soon after.

In the morning Sam wakes up comfortable in Alex’s arms. She smiles and groans as she presses further into the redhead.

Alex laughs.

“How long have you been awake,” Sam wonders laughing into the agent’s neck. 

Alex tries not to react to all of the competing sensations she is feeling right now. “I’ve been in and out,” she admits, trying to steady her voice and her heart. 

“And was it so bad?” Sam asks.

“Of course not,” Alex laughs. She wants this for the rest of her life. 

“Good,” Sam replies, tightening her hold on the redhead. They lay there through intermittent bouts of silence and deep conversation, never moving a muscle, for most of the morning.

Neither tells the other how wonderful this feels or how much they have fallen. Neither questions what this level of intimacy means. Both ignore the nagging thoughts and get lost in the comfort of the other.

\----------------------

Lena comes to visit Sam alone a few days later.

The two of them are sitting in the living room, enjoying lattes that Lena brought over. Alex is at work and Ruby at school.

“I’ve missed you, Lee,” Sam admits sadly. “I haven’t seen you since you dropped Ruby off.”

“I’m sorry,” Lena sighs. “I wanted to give you guys space and time to acclimate.”

“You’ve been a part of our lives forever, Lena. Know that you’re always welcome,” Sam tells her seriously.

“Understood,” Lena agrees. “So, you and Alex?”

“Oh, God. You really aren’t going to waste any time?” Sam laughs.  
“Well I mean come on, she’s still living here and whether you admit it or not, I see how you look at her,” Lena explains.

“I already told you, there’s nothing going on,” Sam sighs.

“But you want there to be,” Lena pushes.

“Lena, come on,” She groans. “You don’t even like her.”

“That’s not true,” she argues.

“Really?” Sam scoffs. “When the two of you are around each other you both close up as if you’re waiting for each other to attack.”

“I’ll admit, she’s... difficult to be around,” Lena sighs, finally landing on the right way to put it. “I’m trying, Sam. But, she doesn’t trust me and I can’t force that. I mean how do you think I feel knowing that the most important person in my girlfriend’s life detests me?”

“Lena, she doesn’t hate you,” Sam promises.

“Could have fooled me,” Lena scoffs. “I just, I do lock up around her. I don’t want to let my guard down or screw up. Alex approving of Kara and I is important to Kara and what’s important to Kara is important to me.”

“Maybe you guys should talk to each other,” Sam suggests.

“Maybe you can talk to her,” Lena urges. “I mean, she obviously would do anything for you.”

“Lena,” Sam warns her again.

“Come on, Sam, tell me how you feel!” Lena begs. “I like Alex, truly. She’s great for you and Ruby loves her.”

Sam groans and puts her head in her hands. “I’m in love with her,” she mumbles softly into her palms.

“Huh?” Lena asks.

“I’m in love with her,” Sam repeats a little louder.

“Come again?” Lena asks this time, tauntingly.

Sam finally rips her hands away and shouts, “I’m in love with her.”

Lena laughs and pulls Sam into a hug. “Sweetie, I know.”

Sam wraps her arms around Lena and finds comfort in her embrace. “What am I gonna do?” She questions as Lena releases her.

“Tell her, dummy,” Lena replies.

“It’s not that easy,” Sam sighs.

“Why not? She’s clearly head over heels for you,” Lena argues.

“I’m still recovering and there’s Ruby to think about. Plus, what if you’re wrong. I can’t ruin a good thing,” Sam admits.

“Why would she be putting her whole life on hold to be here with you if she didn’t feel something for you?” Lena questions. She really doesn’t know how the brunette can’t see it. But, she knows Kara and her were insufferable before they admitted their feelings.

“She made a promise,” Sam sighs. “You know how painstakingly loyal the Danvers are, Lee. Plus Alex would do anything for Ruby.”

Lena groans, but relents and allows her friend to remain delusional. “Fine, but I’m not wrong. If both of you keep waiting for the other to break, well you’re just wasting time on a good thing.”

“I just want the ball to be in her court. I want us to be her choice,” Sam admits. “You have to admit with Reign and Ruby and being an alien learning to be a superhero, it’s a lot of baggage.”

“Sam, don’t be ridiculous. You’re a catch,” Lena argues. “Alex knows that as well.”

Sam sighs. “I just want to be sure I’m what Alex wants, baggage and all. I don’t want to just be some promise she’s fulfilling.”

“Fair enough,” Lena agrees.

“So,” Sam sighs. “Now that we have started our first hangout in months with a totally deep and intense conversation. Can we move on to a bottle of wine and some L Corp gossip.”

“Absolutely! Ugh, Sam I cannot wait until you come back to work so you can live some of this drama in real time,” Lena groans.

“I hope I can make it back soon,” she smiles at Lena.  
Lena grins back and they spend the afternoon polishing off a bottle of wine and talking until Alex comes home with Ruby. 

That night, the five of them have dinner. Sam sneaks Alex away for a moment to beg her to be easier on Lena.

Alex, willing to do anything for Sam and her sister, lets her walls down around Lena for the first time ever. Dinner goes pleasantly, Sam smiling for the entire night, knowing progress is made in inches.


	7. Overcome

“Yeah so if we increase the pressure just a little bit via a temperature alteration-“

“It will go even higher with the same exact technique and equipment,” Ruby exclaims, interrupting Alex.

“Yes,” Alex assures her, grinning down at the younger brunette.

“Awesome, there’s no way I’m not getting the highest score on this physics experiment,” Ruby exclaims.

“When you get home from school today we will play around with the experiment and figure out how we can alter the temperature,” Alex tells her.

“Yes, I can’t wait to get home,” Ruby shouts excitedly.

Sam is standing in the doorway to the kitchen witnessing the interaction between the two people she loves the most in this world. She observes how amazing Alex is with her daughter. She thinks about their conversation two nights ago, and knows the woman will make an amazing mother. 

She wonders if in the future, if things ever feel normal again, if her and Alex would ever work. If she could give Alex everything they discussed the night before. Ruby never liked the few significant others Sam had trusted and liked enough to introduce to her. She always found a flaw that rendered them not good enough and never tried to connect.

With Alex, she already adored her, but would dating Alex change the way Ruby felt about her? Were those people really not good enough for Sam or was Ruby just against Sam dating? She doesn’t know if she could risk Ruby’s feelings by pursuing Alex. Though, Ruby seemed excited by the idea when she asked Sam about it.

Her musings are interrupted by a text and her attention to what’s going on around her finally returns.

“Lena is here, Ruby,” Sam announces. The two of them are still babbling about an experiment.

“Okay,” Ruby says. She hugs Alex tightly. “Thanks for always being the best,” she exclaims into Alex’s stomach before she rushes to grab her backpack and head to the door.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Sam asks.

Ruby chuckles and rushes over to Sam, hugging her even tighter. “I love you, mom.” She holds her tightly trying to convey just how much she means it. 

Sam kisses her head. “I love you too, Ruby.”

She finally lets go and rushes back towards the door again, waiving as she closes the door behind her.

Both women stare at the door and smile fondly for a moment before they look at each other.

“She’s such a great kid,” Alex tells Sam, her fondness shining through.

“She worships the ground you walk on,” Sam chuckles, stepping further into the room. She leans again the counter opposite of the one Alex is leaning against.

“No one could replace her mother,” Alex assures her, hoping Sam isn’t under the impression that Ruby loves her more.

“No, but she has room for more than one,” Sam shoots back.

Alex feels like she has to do a double take, like she didn’t just hear Sam say that. “Sam I-“

“Ruby loves you,” Sam interrupts her. “I just want you to know, that wherever our friendship goes in the future, I trust you with her. I think you’ve earned the right to see yourself as Ruby’s mother in some fashion, and I don’t ever plan to take that away from you.”

Alex can’t help but cry a little bit over Sam’s proposal. She wishes she could express how much it means to her.

Sam sees Alex’s tears and steps towards her. “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Sam says softly.

Alex pulls her into a tight hug and the two hold on to each other for longer than platonically necessary. “Thank you,” Alex whispers into the brunette’s neck. The I love you that follows is silent.

Sam finally brings herself to tear away and she plants a gentle peck to Alex’s cheek, before she retreats.

Alex sits stunned for a minute but she tries to play it cool. She tries to compose herself and wipe her eyes. “You’re sure you’re not trying to make the badass agent look all teary eyed before she needs to go to work?” She laughs out.

“Never,” Sam laughs back. “You’re always a badass agent, even when you’re crying.”

“You don’t think it would tarnish my reputation?” Alex asks.

Sam grins at her and shakes her head. “You’re Alex Danvers, DEO agent extraordinaire and well renowned hardass,” she says in jest, pausing for a moment. “Except when it comes to us Arias women.”

“You two are my Kryptonite,” Alex agrees. Sam’s heart soars and if she knew she could, she would have kissed Alex then and there. 

Alex looks down at her watch and frowns. “I need to go to work.”

“I think I want to go back,” Sam lets slip. She’s been thinking about it over the weekend and she wants to get back to her old life before she changes her mind.

“To the DEO?” Alex asks, praying the woman isn’t trying to revert to being under lock and key.

“No, of course not, Alex,” Sam assures her. “I plan to talk to Lena today about going back to work. Sorry, I’ve been wanting to bring it up but I wasn’t sure until now,” Sam explains.

“Wow,” Alex says, a little shocked this day has finally come. “Okay.”

“Just okay? Tell me how you feel?” Sam begs. “Do you not think I’m ready?”

Alex shakes her head and steps forward, taking Sam’s hand. “I feel that if you’re confident that you’re ready to go back, then you’re ready to go back. I’ve always thought you were ready, Sam. You are the strongest person I’ve ever met.”

She swoons at that. Sam doesn’t understand how this woman somehow knows the perfect words to say all the time.

“Okay,” Sam whispers, her knees weak with desire to kiss the agent.

“Okay,” Alex breathes. She squeezes her hand once and lets it go. “We can talk more about it when I get home? You’ll let me know what Lena says?” Alex asks excitedly.

“Of course,” Sam nods. “Have a good day, Alex.”

“I’ll see you later,” she promises heading out the door. She shoves the I love you threatening to come out, down into her throat. She ignores that its always at the tip of her tongue when she talks to Sam lately.

\----------------------

Her phone rings, but she is in the middle of a breakthrough with Winn so she ignores it. Coville has escaped from prison and they fear he is developing another bomb.

It rings again and she looks down to see it’s Lena.

She decides Lena can wait and continues looking through files with Winn.

On the third call, Winn demands that she answer it.

She swipes the answer button and forces the phone up to her ear. “Now is really not a good-“

“Sam is missing,” Lena interrupts.

“What?” Alex demands, her heart sinking at the thought.

“I dropped Ruby off at home and we noticed the front door was left wide open. I went inside to look for Sam and she wasn’t home.” Lena explains.

“You don’t think,” Alex refuses to say it. She can’t bring herself to admit Reign could have emerged.

“I’m not sure, Alex. But it looks like there was a struggle. Kara will be there shortly so you can begin looking. I will take care of Ruby and help put the house back together, just please find her,” Lena begs.

Alex is sure she will without question. She hangs up with the CEO and begins barking orders at Winn to start scanning national city for Sam.

They spend the entire day scanning the city remotely and by air but find zero evidence of Sam or Reign.

Alex is pacing the DEO command center, when J’onn and Kara return from another scan of the city.

“We need to talk this out for a minute, we need to know if we are looking for Sam or Reign,” Kara says.

“She is right. If it is Sam, she was kidnapped, we can narrow it down to who would kidnap her. If it is Reign we need to figure out how to summon her,” J’onn explains.

“Coville would know how to summon her,” Kara realizes aloud.

“Coville would also want to kidnap Sam to summon Reign,” Alex adds, coming to a realization. “Winn I need you to look harder for any sort of development plans, property, storage spaces in Coville’s name. We need to increase the hunt for this guy. You guys look for him instead of Sam,” Alex directs to J’onn and Kara.

They find him in the early hours of the morning at a warehouse by the docks.

Between Alex, Kara and J’onn they easily overpower him and his followers and find Sam in a lead and Kryptonite laced box hooked up to several brain monitors. 

Alex quickly unhooks them and J’onn lifts Sam from the gurney. “I will bring her to the DEO for assessment,” he tells her before flying off.

After Thomas and his crew are arrested and taken away, Alex examines what he was doing. She panics thinking how close they could have gotten to awakening Reign.

“Kara take me to the DEO,” she demands.

Kara doesn’t hesitate, lifting Alex and flying off after J’onn.

\----------------------

“Deep brain stimulation?” Kara repeats, having just heard it from Lena over the phone. They are all gathered at the DEO talking about the situation. Alex was describing the equipment at Thomas’s storage unit when Lena interrupted.

“They were trying to wake Reign,” J’onn realizes out loud.

“Could they have done it, J’onn?” Lena’s voice asks through the phone. 

“Could they have done it?” Alex shrieks. “You don’t know if this could have awakened Reign? Why didn’t you think that should be one of your tests?”

“Deep brain stimulation is not some everyday goings on in Sam’s life. It is deliberate. I never thought someone would-“ she stops. “I’m sorry.”

“Sam is strong, I believe that she could have held Reign off, even if they were able to delve deep enough into her psyche to reach her,” J’onn says. “We will have to see how she feels when she wakes up.”

Alex stays by her side for hours until Sam finally wakes. She is at her bedside, hand gripping Sam’s tightly. She smiles and squeezes her hand as she comes to.

Sam looks to be in shock, before she realizes she is actually awake. She grips Alex’s hand even harder and pleads. “Oh, thank God. Thank God.”

“You’re okay, Sam,” Alex assures her. She doesn’t let anything stop her anymore. She refuses to let fear hold her back from intimacy.

She pulls Sam’s hand up to her lips and kisses it softly. She sees the brunette’s eyes close momentarily and peace envelope her for a brief moment. “You’re at the DEO, you’re safe.”

“I saw her,” Sam says, shaking her head and falling into Alex’s accepting arms. “She’s still in there. She’s deep. I pushed her further but they were helping her get stronger. Alex, she can still get out.”

“You’re stronger than her, Sam. You just said it,” Alex tells her. She tightens her embrace for a moment and releases the brunette.

“But someone figured out how to strengthen her,” Sam gasps, looking the redhead in the eyes. “I have to train. Can J’onn meet me in the quiet room?” She asks Alex.

“Sam I think you should rest,” Alex tells her.

“I am fine. I still have my powers, I feel strong. I need to strengthen my mind,” Sam explains. “I need to train with J’onn.”

Alex nods. “I will tell him to meet you there,” she agrees.

“Thank you,” Sam breathes, holding Alex in place a moment longer. “I do plan to come home tonight,” she promises, recognizing Alex’s concern that they’ve just fallen back to step one.

Alex sighs in relief. “Thank you,” she says, squeezing Sam’s hand before releasing it and leaving Sam to get dressed.

\----------------------

Sam is meditating in the quiet room, when J’onn finally arrives.

“You are getting better than me at that,” he laughs entering the room. “You’re working on closing your mind up, are you not?”

“Yes,” Sam nods, her eyes remaining closed while she continues her form.

“Well I can tell you, I do not hear your thoughts, Sam. I believe that should be a testament to your success. Maybe resting should be your priority instead,” J’onn suggests.

“I need to get stronger to keep Reign in,” Sam sighs. “Those men got too close.”

“Those men are the only group of people who know who you are and how to hurt you. They are secured where they will never hurt you again,” J’onn assures her.

“We can’t be too sure,” Sam argues back. “I need to be stronger than Reign.”

“Your problem is not your strength. You are extremely strong willed and determined, Sam. Your problem is your fear. I have gotten to know you plenty through our sessions. I know when you were younger you were freer and less fearful. You did things in the name of fear. You moved out at 16, raised a child on your own, went to college while raising a daughter and graduated, and fought your way to CFO of a major corporation. Somewhere along the lines, your fears grew and consumed you. That is how Reign was able to emerge and control you. She has been manipulating your fears,” J’onn tells her.

“I’ve allowed myself to go home and be around my daughter, I’m working on training and learning to control my powers. I’m ready to go back to work at L Corp. What more fears could I have to face?” Sam wonders.

“You still fear your powers, Sam. It is why you do not want to join the DEO. If you continue to use them, you will gain an unbridled and indivisible connection with your powers that even Reign may not be able to manipulate,” he explains.

“You want me to join as well?” Sam asks.

“I think you would be as much an asset to the team as being a part of the team would be an asset to you,” He tells her.

She nods her head and ponders it. “You really think this is my best option?” She asks.

“Conquer your fear of your powers and you will conquer your powers,” he assures her. “Once you have conquered your fear, then you must tackle your guilt. Alex tells me nightmares still plague you. These nightmares stem from the guilt. Take care of your conscience and your restlessness will follow suit.”

“You think working for the DEO will clear my conscience?” Sam questions.

“The clearing of your conscience is entirely up to you Sam. I cannot tell a person what makes them worthy of forgiveness in their own eyes. But, you have been dealt a gift. If you choose to, you could help do a lot of good by yielding this gift to assist us like Supergirl,” he explains.

Sam nods. “I’ll do it,” she confirms.

“Good,” he smiles at her proudly. “I have Winn already designing your suit.”

Upon that admission, Sam realizes J’onn was never going to take no for an answer. She accepts defeat by the wiser man and joins him in performing their practiced techniques.

\----------------------

When they get home, Sam heads toward the kitchen to get a glass of water. Alex follows her silently and leans against the counter, taking in Sam’s movements. She sees that she is nervous, but is unsure why. “What’s wrong?” She wonders.

“J’onn told me to stop letting fear control me,” Sam sighs.

“You guys spent a long time together,” Alex replies. “Is that what has you all worked up?”

“We had to talk through some things that were blocking my healing,” Sam explains. 

“And?” Alex wonders.

“And I need to stop being too afraid to do the things I need to do to move on,” she laughs. “So, Winn is working on a super suit for me,” Sam explains.

“Woah,” Alex exclaims. “That’s a huge step.”

“I still plan to go back to L Corp and I want to get that back down before I start going on missions, but J’onn thinks working for the DEO may be cathartic,” Sam is bouncing with joy and gravitating towards Alex as she explains.

“That’s amazing,” Alex grins. “You don’t need to be nervous. Kara and I will be here for you. You’re strong and determined. I know you’ll do great.”

“That’s not what’s got me like this,” she laughs. “I mean don’t get me wrong, working for the DEO as a superhero is terrifying in itself. But, I think there is one other fear holding me back,” Sam adds.

“What’s that?” Alex wonders.

“You,” Sam admits, her eyebrows raised at the redhead.

“I’m one of your fears?” Alex questions, worrying that somehow she has stunted Sam’s progress.

“I’ve been too afraid to move on. Afraid that when everything goes back to normal that you will move out. I’m afraid of how attached I’ve grown to you. I’m afraid of how Ruby and I will go on without you in our lives every day. The fear of losing you, has been one of the reasons I haven’t wanted to move forward too quickly,” Sam finally admits as she steps towards the redhead, until she is directly in front of her.

“I’ve already told you I will stay for as long as you need me, Sam,” Alex promises. 

“What if that ends up being forever?” Sam asks softly.

“Sam, I-“ Alex stutters, not knowing how to reply. She has no idea if she’s misunderstanding what the brunette is telling her or if she’s correctly heard the admission.

“I can’t force you to put your life on hold to carry all my baggage,” Sam says sadly. “If I don’t let you go, I don’t know if I ever will be able to do this without you.” Alex looks hurt, and Sam pushes herself to continue to get through her fears. “And I really, really need to know I can do this without you for this relationship to be healthy. I want to have it all together, Alex. And then, I want to take you on a date.” She tries to sound confident, but the excess air in her lungs that comes out at the end of her sentence gives way to all her nerves. “I-if that’s something you’d be interested in?”

Alex doesn’t say anything. Instead, she pushes forward towards Sam, and cups her cheek within her hand. “I’m going to kiss you now, Samantha Arias,” Alex warns her, giving her only a second to protest before soft lips press unto her own.

Sam doesn’t hesitate, returning the kiss with fervor. She wraps her arms around Alex’s waist and pulls the redhead in, eliminating all space between them. She’s never felt so complete in her life before. It’s not all fireworks and buzzing, it’s wholeness and finality. 

Alex runs her hands through Sam’s hair, then cradles her neck to deepen the kiss. The final tumbler falls into place, and Sam feels like she’s falling. She never wants to let go but Alex begins to push away and Sam reluctantly pulls back.

Alex presses her forehead to Sam’s, and gasps in between breathless chuckles. “Don’t forget us humans need air,” Alex breathes.

Sam grins apologetically, while she lets Alex catch her breath. She closes her eyes and sighs. “I’m really glad you did that,” Sam laughs. “But, I wish you hadn’t because how am I ever supposed to wait to do it again?”

“I’m sorry, I should have asked-“

Lips silence Alex’s words. It’s a brief peck, before Sam pulls back again and shakes her head.

“I don’t regret it,” Sam tells her. “I just want to wait, until we can be normal. And we can’t do that until I am normal. Well, as normal as I can be with a villain in my brain and superhuman powers. I need to make sure that I can go back to being a mom, and CFO, and start being a superhero on my own.”

“As in, without me?” Alex wonders, earning a sad nod from the brunette. “You want me to move out?” Alex asks, realizing where Sam is going with this.

“I can vehemently confirm that is not what I _want_ at all,” Sam frowns. “This is the most difficult choice I have had to make since waking up from that coma, but, I think it is the best decision for us. I need to make sure I can be me, Alex. I need to regain my life and autonomy.” Sam sighs, tears pooling in her eyes.

Alex wants to feel hurt but she knows it’s selfish. She knows this was not an easy decision for Sam. She knows it was inevitable that she move back home eventually. What stings is that she has tasted Sam’s lips, tasted being a family with her and Ruby, felt the possibility of this being permanent. But she gets that a relationship built on dependency is not a relationship worth building. She holds herself together for Sam, remains the stronger of the two, because she knows this is hurting Sam too.

“I understand, Sam. I’m the first to know how moving too quickly can doom a relationship,” Alex agrees, earning a thankful smile from the brunette. “Don’t keep me waiting too long,” Alex tells her, attempting to play down her turmoil. She takes Sam’s hand into hers and idly plays with them to hide her disappointment.

“I don’t know how you can be so eager,” Sam laughs. “I’m terrible at this whole thing,” she says waving her free hand between the two of them. “There’s a reason I haven’t dated since Ruby was seven.”

“Seven?” Alex repeats, her jaw dropping. When Sam nods her head sadly, she backtracks. “I just mean, Sam, wow. People fall all over you when you step into a room. You’re smart, funny, gorgeous, down to earth and an amazing mother. I’m just surprised.”

“It was hard, with Ruby and attempting to climb the corporate ladder,” she explains. “I think eventually I just gave up when nothing ever panned out.”

“So we take it slow, see where this goes,” Alex says.

“Slow,” Sam laughs. “So I guess this isn’t the time to admit how terrified I am that you’re moving out.”

“Whenever you need me, Sam,” Alex tells her. “I’ll be here.”

Sam sighs in response and falls into Alex’s arms. “I think I always will,” she admits sadly. 

Alex holds her tightly and kisses her forehead. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.”

“I don’t think you realize how accustomed to you I’ve grown,” Sam laughs, embracing Alex back just as securely. “And Ruby,” Sam adds before gasping and pulling back. “We’ve got to tell Ruby you’re going to move out. She’s going to be distraught.”

“We’ll tell her together,” Alex tells her confidently. “She’s smart and strong like you, she will understand.”

\----------------------

Ruby does not understand.

A night of relief that Sam is home and okay quickly turns into a screaming match.

“I don’t get it,” Ruby practically yells, tears in her eyes. “You can’t go Alex!”

They’re seated at the dinner table, meals almost gone before Sam and Alex break the news to Ruby. 

“Sweetie, Alex has her own apartment and life she needs to get back to. This was never permanent. She was helping us out and I’m forever thankful for her for it. But we need to get back to our normal lives. I can’t continue to keep Alex from her own home and family,” Sam explains. She tries to put the blame on herself, tries to avoid making Alex seem like the bad guy.

“But we’re her family too!” Ruby shouts.

“Of course we are and she is welcome here whenever she likes. You will still get to see her Ruby, she just won’t live here anymore,” Sam tells her.

Ruby shakes her head, unwilling to listen to her mother. “This is all your fault. I hate you,” she yells at Sam. She pushes her chair back, gets up and rushes to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Sam frowns at Alex, tears in her eyes. Alex strokes her cheek and kisses her forehead.

“She doesn’t mean it. Let me talk to her?” Alex asks.

Sam nods her head, her cheeks stained with the tears that have begun to fall. Alex wants to hold her and never let her go, but the other Arias is in need of an embrace just as badly, and making Ruby feel better will help comfort Sam.

“Hey,” Alex says softly, pressing Sam’s chin up to look at her. “We will be okay,” she assures her.

Sam nods her head sullenly. Alex leans down and leaves her with a gentle kiss before she heads upstairs to Ruby’s room.

She knocks and hears a sobbed “go away” hurled through the door in response.  
“Rubes,” Alex says softly. “Please let me talk to you.”

She waits a moment and when she hears no further response or denials, she opens the door slowly.

She finds Ruby curled up in bed, her face pressed into a pillow as she cries.

“Why can’t you just stay,” Ruby cries. “Convince her to let you stay.”

Alex shakes her head and takes a seat on the bed, rubbing Ruby’s back softly. “Honey, your mom isn’t doing this to hurt you and she isn’t forcing me to leave. This was never meant to be permanent and we made this decision together. It wasn’t an easy choice, but it is the right decision.”

“How can it be when we won’t be a family anymore?” Ruby tells her.

“Of course we will, Ruby,” Alex exclaims. “I love you so much. I’ll be here whenever you guys need me or will have me over. And you’re always welcome over with your mom’s permission. I’ll still be at all your soccer games, and game nights, and we can still have movie nights just us girls.”

“Why can’t you just stay here?” Ruby asks.

“Because your mother and I are adults and we have things we need to do whether we like it or not. We need to move on and get back to our lives and the commitments we have made. I need to get back to the commitments I’ve made,” Alex tells her. She wants to emphasize that this wasn’t just Sam’s decision so Ruby won’t blame her.

Ruby wipes her eyes and sniffles a few times before speaking. “I’m still not happy about it,” she tells Alex honestly.

“None of us are, Rubes,” Alex sighs. “Your mom has been through a lot and she is hurting too,” she informs Ruby. “This isn’t easy for her, and you hurt her even more with your words.”

“I didn’t mean it,” Ruby replies hastily, new tears beginning to form in her eyes.

“I think your mom is the one who needs to hear that,” Alex replies.

Ruby nods her head and climbs out of bed, racing downstairs to find her mother.

Alex follows less hastily, allowing them to have a moment. She finds them in the kitchen, Ruby and Sam embracing, as Ruby apologizes over and over for what she said.

Sam of course accepts her apology, kissing her forehead and telling her it’s okay until her tears finally stop.

They end up on the couch watching Pitch Perfect, the three of them polishing off a gallon of ice cream together before Ruby crashes halfway through the movie.

When it’s over, Sam carries Ruby up to bed.

Alex watches as Sam cradles her daughter’s head close to her chest, and holds onto her tighter than any other time Alex has witnessed this routine. 

When Sam finally returns downstairs, Alex has the kitchen cleaned and the house locked down.

Sam steps over to her and Alex pulls her into a hug. She feels Sam relax into her immediately.

“This has been a long and emotional day,” Alex tells her, kissing the side of her head.

“You’re telling me,” Sam agrees, laughing.

Alex pulls back and looks Sam in the eyes, a serious look donning her face. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Sam. I was terrified I’d lost you.”

“Even unconscious, I knew in my mind that you would find me. It’s what kept me fighting against Reign,” Sam admits.

Alex feels the words “I love you,” threatening to bubble out. She kisses Sam instead, soft and gentle, loving but brief. 

“I will always find you,” Alex promises her.

Sam places her head against Alex’s shoulder and sighs. She has never felt as content and safe as she does in Alex’s arms. “I can’t believe I only have one more night of this,” Sam says sadly.

“For now,” Alex replies, and it’s all Sam needs to assure her that they will all be alright.


	8. Relapse

Sam has been back at L Corp for a few weeks now. She’s working long hours and still immensely behind. At Lena’s behest, she takes weekends off which doesn’t help with clearing her agenda.

Alex surprises her almost daily with lunch or dinner or both. 

Ruby spends afternoons in soccer practice, at a friend’s house, or at L Corp doing her homework. 

On Saturdays Sam attends Ruby’s soccer matches with Alex. Sometimes, Lena and Kara join. She spends most of Sunday at the DEO training. Her weeks turn into a juggling routine.

Winn whipped up an amazing supersuit for her. It is more red and white than blue, and thankfully doesn’t feature a skirt. The crest is subtly inlaid in the special lightweight armor built within the suit, rather than colorfully displayed. Her training now includes wearing the suit and Kara has been working on cape tricks with her. 

She knows she will be asked to attend a mission any day now and it both excites and terrifies her.

Today, though, they are attending Ruby’s graduation. Sam has invited the entire gang, including J’onn, Winn, and James.

They’re waiting outside the auditorium for the doors to open for the ceremony. A few other groups of parents are early as well and doing the same.

“I’m going to run to the bathroom,” Sam whispers in Alex’s ear.

Alex nods at her and Sam rushes off towards the ladies’ room.

Sam is waiting in line for the bathroom when she hears the ladies in front of her talking.

“I feel so bad for the boy, just his grandmother here with him today,” the petite, brunette, woman tisks in front of her.

“It’s a shame she’s all he has left,” her taller, blonde friend replies.

“She doesn’t look like she will make it very long,” the first woman replies. “Poor boy will be an orphan.”

“Well at least Reign is no longer around to tear families apart anymore like she did to the poor child,” the blonde says and her friend hums back her agreement.

Sam nearly goes into a panic attack. Three stalls open up at once and she rushes into one. She sits down and breathes deeply, counting slowly back from ten over and over again. 

She tries every technique her therapist taught her and nothing seems to be working for a while.

She breaths in and out, and tries to calm herself while she thinks of Ruby and Alex.

She hasn’t had a panic attack, let alone one this bad, since a few weeks after she came home.

“Sam,” she hears Alex call. That voice brings her down almost immediately. “Sam are you still in here?”

She breathes deeply a few more times. “Yes,” she answers before opening the stall door.

Alex rushes up to her and cups her cheek, noticing their red hue and the worry in Sam’s eyes. “Are you okay? The doors are open and everyone went to grab us seats.”

Sam places her hand over Alex’s and smiles briefly. “Just can’t believe Ruby is going to high school,” Sam covers.

Alex swipes her thumb across Sam’s cheek affectionately and kisses her very briefly. “We’ve still got a few more years,” Alex says before taking Sam’s hand and leading her out. “Besides, we will have another one day.”

Sam smiles and squeezes Alex’s hand in response. They share a look full of so much longing and promise that had anyone else seen it, they’d think Alex had just proposed.

They take their seats and wait for the ceremony to begin. Once the processional starts, Alex takes Sam’s hand and smiles at her.

Ruby graduates within the first few students because she is in the top of her class. Sam can’t contain her pride, and when her daughter walks across the stage, Alex squeezes her hand.

She smiles a huge grin and leans into the woman next to her.

The rest of the group pretend not to notice the little bubble the two of them are clearly in.

The excitement ends by the hundredth kid called.

Sam finds herself in her thoughts, wondering which one is the boy whose life she ruined. Those parents had no idea they were gossiping about the very same person they were standing next to. She was a murderer and there are people’s lives she has ruined for decades to come.

She feels the consequence of her actions knowing that a young boy will continue to grow up without parents and could possibly end up orphaned and bitter and completely screwed up for life.  
She feels selfish to be able to watch her daughter graduate right now, when this young boy’s parents can’t.

She’s so caught up in her own thoughts that she doesn’t even realize the ceremony had ended. Alex is squeezing her hand and indicating that she should stand up.

“Sam?” She says. “Where’d you go?”

“Sorry, I was lost in thought,” Sam chuckles, trying to brush it off as she follows Alex down the risers.

“You don’t feel like you’re getting old, do you?” Alex jokes.

“Are you kidding? Have you seen this body?” Sam asks in jest.

“Oh trust me, I have,” Alex replies in a low tone and Sam shivers in response. 

“You haven’t seen anything, yet,” Sam replies, arching her brow at the redhead. Alex gulps and wishes she could whisk the brunette aside and kiss her. But she knows they’re moving slowly and they haven’t decided to tell any of their friends yet. 

The rest of the group witnesses it, half of them having no idea how to respond. Kara clears her throat and Alex’s and Sam’s cheeks both deepen into a ruby color. 

They head back to Sam’s house for cake and celebrations where they’re joined by the rest of their friends. Only Kara and Alex remain by late afternoon. They help Sam clean up while Ruby plays with the new science kit Lena put together for her.

Sam almost said no until Alex looked it over and agreed it was safe enough for Ruby to use without burning the house down or hurting herself.

Kara and Alex get a call at the same time, and Sam knows they both will be leaving for some mission. Kara ends the call first and immediately heads for the balcony and takes off.

Alex strides over to Sam and frowns. “They need us,” she says sadly.

“Of course they do,” Sam sighs. “I’m just glad it waited until after Ruby’s festivities were over.”

“See, sometimes the universe _is_ on our side,” Alex laughs.

“Seems like it,” Sam agrees.

“I can come back if you need me,” Alex promises, kissing the brunette’s cheek before grabbing her keys and running out. “Just call me,” she says before shutting the door behind her. Sam knows she won’t be back tonight.

Alex has been living back at her apartment for a few weeks now. But when Sam calls her, the redhead arrives as quickly as possible and soothes her back to sleep without question.

Tonight, she was sure though, she needed Alex to stay with her. She planned on talking to her about what happened at Ruby’s ceremony. She knew tonight she shouldn’t be alone.  
So maybe the universe wasn’t on their side.

\----------------------

Sam awakens at midnight after a nightmare involving the little boy and his parents. She remembers exactly who they are as the memories from Reign are referenced and brought forth unconsciously.

She tries to breathe deeply and meditate a bit. J’onn told her that her guilt is one of the things holding her back. She needs to let go of the guilt. 

Eventually she feels comfortable enough to sleep again.

When she wakes again it’s from her typical nightmares. She is Reign and she is trying to attack Ruby and Alex. 

It doesn’t take much effort for her to ignore it and try to return to sleep.

When Sam wakes again at 3:30 in the morning, she’s crying. She gasps and sobs as she tries to tell herself it was just a dream. She reaches for Alex and sniffles when she remembers the redhead isn’t here.

She wipes her eyes and tries texting Alex.

I’m missing you tonight. Sam sends.

Do you need me? I might be able to sneak away until the morning. Alex replies.

I will be fine. Be safe. Sam texts back. She wants to fold and ask Alex to come by, but it sounds like the redhead is busy and Sam doesn’t want to be so needy.

She tries to go back to sleep but she can’t. She remains awake for the rest of the night, thinking of her dream.

It was about Coville and his group manipulating her brain to help Reign reemerge. Someone else was able to do it and do it successfully. Sam’s conscious was destroyed by Reign in a one on one fight within their brain. Sam was gone, she could no longer stop the villain.

What terrified Sam the most was the truth the dream revealed. Alex, Kara, the DEO and Lena were the only group who could affectively stop Reign. But none of them would be willing to kill Sam if that’s what it would take to defeat Reign. None of them would risk her life for the good of everyone else’s.

She knows she needs to have a failsafe. She knows she needs it to ensure no matter what that Reign will be defeated if she emerges, her own life be damned. She knows that Lena would never help her do it, but she knows another Luthor who will.

It’s 5 am when Sam decides she needs to figure this out immediately. She gets up, gets dressed and leaves a note for Ruby stating she went in to work early and to have a good first day at soccer camp.

She calls out sick and arrives at the prison Lillian is being held at two hours later. She jumps through every hoop to visit the woman. Luckily she recognizes Sam’s name and accepts the visitation.

She finally takes a seat in front of the woman on the other side of the glass around 9 am.

Lillian looks her up and down snidely before putting the phone to her ear. “To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from my daughter’s best friend?” She asks.

“I need your help,” Sam admits.

“What could you possibly need my help with? I don’t have access to my money,” Lillian dismisses. 

“I don’t need your money, I need your resources,” Sam explains.

Lillian raises her eyebrow at that. “Go on,” she replies.

“I am going to admit something that is both sensitive and hard to believe,” Sam warns her.

“Just get out with it, my time is precious even in here,” Lillian scolds her.

“I am Reign. Well, Reign is in me, uh, in my brain. She is trapped but I am afraid she may get out,” Sam tells her.

“Reign, the Kryptonian worldkiller? You think she is trapped in your brain?” Lillian laughs. “That’s preposterous.”

“It is true, I have powers now Lillian, I am half Kryptonian,” Sam argues. “She changed my DNA.”

“Prove it,” Lillian goads her.

Sam thinks about how for a moment before she takes her watch off. She holds the face between her thumbs and forefingers and sends a beam of laser visions towards it, melting it in her hands.

“Why would you ever think I’d help your kind,” Lillian gasps.

“I need you to put a failsafe in me, something that will kill Reign if she emerges,” Sam pleads.

“And why shouldn’t I just have you killed along with Supergirl?” Lillian wonders.

“Because I’m not fully Kryptonian, I’m not your enemy or a threat, I’m your daughter’s best friend, and Reign will exterminate the world if she emerges,” Sam lists.

Lillian takes a moment to think about it before she sighs.

“I know someone who can help,” the older Luthor relents. “Leave this place and head towards downtown National City. You will receive a text message with directions. Go there,” she instructs.

Sam leaves the prison and does as she is told. She is halfway to downtown when she gets a text leading her to the warehouse district.

There she meets an affiliate of Lillian who goes by the name Abraham. He welcomes her and introduces her before his colleagues.

“Ms. Arias, I have been expecting you,” He smiles. Abraham is a lanky man, with thin black hair and a crooked nose. When he smiles, whether genuine or not, it draws a shudder from its target.

She doesn’t trust him as far as she could throw him, but he is all she has. “Yes, has Lillian told you why I am here?” She asks.

“You want me to install Kryptonite into your heart,” he answers nonchalantly.

She sputters for a moment shaking her head. “No I need you to put a failsafe in me to kill Reign if she emerges,” she corrects.

“That is what I said,” he shrugs. 

“That’s your plan? Kryptonite in my heart?” She asks, the worry in her voice evident.

“My associates have been putting together a machine since we got Lillian’s call. It is almost done. It will read your DNA sequence. Should Reign reemerge you will become fully Kryptonian. If the machine reads fully Kryptonian DNA it will release 100 times the lethal amount of Kryptonite it would take to kill Supergirl or Superman, straight into your heart,” he explains.

“Where did you get this much Kryptonite?” She demands.

“It is not a question of how much my dear,” he answers. “I have had a sample for decades. I have experimented on ways to increase its concentration and have been very successful,” he grins.

Sam shudders. “Is this how you know Lillian Luthor? Are you attempting to use this to kill Supergirl for her?”

He laughs loudly for a moment. “Me and my colleagues here were all Luthor Corp scientists and doctors that were dropped by the company when it became L Corp. We were less ethical than Lena would have liked, all in your good favor now, Sam,” he chuckles. “But, we do not believe in the same things Lillian does, like the eradication of aliens. We have just built a few weapons for her to make ends meet so we can pursue our own research. Nothing that would ever have been used to hurt Supergirl, though,” he defends.

She isn’t entirely satisfied with his answer, but if he doesn’t kill her that may confirm he isn’t as bad as he seems. Her life is in his hands and if he wants to kill Kryptonians this is his chance. Besides, what choice does she have? “What is the plan?” She asks.

“We will place you under using Kryptonite to weaken you and then use anesthesia and general surgical practices. We will open you up and install the device to your heart, sew you up, remove the Kryptonite weakening you, and put you under a sun lamp to heal. If all goes well you will be home before dinner,” he tells her.

“I can handle much more Kryptonite than a typical Kryptonian,” Sam explains. “You will need almost 3 times what it takes to weaken Supergirl. Are you still sure you can complete this surgery?”

“Of course,” he nods. “I request one thing though.”

“What is that?” She asks.

“When we are done and you are released, you are to tell no one who we are or where we are,” he tells her.

“I promise if you save me from myself, I will not tell a soul of this,” she says.

He nods and they begin the process of prepping Sam for surgery.

Several hours later, Sam awakens in recovery. She is under a sun lamp and feels no effects of the surgery at all. She checks her chest and sees it is completely healed.

“The surgery was a success Ms. Arias. You are welcome to leave whenever,” Abraham tells her.

“That’s it?” She asks, getting up from the bed.

“That is it, Sam,” he nods. “I have an imaging scan if you’d like to see proof of the device’s installation.”

“I would, please,” she asks.

He pulls the scan up on a nearby monitor. Sam stares at it long and hard for a few moments before she runs her hand along the device on the screen. She releases a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Abraham,” she says.

“I ask only that you use what powers you do have for good, Ms. Arias. Like I said, we do not share Lillian’s beliefs. Join paths with Supergirl and make a difference like she does,” he advises her.

Sam smiles at him and nods. “Of course I will Abraham. I just needed the assurance that I am in control and that Reign will never hurt anyone ever again.”

“I am happy to have provided you with that peace of mind,” he smiles and for once Sam doesn’t shudder. “You have a good life, Sam.”

She shakes his hand and heads home. She feels new and unburdened. She feels free for the first time in a long time.

\----------------------

Abraham was right about returning home before dinner. It’s barely even dusk when she walks into the house. She doesn’t expect to find Alex, Kara, Lena and Ruby all waiting in the living room for her. 

Alex and Ruby rush to her first. The redhead looks her up and down and examines her to make sure she’s safe, while Ruby wraps her arms around her tightly.

“Where have you been?” Lena asks.

“I- I,” Sam stutters having no idea what to say. “I needed a day to myself. I needed to think,” Sam lies.

“And that included the need to visit my mother in prison?” Lena asks, crossing her arms angrily.

Sam can’t believe she has been caught. She sighs, knowing lying will only make it worse.

“Ruby go to your room,” Sam tells her daughter.

“But mom-“

“Listen to your mother, Ruby,” Alex backs Sam up. The young Arias huffs and trudges off to her bedroom. 

“Do you always spy on your mother?” Sam questions once Ruby is gone. She wonders how she got caught.

“I monitor her visits to make sure she isn’t communicating with anyone dangerous,” Lena admits. “I never thought it’d reveal my CFO called in sick to go see my mother. So why did you visit?” She asks again.

“I needed her help,” Sam admits.

“What could you possibly need her help for, Sam?” Lena demands. “If she knew what you were, she’d try to kill you too.”

“She knows what I am,” Sam sighs. “It’s the risk I had to take.”

“For what, Sam?” Kara wonders softly, sensing the frustration of the other women in the room and trying to ease the tension.

“I needed her resources to help me find someone to install a failsafe if Reign emerged,” Sam explains.

“Sam, you didn’t,” Alex pleads. Her eyes are glossy with tears and Sam feels bad for being the cause once again. But, she knows this was something she had to do.

“I met a man who helped me,” Sam admits. “Everything was safe. I am fine and we never have to worry about Reign ever again,” she promises.

“What did they do, Sam?” Lena asks, desperation in her voice now.

“They installed a device. If Reign awakens, my DNA will become fully Kryptonian and engage a Kryptonite kill switch in my heart,” she explains.

“That would kill the both of you,” Alex says.

“I would rather die before anyone else has to,” Sam admits. “I have dreamt too many nights of harming you or Ruby as Reign. I cannot risk living those dreams out.”

“You should have talked to us about it,” Alex argues.

“For you guys to try to talk me out of it? Alex, I wanted it to be a secret for this very reason. Reign may never emerge. But I need to make sure that if she ever does, she will never hurt the people I love ever again,” she explains. 

Alex just shakes her head. She grabs her helmet and her jacket and heads out the door, ignoring all three women in the room calling her name. She needs to get away and clear her thoughts.

“Why didn’t you ask me, Sam?” Lena wonders. 

“I knew for everything you are willing to do for me, you wouldn’t do this, Lena. I also didn’t want to put this burden on any of you nor the blame if it ever comes to being necessary. I never wanted you guys to know. But I know that if Reign emerges, you will do whatever you can to save me. And I can’t risk the amount of lives that will be lost at that expense,” Sam explains. 

Lena sighs. “I don’t agree, but I understand it. I just wish we could have figured out a better solution.” 

“Can you tell us who performed the procedure, how they got Kryptonite?” Kara wonders.

“I promised I wouldn’t say, but I will tell you he was trustworthy. He could have easily killed me and he didn’t. He used the majority of his Kryptonite supply to help me. He encouraged me to join Supergirl and asked only that I don’t reveal who he is. I trust him, Kara,” she says seriously.

“I trust you,” Kara nods, though Lena can recognize the same unease Kara has always shown to her regarding owning Kryptonite.

“Kara, now that I feel as though I am in control I would like to start joining on missions if you think I am ready.”

“Alex has had us waiting until you asked,” Kara grins. “I’m glad you finally feel ready.”

Sam smiles at Kara and Lena. “Thank you for always being so supportive,” Sam says to them, her eyes beginning to water. “I know you don’t agree with this decision, but I needed it to feel unburdened.”

“We understand,” Kara tells her. “Alex will too,” she promises. “This is how she’s always dealt with things. She just needs some time and then she will be back.”

Sam nods and wipes at the little bit of tears that have fallen.

“Come into the DEO on Monday and we will begin planning our next operation with you included,” Kara tells her as she heads to the door.

“Meet me in the lab so I can take a look at what they did to your heart when you get into work on Wednesday. You will take tomorrow off,” Lena tells her, hugging her before following Kara out. Sam knows there is no questioning Lena on this.

Sam texts Alex immediately after she is alone. I’m sorry. Please come back so we can talk.

She doesn’t get a response. She sighs and heads towards Ruby’s room. She finds her daughter lying in bed reading.

“Hey,” she says from the door jam.

“Hey,” Ruby replies. “Did you really visit Lena’s mom?”

“I did. It’s complicated Ruby. But she helped me make sure Reign will never hurt anyone ever again. So we can all get on with our lives and everything will be back to normal,” Sam explains.

“Wasn’t it already?” Ruby wonders.

“Outwardly, yes. But I was still scared of Reign and it was not good for my mental health,” Sam explains. “Your brain’s health is just as important as your body’s, okay, Ruby?”

“Okay. I understand,” she agrees, happy that everything is still alright and her mom is safe.

“What do you say we rent a movie and order a pizza?” Sam asks.

“Is Alex joining?” Ruby asks excitedly. She gets out of bed and the two of them head into the living room.

“She stepped out for the night,” Sam tells her.

“Did she say where she was going? If she’d come back?” Ruby asks.

“No,” Sam says.

“Is she mad at you?” Ruby wonders.

“Yes,” Sam admits through a sigh.

“She will forgive you,” Ruby shrugs like it’s the simplest thing in the world, plopping down on the couch. “She loves you,” she adds nonchalantly.

Sam’s heart flips at the thought and she dials the number for the pizza before she can allow herself to think about Alex anymore. She doesn’t want to cry in front of Ruby. She can only remind herself that maybe it was too soon to tell Alex how she felt.


	9. Absolution

Alex doesn’t return until almost noon the following day. 

Ruby is off at soccer camp and Sam is attempting to quell her anxiety by cleaning the kitchen. Alex didn’t return any of the four messages Sam sent her or answer any of Sam’s relentless phone calls. To keep herself from continuing to harass the redhead and give her space, she’s distracting herself with chores.

She hears the door shut and stands stark straight hoping it’s Alex who comes through the entryway. When she sees unmistakable red hair, she sighs a breath of relief. 

“Alex,” she says softly. She wants to take her into her arms and beg for her forgiveness. Instead she decides on giving Alex the space to air her grievances. She’s just thankful Alex came back.

Alex paces for a moment, gathering her thoughts before she stops. “I thought we had gotten past this,” she sighs, facing the brunette. She looks angry but mostly exhausted, defeated, like she didn’t sleep last night. Sam is sure she looks just as rough.

“I have never been able to get past this wall, Alex. This fear,” Sam answers. “J’onn told me fear was holding me back. I needed to be sure I had this final fear in check. I think maybe we should have waited like I said. Until I felt at peace with myself. All I’ve done is hurt you through this whole process,” she admits sadly.

“Don’t say that,” Alex sighs. “I don’t regret us Sam. It’s just... I’m worried because you won’t have a chance to come back to us. If Reign reemerges, you don’t even want the chance to fight?” Alex asks.

“I needed to be sure, Alex. If Reign reemerges she will have already defeated me and gotten past all the barrier J’onn has helped me build mentally. You will not end Reign if you think I am still there and I know I won’t be. I need to be sure she can’t hurt the people I love ever again,” Sam tells her.

“What about Ruby and I? You are willing to just leave us behind?” Alex asks.

“I did this because of you and Ruby,” Sam argues, her tone going from defeated to strong and serious as she continues. “I can’t let the fear of harming the people I love most hold me back any more. Do you know how much it gets to you? Dreaming of killing your child and the woman you love on a nightly basis? The fact that, when you wake up from that dream gasping and realizing it isn’t true, you dwell on it and realize it could happen. I needed this, Alex,” she says, the desperation in her voice. “I needed to know, whatever the outcome, you and Ruby are safe.”

Alex hears her. She hears the desperation; she hears the terror in her voice and understands why Sam felt it was necessary. Above all else, she hears Sam call her the woman she loves and she falls harder.   
She strides quickly up to the brunette, takes her face into her hands and kisses her with everything she has. She feels Sam shudder and breathe a quiet sob of relief as she gives in to meet the redhead’s demanding lips.

Alex pulls her as close as she can, wraps her arm around her back, while the other cradles her neck. She angles Sam’s neck backwards and deepens the kiss. Her free hand travels underneath the brunette’s shirt desperately seeking to feel the warmth of her skin.

Alex’s hand lies flat along Sam’s back. She snakes it slowly upwards and centers it in the middle, pressing Sam closer into her, as she captures her bottom lip between her own.

The space between them is nonexistent. When Alex releases Sam’s lip with a gentle pop, the two remain intertwined.

Alex pulls away and Sam hesitates a moment before she lets her go.

She instantly misses the warmth, when Alex’s hands retreat from her body. After being terrified Alex would never forgive her, she never wants to let her go. 

Alex doesn’t let go of her hands. “I’m hurt that you didn’t ask,” she sighs. “But I know I never would have agreed with you. I know why you had to do it behind our backs. It still hurts when the woman I love lies to my face and does something stupid like risk her life before I could tell her how I feel.”

“Alex,” Sam gasps.

“I don’t know if I will ever be okay with it. I know you did what you felt was necessary to feel safe, and as much as I don’t like that you did it, I know that I love you too, Sam. I am not going to let this hold me back from being with you. We have wasted so much time already,” Alex admits.

Sam smiles bigger than she ever thought possible. She tugs Alex into another impassioned kiss, reaching her hands up to caress her face.

Sam takes control, as she pushes Alex back. Alex gives in and lets her lead. 

Sam seeks entrance into Alex’s mouth and then it’s all tongue and heat. Alex’s back hit’s the wall and she gasps in surprise. Sam takes advantage and begins trailing hot, open mouthed kisses along Alex’s jaw. She nips a bit and Alex groans, before she trails kisses down her neck.

Alex takes a deep breath and cups Sam’s jaw, pulling the brunette from her assault on her neck. The both of them are breathless, eyes dark and full of lust. “Wait,” Alex breathes regretfully. “what about taking it slow?” She reminds her. They’ve always stopped once they’ve gotten this far, reluctantly pulling apart.

“I want you,” Sam replies, her voice deep and thick with desire.

Alex looks into her eyes and tries to see past the desire if this is really what Sam wants. “Are you sure?” She asks.

Sam smiles at her, cupping her cheek. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life,” she responds before softly kissing Alex. “I love you,” she whispers between soft pecks, relieved and ecstatic to finally have those three words out there. 

Alex nods when they pull apart and takes Sam’s hand before leading her towards the bedroom. She stops her in front of the bed and cups Sam’s jaw and kisses her softly and slowly. 

When they fall into each other, Alex takes her time mapping Sam’s body and singing her praises. To Sam’s agony she slowly lavishes every inch of skin with affection and admiration. She painstakingly takes her time admiring all of Sam before she gives into the brunette’s pleas and reduces her to a quivering mess.

Sam takes no time in delivering the same attention to the redhead before leaving her with a final kiss and falling back toward her side of the bed.

The two lie face to face, smiles wide while they admire each other for a few moments trying to catch their breaths, neither saying a word.

Alex gets lost in thoughts of how lucky she is to be lying next to such an incredible and beautiful woman. “Who would have ever thought almost two years ago when I met you, we would end up here,” Alex chuckles, finally breaking the silence.

“If you think me falling in love with you is more surprising than anything else that has happened since we met, you have your priorities in an odd order,” Sam laughs in response. “If you hadn’t walked away with Maggie, I’d have asked you out that afternoon we met after the whole Psi incident.”

Alex’s jaw drops at that. “No you wouldn’t have,” Alex argues in disbelief.

“You’re right,” Sam smiles. “I’d probably never have had the guts to ask. I just remember thinking how incredible you were. And then as luck would have it you were my best friend’s other best friend’s sister.”

“Sam,” Alex groans, pushing forward and kissing the brunette briefly. “You’ve felt this way the whole time?”

“Did I think you were gorgeous from the day we met? Yes,” Sam answers. “There was always this pull you generated. I knew I could trust you, which is why I came to you about my blackouts. I fell for you though, really fell, the first time you came to one of Ruby’s soccer games, after you started running tests on me. You were the most relaxed I had ever seen you, in casual clothes. You were so focused on Ruby while she was out there, and when she scored a goal, I think you were more excited than I was. We took a selfie, the three of us. I still have it on my phone. I stared at it that night, and I realized how well you fit. I realized how much I wanted you to fit,” Sam admits.

“Wow,” Alex breathes. She doesn’t know what to say. “Why didn’t you ask me out then?”

“You needed time after Maggie and I was sick, and trying to figure my own stuff out,” Sam sighs. “I wanted to feel like I was in the right spot, like I deserved you.”

“Sam,” Alex sighs, cupping the brunette’s cheek. “You have never been undeserving of my love,” Alex promises her, sealing it with a chaste peck.

Sam is unsure deep down if she can believe it. Aside from being the destroyer of the world, a mass murderer and a terrorist, Sam is aware of the strife she has put Alex through. Some of it she couldn’t control, though she doesn’t really excuse herself from it. But, there have been things she has done willfully. Being stubborn, risking her life several times, worrying the redhead beyond belief, and going behind her back to do something Alex will never agree with.

Sam moves closer to Alex so more of their bodies are touching. She reaches a hand up and brushes some hair out of Alex’s face, before resting her hand against Alex’s cheek. “I’m sorry,” Sam whispers guiltily. “I’m so sorry for having to make this choice.”

“I’m not,” Alex replies. “It was what you needed. I just want you to feel secure, Sam.”

“I promise I won’t hurt you again,” Sam says.

“You can’t make that promise,” Alex argues, shaking her head.

“I won’t, Alex. I won’t ever do something like this again,” she promises.

“And what if Reign emerges and your kill switch activates? What if it malfunctions? What if I lose you some way or another?” Alex asks seriously. “That will hurt me, Sam. Some things are beyond control, but you need to remember your family before you make decisions like this again.”

“I will always do everything in my power to come home to you and Ruby,” Sam promises.

“I need you to make sure Reign stays locked away, Sam,” Alex says. “I need you to promise to fight her off and never let her take you away from us.”

“I won’t let her hurt my family anymore,” Sam assures her, kissing her slowly.  
Alex reciprocates intensely. When they part, she keeps her eyes closed and takes a deep breath before accepting what Sam has promised. She finally opens her eyes to find brown ones staring at her adoringly. She hopes Sam doesn’t realize how hopelessly weak she is when she sees those eyes or she will know how pliable it makes her.

Alex kisses Sam’s forehead and gets comfortable in bed. “Let’s take a nap before Ruby gets home.”

Sam snuggles into Alex in response, laying her head in the crook of her neck and wrapping her arms around her torso. She kisses her pulse point on her neck and mumbles “I love you.”

Alex barely replies the same, before she falls asleep, Sam shortly behind her.

Sam wakes up a couple of hours later pressed tightly into Alex’s bare back. She kisses down the redhead’s spine before pulling herself away and heading towards the bathroom for a shower. 

When she gets out, Alex is no longer in bed. She throws on one of Alex’s sweatshirts and a pair of shorts before she heads out to look for the woman. She finds her in the kitchen brewing a pot of coffee.

When Alex turns around and sees Sam leaning against the counter admiring her, her mouth goes dry. She is stunned by how gorgeous the brunette looks freshly showered and sporting her college sweatshirt. 

“Hey,” Sam smiles at the redhead.

Alex doesn’t say anything, instead stepping over to Sam and pulling her into a deep kiss. It turns hot and passionate quickly. They lose themselves in each other, as Alex grabs Sam’s thighs and props her up on the counter. Sam sits higher than Alex, the angle allowing the brunette to deepen the kiss even more.

Sam finally pulls away, Alex desperately chasing her lips. She laughs, grabbing Alex’s hand and kissing it. “Honey, if you keep kissing me like that, Ruby is going to get back from camp and walk in on her mother in a surprising and permanently scarring situation,” Sam explains through chuckles.

“I can’t help it,” Alex whines. “You’re stunning,” Alex tells her, her hands trailing down the brunette’s thighs as she does.

“If this is stunning,” Sam says, gesturing toward her attire, “then wait until you see me all cleaned up.”

“Oh trust me, I’ve already seen you in your power suits and pencil skirts and I don’t know how I’ll be able to contain myself now that I know I can have you,” Alex groans.

“Is that so?” Sam laughs. “I will have to keep that in mind, Danvers.”

Alex pushes forward and kisses Sam one last time. “Ruby will be home soon. I should shower as well.”

“We should tell her,” Sam says, pulling the departing redhead back between her legs.

“You want to tell Ruby?” Alex asks.

“Yeah,” Sam nods. “This is serious, between us. She should know.”

“Okay,” Alex agrees, a huge smile adorning her face. “I’d love to tell her.”

Sam closes her eyes, resting her forehead against Alex’s. She sighs opening them and staring into Alex’s eyes. “You don’t think we are moving too fast?”

Alex shrugs. “I don’t think I know much of anything, except that I feel for you unlike I’ve ever felt for anyone ever before, Sam. I know I am serious about this. I know that Ruby makes this much more complicated and fragile and I would never want to tell her unless we were sure. I know I don’t ever want to leave or hurt you or Ruby for as long as I live. I love you both so, so much and I want to be a family.”

Sam nods, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “I’d say we already are,” Sam tells her, sealing it with a kiss. “So, how about we order some Chinese and tell her over dinner? We can have a family night.”

“I’d love that,” Alex beams at Sam before kissing her. “I’m going to shower before she gets home.”

When Alex attempts to pull away, Sam pulls her back in for a long and deep, yet tender kiss. She releases the redhead’s lips with a pop and nudges her nose with her own. “I don’t know if I will ever get over the fact that I can do that,” she says through a content smile.

“If this is what I can expect, you’ll receive no complaints from me,” Alex replies with a peck.

Sam laughs and pushes at Alex’s shoulders. “Go shower before I follow you in there,” Sam tells her.

“That’s not really a threat,” Alex laughs.

Sam continues to push her away through deep chuckles. “Again, not trying to scar Ruby. Go,” she orders.

Alex shakes her head before doing as she’s told.

When she exits their bedroom 30 minutes later, showered and changed into pajamas, she finds Ruby and Sam arguing over which of the sisters in Charmed is the best.

“It’s definitely Piper, she’s smart and brave and she’s practically the leader,” Ruby argues.

“Oh come on, Phoebe was super powerful and always came in clutch,” Sam replies.

“Yeah after always being the one who gets them in trouble in the first place,” Ruby shoots back.

Alex laughs as she joins them in the kitchen. This is not the first time the two of them have been found by the redhead debating ‘90s and early 2000’s television. Sam almost exclusively watches shows from that era and often clues Ruby in onto them. She’s told Alex that the ‘90s was the pinnacle decade of good shows. The X-files obsession had just finally ended. Now it seems Charmed will be the topic for a while. 

“Alex who do you think is better?” Sam says, attempting to drag the redhead into it.

Alex raises her hands in surrender. “Oh no, I am not falling for this again. Besides I was a fan of Prue before they offed her,” Alex explains.

“Can we agree that, that is the worst opinion in the room?” Ruby suggests as compromise.

“Yeah I can settle on that,” Sam agrees with a shrug.

“Wow,” Alex exclaims. 

Sam wants to kiss her pout away but remembers they need talk to Ruby first. “Chinese should be here soon. Ruby has decided she wants to start a Harry Potter marathon tonight,” Sam informs her.

“I am okay with that,” Alex smiles at the two of them.

“I’m a Ravenclaw,” Ruby says excitedly. “What are you Alex?”

“I’m a Ravenclaw too, Rube,” she exclaims.

“Awesome,” Ruby shouts. “Mom is a Hufflepuff.”

“Really,” Alex says, eyebrows raised. “I was sure she’d be a Gryffindor seeing as she’s one of the bravest people I know.”

Sam’s eyes shine as she looks at her. She almost wants to blurt it out to Ruby how in love with Alex she is. They’re interrupted by a knock on the door.

Sam goes to answer it and retrieve their dinner while Alex and Ruby grab place settings for them. Alex pours Sam and herself each a glass of wine and the three of them settle at the table.

They’re portioning out food for themselves as Ruby starts telling them about her daily soccer camp shenanigans.

“Hey mom, our first match is coming up,” she says. “Are you and Alex going to be able to come?”

“Of course I’ll be there,” Sam promises. She knows in the past she didn’t make enough time for Ruby. This time she will not make the same mistake.

“Count me in too, Rubes,” Alex adds.

“Yes,” Ruby shouts excitedly. “I like it when both of you are there.”

Sam looks to Alex as if to tell her that now is the time. Alex nods at her and takes her hand under the table.

“Ruby, Alex and I would like to discuss something with you,” Sam begins. Ruby looks at the two of them and pouts.

“Okay?” Ruby replies softly with a questioning tone. She remembers the last time a conversation began like this she was being told Alex was moving out. 

“It’s about Alex and I,” Sam begins, looking at Alex with a gleam in her eye.

“If it’s okay with you, your mother and I would like to pursue a romantic relationship,” Alex supplies. Pealing her eyes away from Sam’s adoring brown ones to look to Ruby for an answer.

“Really?” Ruby asks excitedly.

“Absolutely,” she nods. “I love you both so much. We wanted to ask your permission, and make sure you’re okay with it.”

“Finally,” Ruby shouts.

Sam and Alex share a glance before they start to laugh.

“It took you guys forever,” Ruby adds. “I thought you would never figure it out.”

“Well dear, I think she’s okay with it,” Sam says, smiling at Alex.

Alex smiles back and shakes her head. “Sometimes you are too smart for your own good, Ruby.”

“Ravenclaw,” she explains pointing to her brain.

Alex just rolls her eyes. “Speaking of, let’s get started on that marathon.”

The three of them bundle up and cuddle into each other before beginning their marathon.

They make it to the Prisoner of Azkaban before Ruby passes out.

“Looks like two movies is her limit tonight,” Alex notes.

Sam chuckles and strokes her daughter’s hair back. “I should put her to bed.”

“Can I do it?” Alex asks.

Sam smiles at her and kisses her cheek. “Of course,” Sam says. “I’ll clean up.”

“Okay,” Alex nods. 

She lifts Ruby into her arms and carries the brunette upstairs to her room. She struggles a bit to get the girl under the covers, but manages. She tucks her in and kisses her forehead before leaving her to rest.

She smiles as she heads to Sam’s room, thinking how lucky she is to have the two Arias women in her life.

When Sam joins her in bed a little while later, Alex shows her how much she loves her until well into the night.


	10. Collapse

“Kara, he’s taken to the air, we need you and J’onn to go after him,” Alex shouts into her com. 

“On it. What about Sam?” Kara asks.

“She’s here with me. She got hit, I need to see if she’s alright,” Alex lies.

It’s Sam’s first mission and they are chasing a typical rogue alien. Everything was fine, Sam and Alex were working well together to take the criminal down.

Then he hit Alex pretty hard, slamming her into a nearby wall.

Sam loses it and lets everything go as she attacks him. Memories of Reign flash before her eyes and the anger behind them feeds into attack after attack. She is about to blast him with her laser vision, when Alex comes back to.

“Sam stop,” Alex shouts. “Sam, you’re going to kill him. Stop!” She shouts again.

Sam listens reluctantly and her eyes fall back to brown. She rushes to Alex and sees that she is ok, leaving their suspect to gather his bearings and take off. 

After she’s called into Kara and J’onn she looks at Sam angrily before she realizes the woman is now pacing and in a full panic attack.

Alex stands in front of her and takes her jaw in her hands, forcing her to look her in the eyes. “Sam, focus on me. Look at me. I’m okay. We are okay,” she repeats each sentence several times, breathing with Sam and bringing her back down to Earth. 

“I’m sorry,” Sam cries, before Alex pulls her into an embrace. “He hurt you and I couldn’t control myself. All that anger Reign felt, the memories of it, it fed me and I couldn’t stop.”

“We will have to have a session with J’onn today. Maybe we can remove or reduce some of these memories. The DEO does anything and everything to avoid lethal force, Sam. You need to control yourself,” Alex tells her.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Sam says shaking her head.

“Hey,” Alex says trying to get Sam to look at her. When she does, Alex kisses her gently. “You can, Sam. I believe in you; it’s just going to take time.”

“And the next time you get injured?” Sam wonders.

“Sam, this is part of my job. I need you to be okay with that,” Alex tells her.

“I don’t think I can be,” Sam says resolutely. She flies off to the DEO leaving Alex behind to question what just happened.

When Alex gets back to the command center, Kara is waiting for her.

“What the heck happened out there?” Kara wonders.

“Sam lost it,” Alex sighs. “She didn’t get hit, I did. Then she just saw red.”

“Oh,” Kara responds. “I will admit, it’s not easy seeing you get hurt, Alex,” she tells her, trying to give Sam the benefit of the doubt. She knows with everything that Sam has been through, how easy it could be to lose control. She would be a liar if she said it has never happened to her.

“You know I will be fine,” Alex says.

“Yes, but the first few times you took a hit, I remember I was ready to destroy whoever hurt you. I still worry about you, even after years of fighting by your side,” Kara tells her. “Plus, you have to recognize the trauma Sam has been through. This could easily be in connection with her PTSD.”

“So what do we do?” Alex wonders. “How do you not lose it every time I’m hurt?”

“Exposure,” Kara shrugs. “I know you can handle it and I’ve seen it happen so many times I’m a little immune to it.”

“I don’t think that’s going to work with Sam,” Alex tells her.

“Why not?” Kara asks. 

“On top of being able to feed off Reign’s anger,” Alex sighs before continuing. “She snapped because we are together,” she admits.

“Finally,” Kara groans.

“Why is that everyone’s response?” Alex demands.

“Well, besides the fact that I told you so. And besides the constant tension and the way you two are always zoned in on each other like there is no one else in the room. Alex, you look at Sam like she’s a snack cake and you just got off a desert island. And don’t get me started on how she looks at you, because sometimes it’s not PG enough to describe,” Kara tells her, rolling her eyes at the end.

“Oh my God,” Alex groans, palming her face.

“What? It’s the truth,” Kara shrugs. “Besides my answer is still the same. Sam just needs more exposure. She needs to see that you can handle yourself out there. We just can’t send her on missions alone with you. I’ll need to be there to stop her if this happens again.”

Alex looks at her and weighs what Kara has said before sighing. “Fine, but we’ve got to better prepare her. J’onn should be working on channeling anger with her right now.”

“Good,” Kara nods. “It will probably be a good idea to add back in a weekly session with J’onn. Clearly she hasn’t gotten past everything that’s plaguing her.”

“Clearly,” Alex sighs sadly.

“Hey, it will all work out. You’ve gotten through so much worse,” Kara consoles her, placing her hand on her shoulder and squeezing. “You should head to the medical bay and have one of the doctors look at you before Sam finds out you didn’t get checked out,” Kara advises. “And Alex, I’m happy for you,” she adds, earning a smile from her sister.

“Thanks,” Alex tells her.

She groans before doing as she’s instructed. She gets cleared easily enough with the doctor’s warning to watch out for signs of a concussion.

J’onn finds her before she can leave the med bay and tells her to take the rest of the day off. She fights him on it but he tells her it’s an order, before informing her that he will be having another session with Sam and sending her home as well.

Alex does as she’s told and heads home. She makes it only ten minutes being home alone and frustrated with Sam before she decides she needs to go for a run. She doesn’t care about the doctor’s orders or the possibility for concussion, she needed to get out.

She barely makes it two miles into her jog, when she realizes just how much that hit took out of her. She heads home feeling physically beat. 

She makes it home almost an hour after she headed out, practically dragging herself through the door. All she wants is a shower, a nap, and to wake up with everything between Sam and her resolved.

She closes the door behind her and turns to find Sam rushing towards her. She doesn’t have a moment to react to Sam being there, before the CFO’s lips are on hers.

Sam’s lips cover Alex’s, desperate and heady. Alex gets trapped into it, kisses back with equal fervor.

Sam pushes onward and inward, closing the space between them. She seeks every ounce of contact, as Alex’s back presses into the door.

Alex is lost for several moments as Sam showers her with hard, pleading kisses. She comes to when a wet feeling begins to coat her cheeks as Sam paws at her clothes and attempts to free Alex of her jacket. She hates to have to push Sam off, but with her back so starkly against the door, it’s all she has.

She turns her head, breaking the lock of their lips. She presses the palm of her hand against Sam’s shoulder and creates a little space between them. “I’m sorry,” Sam apologizes for her assault. “I’m sorry.” Alex can feel the anxiety oozing off of Sam, and she’s sure the woman doesn’t even realize she’s crying.

“Sam?” she whispers hoarsely, holding the woman’s face in her hands.

“I’m sorry,” Sam repeats, wiping at her eyes until Alex stops her. “I was so worried when you got hurt. I just needed to feel you again. I’m sorry.”

“Sam, stop apologizing,” Alex says, placing a reassuring kiss on the brunette’s lips. “It was a perfectly understandable reaction. One we should have thought of and discussed. Now that we know, we need to talk about it.”

Sam sighs and looks down sullenly.

Alex hooks her finger under Sam’s chin and pulls her eyes up to meet hers. “We need to find a way forward.”

“I don’t think there is one,” Sam mumbles sadly. “Seeing you get hurt, I don’t think I could ever handle seeing that again.”

“Sam, I’m fine,” Alex promises.

“And what if you weren’t?” Sam demands. “I was so scared I had lost you,” she admits.

Alex kisses her softly, the desperation from before gone. It’s very brief before she pulls away, looking sadly at Sam. “I know it’s scary. I get hurt sometimes, Sam. I can’t lie and say it doesn’t happen. But I’m so good at my job,” she admits, her voice cracking at the end. “I have been doing this for so long and it rarely happens. I love it and I love you, but please don’t make me choose,” she begs.

“How can I focus on being a hero when all I want to do is protect you out there? How can I ever be okay watching you get hurt, if I can prevent it?” Sam asks.

“I need you to trust me,” Alex tells her. “Trust that I can hold my own. If I ever get in the weeds save me, and if I get hurt, rescue me and get me help. Don’t focus on protecting me, don’t kill in my honor. Fight beside me and trust me, as I trust you will be there when I do need you. We are a team.”

“I don’t think I can do it,” Sam repeats.

“You can,” Alex assures her. “It wasn’t easy for Kara at first either. It will take practice, like everything else. Kara can help. Please, don’t make me choose without trying.”

Sam realizes what a huge decision she is forcing the redhead to mull over. She considers quitting the DEO and becoming a vigilante, but she knows she needs their expertise still to help her remain in control. The last thing she ever wants to do is pose Alex with a choice that could end their relationship like Maggie did. She wants Alex, in every way she is willing. She knows she would do anything for the woman. Even subject herself to her biggest fear as of late, losing her.

“Okay. I’ll try,” Sam agrees reluctantly.

Alex lets the temporary relief wash over her, as she pulls Sam into a chaste and thankful peck.

The innocence of it is almost lost, as Sam presses forward to deepen the kiss. Alex pulls back, avoiding the brunette’s lips that follow. “I need a shower and a nap,” she says, placing her forefinger over Sam’s demanding lips.

“Can I join?” Sam asks.

“Only if you promise no funny business,” Alex replies. “I’m sore and possibly a little concussed.”

Sam frowns for her girlfriend and kisses her briefly. “Let’s take a warm shower and I will help you work out some kinks.”

Alex nods, grabs her hands and pulls her towards the bathroom. Sam shuts the door, while Alex turns the shower on to the temperature she usually sets it. 

She turns to find Sam gazing upon her with a mix of desire, awe and adoration. Alex has never felt so much love from a single gaze. She tugs on Sam’s shirt and pulls her forwards into a gentle kiss.

They slowly rid themselves of their clothes, Sam and Alex exploring each other with their lips all the while.

They step in together, and Sam stands behind Alex, letting the spray hit her completely. She runs her fingers through the redhead’s hair, kissing her neck as she does.

She keeps Alex under the spray, pulls her short hair to one side, and pecks her bare shoulder. She guides Alex forward, out of the spray and collects some shampoo in her hands. When she begins lathering the suds into soft red hair, her actions are met with deep and lengthy moans.

She uses the falling suds to guide her hands over Alex’s neck and shoulders, massaging deeply into all the spots she knows pains her. She works her way back up to Alex’s scalp and finishes there before she puts her hands on Alex’s waist and pulls her back under the spray.

She massages the suds from her hair, following the final trails of bubbles down the redhead’s back with her lips. She reaches the dip at Alex’s hip and she feels a shiver run down her spine, before the agent turns to face Sam and pulls her up into a passionate kiss.

When they part, Sam continues a meticulous trail along the center of Alex’s chest and around her stomach stopping before her pelvis.

Alex lets out a surprised yelp when Sam nips at her hipbone. She shakes her head and pulls Sam back up so they’re face to face. “I said no funny business,” Alex scolds her before kissing her.

Sam pulls away shortly after and directs Alex to turn back around. “I wasn’t done,” she tells her.

She grabs the conditioner and begins massaging a dollop into Alex’s hair. She works her hands back over Alex’s neck and shoulders, spending extra time on the agent’s large knots. When she’s satisfied that she’s relieved some of them, she pulls Alex back under the spray and rinses her hair.

Alex pulls Sam’s face to hers and kisses her from over her shoulder. Sam wraps her arms around Alex and guides them back out from under the water. When their lips break apart, she attaches hers to Alex’s neck leaving a lasting peck.

Finally, she gets the soap and begins to lather a large amount into her hands. She begins at Alex’s neck, lathering and massaging as she works her way down to her shoulder, back, legs. She skips the intimate areas purposely.

She kisses and nips at Alex’s butt, earning a gasp, before she lathers there.

She presses herself to Alex’s sudsy backside, and wraps her arms around her. She starts at her stomach, lathers her way up to her chest and works on her breasts. She can’t help squeezing and massaging as she does, grinning when Alex presses herself into her more.

Her hands begin a descent again, stopping to grip either side of Alex’s hips. She kisses behind Alex’s ear. “I love you, let me take care of you,” she whispers.

Alex doesn’t have a moment to say anything before Sam’s hand begins stroking her. She almost loses her footing out of surprise, but Sam wraps her free hand around her and holds her up.

“Sam,” she groans. She said no funny business, but she’s learning that never works on Sam. The amount of lust that exists between them is unbelievable. Not to mention the amount of heat that has been rising within her in between Sam’s ministrations and explorations of her body.  
Sam pulls her into another kiss over the shoulder, increasing her speed as she continues pulling Alex closer and closer to the edge.

As Alex climaxes, Sam pulls them back under the water, continuing her ministrations as she does. When the quakes subside and the final suds fall from Alex’s body, Sam kisses her shoulder one last time.

She turns the water off, opens the shower curtain and grabs a towel to wrap around Alex.  
She wraps herself up in a towel as well and then pulls them into their room. She takes her towel to roughly dry Alex’s hair, then does the same to her own.

“Let’s take a nap,” she suggests, pulling the covers back so Alex can get in. “Afterwards, will you come over and stay the night?” Sam asks, earning a nod from the redhead.

She crawls in beside Alex immediately after, wraps her naked body around her and kisses her spine. “Goodnight, my love,” she whispers.

“Goodnight, Sam. I love you,” she says, her voice groggy. She falls asleep thinking about how true that is. The last thought on her mind falls resolutely on yes. Yes, she would leave the DEO if Sam ever asked her to choose.


End file.
